


Written in Chalk

by wanderingbarks



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/M, Professor Ben Solo, Professor Kylo Ren, Professor Ren, Teacher-Student Relationship, set in an old English university
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:17:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 53,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22137040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingbarks/pseuds/wanderingbarks
Summary: Of all the things Rey thought she would learn at university, falling in love with her disgruntled English professor, Dr Ren, wasn't one of them.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 21
Kudos: 236





	Written in Chalk

The heavens had opened to greet Monday morning with a patter of cold, dreary rain. It was already October, and the cool autumn chill began to nip and bite at anyone who had forgotten to wear a coat that day. Rey saw the gloomy weather from her window and remembered to put on her old raincoat before she left her dorm.

The town was buzzing with students rushing to their first lectures of the year, or in Rey's case, her first university lecture ever.

She scurried quickly down the cobbled main street with her hand holding the hood of her raincoat as the autumn breeze battled against her to pull it down. The university map that she was given when she arrived the day before, told her that it was only a short five-minute walk to her lecture hall from her accommodation, but it felt like an eternity as she battled the gales and torrential rain.

Luckily, Rey was well ahead of schedule as she allowed herself twenty minutes to get to her lecture hall in case there was a slight chance she got lost on the way; and of course, to get a decent seat.

Unlike most people, Rey actually liked to sit at the front because she figured out that teachers tend to pick on students who sit at the back (and who are usually talking). The back rows are the most obvious places for students to hide if they don't want to be picked on. Teachers never pick on the ones who sit at the front, because they think they're keen-bean know-it-all’s and prefer to pick on those who aren’t paying attention. Rey had it all figured out, you see.

When she arrived, she saw a big imposing old-brick hall with fancy windows. At the entrance was a large door with a lion head for a doorknob. Rey was quite impressed with her new university. All the buildings where she's from look like rotten 60s buildings that were falling apart. This town looked almost magical.

She looked at her watch and saw that she still had fifteen minutes until her Introduction to English Literature lecture started. Gently pulling the lion doorknob, Rey went inside as she didn't want to stand in the cold and wet rain for much longer. At the centre of the entrance hall, there was a busk of what was presumably the chancellor of the university, and next to it a large spiralling staircase.

Signs on the wall pointed to different rooms and lecture halls and she saw one that said 'Café' which was pointing left. Perfect, she thought. She could do with a steaming cup of tea to warm herself up from being drenched in the cold rain. She shook the water off her coat, wiped her shoes on the matt and made her way to the café at the end of the corridor, looking around her in amazement the whole time.

The café, which was called the 'Coffee Nook' was heaving and noisy with students who had a similar idea to Rey. There was already a queue snaking its way around some of the tables and a delicious smell wafted its way through from the other side of the cafe. Rey made her way through the crowd to see where it was coming from and she saw an array of different foods on display such as rustic pizzas and hot sandwiches ready for lunch despite it being still early in the morning. Rey took in the delicious aromas and placed her hand on the glass of the display counter. She took a mental note to stop by her for lunch one day as the pizzas looked mouth-watering. Suddenly, she remembered why she had come to the cafe in the first place. Looking at her watch, she began to panic.

She quickly turned to go back to the other side of the café to join the end of the queue so she could get her tea, but suddenly she bumped right into someone. Everything went dark and she felt hot liquid pour down her. As she stepped back, she looked up and saw that she had knocked into a very tall man, with black hair. The man was dressed in a tweed coat, holding a briefcase and now an empty cup.

Crap. There was hot coffee down him too - and on his white shirt.

Rey gawped.

"I'm so, so, so sorry! Please let me…" Rey said; her hands were trembling in a panic as she grabbed a handful of napkins on the display next to her. Without thinking, Rey tried to wipe the man's coat with one of the napkins to dry the coffee.

"Leave it!" the man scoffed, batting her hand away from his chest. He looked menacingly into Rey's eyes, "Why don't you watch where you're going next time!?" the man yelled at her.

Everyone in the café went quiet to stare at the scene. All of a sudden, Rey felt like the smallest person in the room.

“S-sorry” was the only word that came to her.

She could feel her cheeks blushing as she felt the man's penetrating, dark eyes glare at her in a rage. He threw his empty coffee cup in the bin and angrily walked out of the café.

After a few moments, the room resumed to its usual white noise of coffee shop chatter. Rey sighed and joined the queue again. She couldn't shake off the embarrassment that was eating away at her as she stood in the line. She knew it was going to affect her for the rest of the day. She felt terrible for spilling coffee all over that man, but did he really have to yell at her in front of the entire room?

When it got to her turn in the queue, she ordered a simple English tea with no milk and walked straight out of the café as soon as it was handed to her after paying.

Thankfully, Rey was still early for her lecture; at least one thing was going smoothly today. When she entered the lecture hall there were only a handful of students who were scattered across the room. No one sat near the front, unsurprisingly. Rey climbed a couple of steps and shimmied her way down the first row. She took off her wet coat and got out her notebook and pen.

The lecture hall quickly filled up as the minutes passed, but no one sat next to her. Rey didn't mind though, as it made her feel less claustrophobic when she wasn't surrounded by people.

Eventually, a guy sat next to her who looked like he had just been running through the rain outside.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" he asked, slightly out of breath.

"No, not at all" Rey said.

The guy took off his wet raincoat and spread it out on the other chair next to him to dry.

"Thanks" he said, "I like the front row because the teacher never picks on the front row."

Rey turned to him and grinned, "Me too!"

The guy laughed and put his hand out in front of her, "I'm Finn, by the way."

"I'm Rey" she replied, shaking his hand politely.

"Nice to meet you, Rey." Finn said, smiling. He looked at his watch and chuckled.

“Glad I got here just in time, apparently Dr Ren is really strict and doesn’t allow any latecomers.”

“Really? That’s harsh.” Rey said, she was beginning to feel slightly nervous now about her first lecture.

Just as Rey muttered those words, the room fell instantly silent as the lecturer walked through the doors.

“Oh no…” Rey whispered out load. Suddenly, her stomach started to hurt.

The lecturer was none other than the man she bumped into and spilled hot coffee all over just ten minutes ago. And Rey was sitting at the front, right in line with his view.

He walked over to the desk, placed his briefcase down and took off his coat.

“Good morning, class” he said, looking only at Rey.

  
  
Chapter 2: Chapter 2

They held eye contact for what felt like an eternity until Rey broke it by pretending to look at her nonexistent notes. Once she knew he was looking elsewhere, Rey sank further into her seat, and felt very uncomfortable.

There was a lectern with a microphone at the front, but the lecturer decided to sit on the desk, using his own voice.

“I’m Dr Kylo Ren and I’m the coordinator for this module which is Introduction to English Literature, in case any of you are in the wrong class. As all of you are aware, this lecture starts at nine a.m sharp. If you are more than two minutes late, I will not allow you into this lecture hall and there are no exceptions to that rule. Seminar classes are once a week and there are four groups. I teach one group and the other groups are taught by my colleagues…” the lecturer stated matter-of-factly.

Please don’t let me be in his seminar group, Rey prayed under her breath.

The lecturer continued, projecting his voice without the help of the microphone; “Make sure you turn up to the right seminar, your assigned group will be available on the university’s online board soon. So there’s no excuse if you turn up late or to the wrong seminar. If you’re ill, I expect you to email me in advance that you will be absent. If you fail to do this, I will mark it as an unexplained absence and report it to the university. The university will then issue a warning and will take action if this behavior is continued. I hope I make it very clear that attendance is part of your academic obligation.”

Finn turned to look at Rey with his eyebrows raised; Rey just swallowed nervously.

Dr Ren got out his laptop and linked it to the projector. The screen showed a PowerPoint with what looked like his email address.

“Now, when it comes to asking or emailing me any questions, I have three rules…”

Everyone around them seemed to be scribbling away or typing frantically except Rey, who was the only one looking up. Her eyes were wide open as she tried to take in all the daunting information. Ren’s eyes caught hers again and the knot in her stomach tightened.

“Before emailing me ask yourself these three questions: one: can I find the answer in the module handbook? Two: will a classmate know the answer? And three: can I work it out using my own common sense? If you have not found the answer to your question at this point, only then should you email me. Otherwise it’s a stupid question and quite frankly, I have too much marking and research to deal with stupid questions from freshmen.”

Charming, Rey mused.

The professor then began explaining the assessment of the course but all that Rey could focus on was the large coffee stain on his shirt. She remembered the enraged look on his face when she crashed into him and spilt hot coffee all over him. The coffee went over her too, though she was wearing a raincoat so it didn’t make her clothes wet. However, she did still strongly smell of coffee. Rey kept replaying the scene over in her head as he continued talking about percentage grades and coursework.

Rey turned to Finn who was doodling on the spine of his notebook.  
“I gave him that coffee stain when I bumped into him earlier,” she confessed quietly to him.

“You did that!?” Finn whispered, his eyes were as big as dinner plates when he looked at Rey.

Rey sighed, “I’m already in his bad books.”

But at that moment she noticed that Dr Ren had stopped talking and was glaring at her.

“I’m sorry, do you have something more important to say?” he asked Rey, right in the middle of the lecture.

Rey’s heart almost stopped. She turned around to look behind her in a false hope that he was addressing another student, but of course it was meant for her.

“Yes, you. The girl in the front.” He said as he slowly walked towards her desk. The coffee stain looked bigger as ever now as he towered over her.

Rey looked away from his glare and down at her notes.

“No, sir.” She replied as calmly as she could, though inside she was a mess of nerves.

“Have you even been paying attention to my lecture?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What’s your name?” He asked her with a tone of hostility.

“I’m sorry?” replied Rey in a stupor. She wasn’t expecting him to ask her that.

“Your name,” he spat, “what is it?”

“Rey” she responded, looking at him with confusion. Why did he need to know anyway?

“Don’t cause me any more problems,” he warned her threateningly as he pointed to his chest. Rey immediately got the double meaning as she looked at the stain he was pointing to. She felt her cheeks burning.

She frowned and watched him walk back over to the front of the hall. He continued lecturing on the assessment for the course.

But Rey didn’t pay that much attention to the rest of the lecture as she felt too angry to be taking detailed notes. She only jotted down the reading list for the semester. When the clock hand finally ticked on the hour, she sighed in relief. She packed her things as fast as she could as she didn’t want to spend any longer in the presence of the professor who apparently hated her guts now.

Rey knew it was only the first day at university, but she had already felt the loneliness sink in when she arrived. The urge to run back home created a knot in her stomach. Except there was no home to run to now. She was nineteen and too old to go back to the foster home that she grew up in. The only way she could stay there to wait for her parents was if she started working there as a social worker; indeed, the option had passed her mind before. But then again since the university gave her an unconditional offer and a grant for her exceptional work at school, she couldn’t refuse. Though, part of her felt that she didn’t belong in this prestigious university because she was given leverage for her poor background. And the fact that she had already got in trouble with her professor during her very first lecture confirmed that insecurity.

Finn had also finished packing as the crowd of students began to rush out. “So, where are you off to now?” he asked Rey.

“Willow college,” she replied, “you?”

“Yeah, me too!” Finn said as he threw his backpack over his shoulder. “Wait, how come I didn’t see you on the way over here?” he asked.

“I like to be early. Well, at least for my first lecture. Though, looks like I got in trouble with the professor anyway,” she replied.  
Finn gently patted Rey on the shoulder, “Hey, don’t worry about it. That professor is pure evil. Don’t take it personal. Apparently he’s mean to everyone.”

“Thanks.” Rey sighed, it was exactly the reassurance she needed at that moment. Finn seemed like a sweet guy and she hoped that they would become good friends.

They walked together back to the same college together where their dorms where.

The university was split into ten colleges, each student was assigned a college to live in. There were stereotypes for each college - one was full of jocks, another one was for party-animals, and apparently Willow college which Rey was randomly assigned was the studious one. Yet, despite it being the nerdy college, everyone seemed to be very social and Rey hadn’t found someone to talk to properly until she met Finn. She was glad too that they also did the same subject. At least mealtimes would be less awkward now that she found someone to sit with.

When they arrived at college, they stopped in the main corridor as Finn’s dorm was on the opposite wing to Rey’s.

“See you for lunch?” Finn asked.

Rey smiled and nodded.

*  
It was Wednesday night which, for Firgrove University was a party night. All the clubs in town had themed fancy-dress nights and everyone in college were taking part in pre-drinks and variations of drinking games to get drunk before heading out to the club. Rey was trying to read quietly in her room, she had a lot of books to get through from her reading list. However, she couldn’t hear herself think thanks to the noise of people going crazy in the hallway and the Willow college bar which was unfortunately, below her room.

Rey sighed. She grabbed her book and left her room, making sure to lock the door lest some drunkard from the bar decided to walk in and sleep on her bed or something.

She decided to wander the upper floors of the college which were further from the bar. It was a very old college so the hallways and stairs were like labyrinths. Rey had a fairly strong sense of orientation though, so she didn’t mind exploring. It was drunk students she was more worried about.

As she climbed up another set of spiral stairs, suddenly the steps came to a halt. There in front of her sitting on the steps was Finn and another girl. But strangely the stairs didn’t seem to carry on as there was a wall at the top behind them.

“Oh, sorry!” She said, instantly thinking that she was interrupting something.

“No, no. Don’t worry, come and sit with us!” Finn said to Rey, gesturing to sit on one of the steps.

“Where is this exactly?” Rey asked, trying to work out why the staircase led to a wall.

“The staircase that leads to nowhere.” The girl replied, moving to the side so that Rey could see that the stair case did in fact, lead to nowhere. “Bad restoration planning.”

“Huh, so it is.” Rey noted.

“I’m Rose, by the way.” The girl next to Finn said, placing her hand out to a Rey.

Rey shook it, “Nice to meet you, Rose, I’m Rey,” she said smiling. “I wasn’t interrupting something was I?”

“We’re hiding from the crazy drunk people,” Finn answered a little too quickly as he looked at Rose.

“They keep pulling pranks on people’s dorms,” Rose added.

“Me too,” Rey chuckled. “I was trying to read but I’ve given up all hope of getting work done this evening.”

Finn glanced at the book that Rey held in her hand next to him.

“You’re already on Defoe!? I haven’t even finished Jane Eyre yet! How are you so ahead on the reading list?” He asked in amazement.

“Dr Ren,” Rey simply stated, “I don’t want to give him any more reasons to hate me.”

Finn scoffed, “Well, you’re properly ahead of everyone else in our entire year now so if he did, then we’re all screwed.”

“Wow, for once I’m relieved that I do engineering... Sounds like you have an awful teacher,” Rose said.

“Tell me about it,” Rey sighed, resting the back of her head on the wall.

“Hey, did you check which seminar group you’re in? I’m so glad I’m not in Ren’s.” Finn asked Rey.

“No? Did they release the list?” Rey asked whilst searching in her pocket for her phone. “I forgot to turn my notifications off silent today.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t see which group you were in. It only tells you the time and name of the professor.”

When Rey opened her email app she saw the new email at the top with the subject ‘English Intro: Seminar Groups’ and the professor’s name next to her’s.

“Great,” Rey groaned, “I got Dr Ren."

*  
In the early hours of Friday morning, a painfully loud noise screeched into Rey’s ears rousing her from her peaceful slumber. It was the middle of the night. The sound was dreadful. Her first conscious thought was that the world was ending. Soon she realised it was only an alarm. Everything was so fast; the ringing of the alarm, her heartbeats. In a fret, she tried to roll out of bed as quickly as possible. She forgot, however, that she was in a different room to her old one and consequently smacked herself straight into the wall opposite.

“OUCH! What the…” she murmured, placing a hand on her forehead in a state of pain and confusion. When she opened her eyes, she realised that she was in her college room, not her old room and that it was the fire alarm shrieking above her.  
She finally got out of the correct side of the bed and frantically searched for some shoes and her dressing gown. She put her trainers on, not wanting to dirty her slippers since she would be going outside. Once she grabbed her dressing gown, she left her room and made her way down the stairs to the main hallway.

There, she saw an equally confused and sleepy Finn among other students. They both looked at each other’s panicked faces to confirm that this wasn’t some weird dream but that the horrible noise of the fire alarm was in fact real. As they both tried to work out where the heck the fire exit was and comically bumping into each other, a senior rep appeared at the exit to the college. He was banging a pot with a spatula and making more noise on top of the fire alarm.

“Why is he doing that!? We can hear the fire alarm!” Finn tried to shout to Rey over the awful racket.

“I know!” Rey shouted back.

The rep then blew a whistle. Finn and Rey covered their ears.

“FRESHERS THIS WAY!” yelled the rep and pointed to the exit. Presumably, that was where the fire assembly point was.

Finn and Rey followed instructions, still covering their ears from the din.

As they went down the stairs and through the corridor, they saw more freshmen walking quickly to the same door. Everyone began to congregate outside the college on the street. They were all in their pyjamas and dressing gowns apart from the senior reps who were wearing normal clothes. Must be a drill, Rey figured.

“Attention freshmen!” it was the Student President of Willow college who spoke on a megaphone. “This is not a fire drill. This is a rite of passage into becoming a true Willowian. You must complete a mile run, in your current attire, finishing by the entrance to the porter’s lodge. There are reps with lights to guide you along the trail. We won’t let you back into college until you finish the trial. So, ON YOUR MARKS… GET SET… GO!” the Student President yelled and blew a foghorn. Everyone began to jog in synchronisation.

“This is the stupidest thing ever,” Finn said to Rey, panting.

At that moment, Rey realised that they were all sheep mindlessly submitting to college culture. They followed the crowd of freshmen down the path from Willow college onto the main streets. Everything was cold, dark and wet. Of course, it was raining too.

“I thought all initiations were banned anyway” Finn shouted to Rey, already out of breath.

“Clearly not,” Rey grumbled.

“They could’ve at least warned us about what to wear, I’m in slippers!” Finn protested. Rey looked down to see his white slippers already getting dirty from the mud.

Rey wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at the situation. But there was no time for emotional outbursts as she had to keep up with the others as the reps cheered them on. They jogged through dark streets and muddy paths and across almost every bridge over the river. But luckily, the trail wasn’t as far as Rey had initially thought and was probably only about a mile rather than two. Finn caught up after being behind Rey for awhile – this time with only one slipper on.

Pointing behind him he called to her, “Rey! I think Rose needs help!”

*

Rose had sprained her ankle and was sitting on the cold wet floor by the bridge. Finn and Rey helped her up and she leaned on both of their shoulders.

“Thanks, you guys” Rose muttered as she hobbled.

“Don’t worry about it” Finn insisted.

“I’m just glad we found you,” added Rey.

The three of them hobbled back to college and took Rose to her room.

Rey told Finn that she could look after Rose for a bit. After all, Rose needed help getting changed from her wet clothes since she sprained her ankle pretty badly. One of the college staff members was going to come by at half nine in the morning to pick Rose up and take her to the doctor. But since it wasn’t extremely urgent and still five in the morning, the senior rep told Rey to look after her in the meantime until the college staff member arrived.

Rey helped Rose get changed out of her wet pyjamas into dry clothes and guided her back into bed.

“Thanks Rey,” Rose said smiling as she lay back in bed, “you don’t have to stay.”

“It’s only a few hours, and I’m awake anyway. So, it’s not a problem.” Rey reassured her.

She lay next to Rose on the double bed once they got settled and waited for 9.30 a.m to come. Slowly, both of them fell asleep without realising.

*  
Rey suddenly woke up in a panic.

“My class!” she quaked looking at the clock on Rose’s bedside table.

It was 8.57 a.m. and never had Rey dreaded such a combination of numbers.

“Is everything okay?” Rose mumbled, concerned.

“I completely forgot I have a seminar now, and I fell asleep! I can’t believe I forgot!” Rey jumped off the bed and looked for her shoes, “Will you be okay here?”

“Yes!” Rose replied decidedly, “seriously, I’ll be fine here. I have my cell, if I need anything I can always call the college or Finn.”

“Are you sure?” Rey asked.

“Absolutely! You’ve already done more than enough. Finn will let you know how I get on.” Rose reassured, and pointed to the door. “Seriously, Rey, go! I’ll be fine!”

“Okay, hope the ankle gets better!” Rey called back and sprinted out of Rose’s room to her own room to change out of her pyjamas which she still had on.

As Rey frantically got changed, grabbed her books and ran out of the door, she prayed hard that she would make it in time for the seminar with Dr. Ren.

*  
Rey ran down the cobbled streets of the town, dodging between people as fast as she could. She saw the English building approaching and ran straight in.

As the Seminar room appeared at the end of the corridor, she slowed down. Rey apprehensively peered into the window of the door and saw that the classroom was already filled with students and Dr Ren. She closed her eyes, sighing. She opened the door as quietly as she could, hoping that she could slip into one of the desks unnoticed. Despite her polite efforts, Dr Ren turned around slowly and faced her. Teachers really do have eyes on the back of their heads.

“Rey,” he said after a few seconds of observing her face. “You’re late” he stated, “I already warned you about latecomers. You need to leave.” He snapped, pointing to the door.

Rey felt the rest of the class’ eyes on her as she sat down. She mustered up every ounce of courage that she had left in her, despite her trembling hand and butterfly-stomach.

“No,” she simply replied.

“No?” Dr Ren raised his eyebrows. She thought she imagined it, but there appeared to be a slight smirk on his lips. “I don’t think you get to decide that.”

“I’m exactly… two minutes late” Rey said reading her watch; “and I’m not moving. I’ve studied all week for this and I will attend this class.” She declared as she got out her books.

Rey couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth or her sudden boldness. She waited for Dr Ren’s outburst of rage followed by sending her out, but it never came.

Instead he just stared at her. This time Rey didn’t look away and stared right back, unflinchingly.

“Fine,” he spoke. “See me in my office after class.”

  
  
Chapter 3: Chapter 3

After their brief quarrel, Dr Ren continued with the seminar. Rey still felt the adrenaline pumping through her veins, but she didn’t care. She got what she wanted in the end, even though it came at a price. She planned to keep her head down for the rest of the class and take notes, ignoring the occasional piercing eyes that Dr Ren would give her every now and then.

The seminar was on Jane Eyre as the genre for this term was the English novel over the ages. Rey had already reread it over the summer and studied in it high school so she pretty much knew it back to front.

The seminar room had a large wooden table in the middle surrounded by chairs where the students sat. Rey sat on the chair nearest to the door since she was the last one in, but unfortunately, it was also the one next to Dr Ren’s. No-one wanted to sit next to the teacher, _she didn’t blame them._

There were about ten or so other students in the class and all of them were using laptops or tablets. Rey noticed that she was the only one who was using a notepad and pen, and who had a physical copy of the text. She did have a laptop in her room but it was too big and slow to bring to classes; she couldn’t afford to buy a fancy new laptop like the other students had. Once again, she felt like the odd one out.

Even her copy of the text was old and battered and full of post-its and highlighter. Rey liked her books to be well-loved, even though the smell of a fresh and untainted new book was special. But she preferred to buy second-hand copies from charity shops as there was something charming about finding someone else’s notes in a book. Plus, they were a lot cheaper too and Rey didn’t really have much money to spare for new books either. She tried to ignore her growing insecurity and concentrate on the lesson.

Dr Ren stood up for the first half of the class as he wrote down biographical information on the blackboard about the author of the book.

As it wasn’t a lecture, Dr Ren asked the students questions and wrote the answer on the blackboard, once they answered it correctly. No one was allowed to look anything up on the internet, however, as he insisted all English students should have this information memorised in their head. He even told the class to close their laptops and tablets. Rey felt a little better for bringing a notebook. He started off with basic questions about the novel; the date it was written, the literary era. Only a few brave souls put their hands up as everyone was pretty terrified of him.

Rey didn’t dare put her hand up to begin with as she tried to keep her head down without being noticed. The dread she felt as she kept thinking about having to go to his office after class was still there. After a while, the questions got harder and soon, people stopped putting their hands up.

“What was Bronte’s pseudonym when she originally published the book?” Ren asked as he held a piece of chalk in his hand, ready for someone to give him the answer straight away. No one responded. Rey looked around the class waiting for someone to say the answer that she already knew, but everyone had a blank face.

After two minutes of silence, Rey put her hand up, ignoring the small voice in her head that told her _this is a terrible idea_.

“Yes?” Dr Ren said pointing to Rey with a hint of surprise in his face.

“Currer Bell” Rey stated.

“Correct.” Dr Ren replied and began writing it on the board next to Charlotte Bronte’s name.

“And what genre is Jane Eyre?” he then asked the class.

One guy on the end of the table answered without putting his hand up.

“Victorian novel,” the student stated confidently.

Dr Ren rolled his eyes, “Well _obviously_, but that’s not the answer I’m looking for. Is it_?_” he retorted. He waited for someone else to give another response but the class went quiet again.

Rey was itching with the answer in her seat but she was still hesitant to participate fully. Ren looked at the other students as they all held their gaze down, avoiding his penetrating glare. Except for Rey who was sat upright and staring at the blackboard.

“Rey?” Ren said, observing that she was biting her lip in frustration.

“Bildungsroman, sir,” Rey responded instantly.

“Good. At least _someone_ knows the basics.” Dr Ren muttered under his breath as he scribbled the information on the board.

After asking numerous questions which only Rey could answer, Dr Ren then set exercises for the class to do for the second half of the seminar. The exercises were in groups of three and felt less awkward than the past ten minutes of Rey answering all his questions in front of the class. The rest of the seminar passed by quickly as Rey could relax a bit more in a small group with her classmates.

“That was brave, standing up to him,” one of Rey’s classmates whispered to her during the group sessions, when Dr Ren had briefly left the room.

“Thanks,” Rey said, but she really just wanted to concentrate on the task at hand and not think about her enemy professor for once.

They had to analyse an extract together from the novel using different types of literary theory analysis. Each group was assigned a different type of literary theory to research and then use. Fortunately, Rey had already annotated this section in her book so her group finished before the other groups. At the end of the seminar, they had to present their extract analysis to the others.

When they finished presenting, Dr Ren dismissed the class after setting them their first essay to have in on Monday morning before the lecture. The awkwardness of the hour vanished as everyone began packing their things and chatting loudly again. It returned once all the students had left the classroom and Rey was the only one left in the room.

Rey didn’t move from her seat as she knew she had to go to his office. She quietly packed her books into her bag and remained seated, waiting for Dr Ren to finish up. He was shutting his own laptop down and wiping the chalk off the board. For several minutes neither of them spoke a word to each other. Rey began to wonder if he forgot that she was actually there. _Should she say something? Stand up? Apologise? _All these options swam in her head as she waited for him to clean the board.

Finally, the silence broke.

Dr Ren turned to her, “My office is just upstairs. You don’t have another class now, do you?” he asked, as he strapped his bag over his shoulder, looking at Rey.

“No, I don’t,” Rey replied. She was surprised he even had the decency to ask if she had something else on. She wished she did have another class now, though.

Dr Ren opened the door of the classroom and motioned for her to go first. Rey stood up.

“Thanks,” she mumbled as she timidly walked out of the door. She couldn’t understand this man, _at all_. Is he just a hard-ass in front of large groups and actually a normal, decent human being one-to-one? Or does he constantly change mood? She couldn’t tell, but she was yet to find out. The walk to his office was long and silent.

Eventually, they reached a door with ‘Dr Kylo Ren’ written on it. He unlocked the door to his office and gestured for her to go on before him. Rey walked slowly into the room and stood to the side of the door.

Dr Ren motioned for her to take a seat on the opposite chair to his.

The office was somewhat spacious, and his desk was surprisingly tidy considering he was an academic. There was a large wooden bookshelf on the wall opposite to his desk. It was filled with hundreds of books, all to do with English Literature. It was Rey’s dream to own that many books and to have read them all. She couldn’t stop herself from secretly staring at them all in awe. But she stopped, once she saw he got a folder out and pen and remembered why she was in his office in the first place. She swallowed anxiously.

“Full name?” Dr Ren asked.

“Rey Kenobi” she answered.

“Unusual surname,” he commented as he began shuffling through his papers, presumably to find information on her.

_If only you knew_, she thought. It wasn’t even her family name. It was the name of the monk who founded her foster home. That was the surname they gave the kids who had no record of their parents’ surname from the hospital. She never knew her parents’ real surname. She still held onto the hope that one day she would. None of this, of course, she could to explain to him in that moment, though. Not that he would have the human decency to care. So, Rey simply nodded, without expression.

“College?”

“Willow,” Rey replied.

After another minute or so, he eventually pulled out a document from his folder. He looked at Rey and then back at the document again. Rey could see from where she was sitting that the document had her passport photo on it, and she would have _quite liked the ground to swallow her up right now, thank you._

Ren began scribbling something onto the document.

“So,” he said, facing her, “why were you late to my class?”

Rey sighed. “I was asleep.”

He scoffed, “You overslept? That’s not an excuse.”

“Well, yes but there’s more to it than that.”

“What more is there to it? You overslept, and you were late. Laziness won’t get you through the course” he ranted.

Rey sighed again, “There was a college initiation. I got woken up by at four a.m. by the college fire alarm, then they made us run around the town, and my friend got hurt so I stayed with her in her room until she could get help… and I fell asleep.” Rey explained, looking at her feet.

Dr Ren crossed his arms and remained silent for a few moments. Rey dared to lift her gaze from her feet to his face and was meant with his gaze.

“Usually, I would inform your Academic Advisor about this kind of behaviour _but_-” He began sternly.

“But you won’t?” Rey inquired with a tone of hope.

“I _am_ your Academic Advisor,” he said, gazing at her.

“Oh,” Rey replied, failing to mask her surprise. _Wonderful._

“At least we’re killing two birds with one stone,” Rey nervously joked, but Dr Ren didn’t laugh.

Suddenly, their meeting was interrupted by a loud thumping on the door.

“What?” Ren yelled at the door. It opened and a pale man with red hair appeared in the doorway. “I’m busy, Hux” Ren spat as he saw the man enter his office.

“Chancellor Snoke wants to see you. You _better_ have those reports ready or he won’t be thrilled to see you.” Hux, who was presumably another professor, ordered bossily.

Ren furiously glared at him and didn’t say a word. The man walked out of his office and slammed the door. Rey jumped at the sound; a moment which in another less tense context would have been quite comical.

Frustrated, Dr Ren sighed.

“We’ll finish this another time,” he said to Rey. “And don’t forget to hand in your paper on Monday morning.”

“So, I’m not in trouble then?” Rey dared to ask him as she walked out of the room.

“We’ll see.” Dr Ren replied.

*

Monday brought a colder autumn chill, but at least this time it was sunny and not raining heavily. Rey got up early enough to do her hair in a bun. The weekend allowed her to catch up on a lot of things, including sleep. With her essay written, her hair neatly done up and her bag packed, she set off for her first lecture of the week.

Rey arrived early to the building again, but this time not only so she could secure her preferred seat in the lecture hall. She had a different plan.

The first thing she did was drop off her essay in Dr Kylo Ren’s pigeon hole. She was glad that the university adopted an anonymous marking system for essays. It made her a lot less nervous about submitting her first essay to Dr Kylo Ren. He wouldn’t be able to know which one was hers until he submitted the mark, thanks to the anonymous marking codes that students put on their essays instead of their names. It also meant that she was able to do what she was about to do, without it being a bribe.

Rey entered the Coffee Nook and ordered a large latte to take away.

When she arrived upstairs where the English department offices were, she got out a post-it note from her bag and quickly wrote a little message:

** _Sorry about the shirt._ **

Rey placed the post-it on the lid of the coffee and creeped up next to Dr Ren’s office. Once again Rey ignored the logical voice in her head that was telling her, _this is another bad idea._

After gently placing the coffee on the floor, in front of his door, she knocked and then immediately sprinted down the corridor. As she reached the end of the corridor, Rey briefly turned her head back and saw Dr Ren open the door. Rey carried on sprinting.

If he was going to hate her, maybe it wouldn’t be for spilling hot coffee down his shirt. _Hopefully._

  
  
Chapter 4: Chapter 4

On a cold November evening, Rey, Finn and Rose made their way down the frosty cobbled streets to an obscurer part of town. They were told by some third-years that the best pub in the whole city was on Gallows Alley and that every Thursday night they held a pub quiz there.

After spending the previous evening marathoning their essays and lab reports respectively in the library till one a.m, all three of them agreed that Thursday night would be a treat-night. And a quiz in The Best Pub in Town sounded like the perfect reward to shake off the assignment stress.

As they reached the alleyway, they saw an abundance of takeaway shops, but none of them specialised in one particular type of food; instead, each one offered a boundless selection of greasy versions of pizzas, curries, Chinese food and falafel wraps. The smell was enticing despite the seediness of the alleyway.

“Are you sure this is the right street?” Finn asked Rose as he observed a squashed, empty pizza box on the floor which seemed to have an old sock inside it, or what he hoped was an old sock.

Rose rolled her eyes, “Yes, Jess said it’s on Gallows Alley, next to Fat Joe’s, right here” she replied just as they reached Fat Joe’s.

They looked in the window and saw a large, greasy donna kebab rotating in their view.

“I can see why they called it that.” Finn shrewdly remarked, observing the oily kebab. Rose elbowed him.

The concoction of rich smells made Rey hungry. After all, growing up in a foster care home meant that she experienced only so many takeaways in her life. In fact, the questionable hygiene ratings plastered on the doors of the shops didn’t put her off from gazing into the windows longingly.

Rey and Finn observed the kebab longer than Rose, mesmerised until they were both pulled away by her.

“Come on, you two, we’re here!” Rose ordered. The pub was just around the corner from Fat Joe’s and was the last building at the end of the alleyway.

The entrance to the pub had fairy lights all around it and two hanging baskets which contradicted the eeriness to the rest of it. The outside of the pub was painted in black and the sign was written in old-style golden lettering that almost made it look like something from Harry Potter. It was called _The Knight’s Sword_. It looked like a fairly small pub on the outside but once they walked in they realised it was quite big inside. There’s was a long entrance to the main part and eventually, they reached the bar area.

It seemed busy, but not packed and Rey saw that there were still some spare tables available. At the bar, there was a guy and a girl serving who greeted them as soon as they walked in.

“Hey, welcome! You guys new here?” the guy asked.

The three of them looked at each other and nodded. “Yeah, we’re first-year students,” Rose explained.

“Great! Always nice to have some fresh faces in this watering hole. I’m Poe, by the way, this is Connix…” the barman, Poe, said motioning to the girl with blonde hair, “we’re having a quiz tonight, you guys joining us?” Poe asked them, motioning to the main area of the pub.

“Yeah, that’s what we’re here for,” Finn said smiling. “Oh…I’m Finn,” he said, offering his hand to Poe.

“Nice to meet you Finn, and you two are…?”

“I’m Rey,” she said shaking both Poe and Connix’s hands.

“I’m Rose, nice place you guys have here!” Rose said, introducing herself too.

“Oh, we don’t own it or anything, we just have shifts for certain nights of the week,” Connix explained to Rose.

“Yeah, I’m actually doing a part-time PhD at the university, I have this job to fund part of it.” Poe explained to them as he wiped a beer tap, “That is, if they don’t cut more funds,” Poe added quietly.

Rey looked perplexed at that comment. “They’re cutting funds?”

Poe moved in closer to them, leaning over the bar; Rey, Finn and Rose moved in closer too.

“Between you and me… the Chancellor is trying to get rid of students with grant funding to save money. And will soon only let in rich kids so they can be future benefactors to the university. But we can’t do anything about it till we have concrete evidence,” Poe said discreetly as he dried a glass.

“How do you know about all this?” Rose asked Poe.

Poe got out a card from his pocket and placed it in front of them on the bar counter.

“I’m on the Students Union exec and we’ve heard rumours. We’re going to look into it, and protest if we have to. The SU is recruiting for students to help out. If you wanna find out more, I’ll come and find you guys when my shift is done in an hour.”

Rey nodded and took the card, “Thanks, we’d like that.”

“Great. Now, changing to a happier subject, what can I get you guys?” Poe asked them, flashing them another one of his welcoming smiles.

Rey asked for a lime cordial, Rose ordered a cider and Finn ordered an interesting cocktail from the specials menu with a name that Rey couldn’t remember. Rey and Rose tried not to giggle when he was given a swirly straw and a mini glittery umbrella to go with it.

Finn also asked Poe if they served food but Poe replied that they didn’t. However, they were allowed to bring in takeout from the other shops next door if they wanted to. They got their drinks and thanked Poe.

“Enjoy the quiz, see you guys in a bit!” Poe called to them as they made their way to a free table.

Rey took off her coat and sat down with the others. She admired the pub around her; each table and chair was unique. There were a lot of interesting decorations and random trinkets around the room such as paintings of abnormally large cows and Belgian beer mugs. It really felt like a traditional pub.

After ten minutes or so of the three of them chatting about college drama and assignments, a guy came around with a pot and some pens. The quiz costed one pound each, so they all put one into the pot each.

“Do you know when the quiz starts?” Finn asked the guy as he handed out pens to them.

The guy looked at his watch and replied; “The quiz master hasn’t arrived yet so probably not till another half an hour.”

“Thanks,” said Finn.

The three of them carried on chatting after they had paid. Soon, however, Finn’s stomach started to rumble loudly, interrupting their flow of banter.

“Guys, I’m kind of hungry,” Finn admitted.

“Yeah, me too,” Rey said, her stomach was rumbling too but thankfully not as loudly as Finn’s. She was hungry ever since she smelt the takeaway food on Gallows Alley.

“Me three, actually,” Rose added, “That pasta from college dinner was not enough in my opinion.”

“What about if I get us some takeout while we’re waiting for the quiz?” Rey asked Finn and Rose. They were going to have to wait a while before the quiz started anyway, so Rey thought it was a good idea to offer and not just because _she definitely wanted to try some takeaway herself._

“Do you want me to come with you?” Rose asked her.

“No, no. It’s only next door and it probably won’t take long,” Rey reassured Rose.

“Well, _be careful_, that alley is shady and Fat Joe’s is probably shadier” Finn warned Rey as she got up and put her coat on again.

“I’ll be _fine_! You just enjoy your cosmopolitan.” Rey teased smugly.

“It’s a _Raspberry Sunrise_!” Finn retorted defensively and took a sip from his straw.

“Same thing. _Anyway_, what am I ordering for you guys?”

“The falafel wrap sounds good to me,” Rose responded.

Finn thought carefully for a while and Rey rolled her eyes. It was as if he was deciding on buying a new car or something. Eventually, Finn decided on what to get. “Hey, could you get me a large meatball pizza but with the stuffed crust. Some fries. Oh, and some mayo as a sauce.”

“Ew.” Rose squirmed.

“What? It’s _good_! You haven’t tried it,” Finn defended, “Oh, and onion rings!”

“Okay, so… falafel wrap, large meatball pizza with stuffed crust, fries mayo and onion rings. Is that everything?”

“Yep,” both Finn and Rose answered.

“Great, see you guys soon.”

*

The takeaway shop was warm and stuffy when Rey walked through the door, a stark contrast from the biting cold that was outside. There were screens above the counter advertising all the takeaway food that was available on the menu. Rey checked to see if they offered all the things that Rose and Finn ordered and sure enough they did, with about ten other variations of them too.

“What can I get you?” the lady asked Rey promptly. There were some people standing on the end of the counter who had presumably already been served so Rey went ahead and ordered all the food that Finn and Rose asked for and then ordered a medium vegetable pizza for herself.

“Is that everything, love?” the lady behind the counter asked as she jotted down Rey’s order.

“Yes, thanks,” Rey replied and then paid for the order. The server said it would be about a ten minute wait for the food so Rey took a seat by the window since she would be waiting for a little bit. As she sat down, she scanned the room out of boredom and almost choked on air.

_Dr Ren._

No, surely not, she thought. But there he was, leaning on the counter waiting for his order too.

_What the heck is he doing here?_

Maybe he hadn’t spotted her, Rey hoped. They hadn’t interacted since the apology coffee. He probably was angry at her for trying to pathetically make up for her supposed wrongdoings. It would be _really awkward _if he did spot her. He would probably just glare at her angrily as usual anyway.

Rey noticed briefly that he looked kind of tired and grumpy though, well, more so than usual at least. He was also carrying a pile of papers. Rey stopped herself from observing him lest she accidentally caught his attention and instead concentrated on fiddling with her order ticket. This was one of those rare moments when Rey wished she had a smartphone instead of her crappy ten-quid phone just so she could look busy.

After what felt like an eternity of Rey attempting to keep her head down, another order was called and this time Rey noticed it was Ren’s.

Dr Ren took his order, carrying the bag with one arm while the other arm held the stack of papers. Rey hoped that he wouldn’t notice her on his way out. Annoyingly, however, the only free seat which she was sat on was by the door.

Suddenly, Dr Ren stopped in front of her just before he headed out. He stood there with his bag of food and starred at Rey.

“Rey… I….” he said, looking at her with surprise and confusion, clearly, he hadn’t spotted her earlier.

“Number 46!” the lady at the counter shouted as she held up the embarrassingly large bag of takeaway food.

Rey looked at Dr Ren and then at the lady holding her food up. Dr Ren also looked at the lady and the large bag of food and Rey tried not to cringe at how embarrassingly large her order was. _Thanks, Finn._

Rey quickly went to grab the food. When she turned back around, Dr Ren had already left.

*

Rey entered the pub again and tried to shake off the awkwardness from the takeaway shop along with the cold of the outside. She found Finn and Rose again and it looked like the quiz was about to start.

Rose waved at Rey. As she approached them, she saw Finn rubbing his hands together in anticipation of the food.

“We love you,” Finn said to Rey.

“Seconded” Rose added.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rey said, rolling her eyes but at the same time smiling at both of them. “Have they started the quiz yet?” Rey added.

“No but they’ve handed out the answer sheets so it’s gonna start in a minute” Rose explained.

Rey distributed the food out and they began answering the picture sheet which they had been already given as they munched through their takeout. There were pictures of various famous actors from sci-fi movies and they had to guess who they were for the first round.

Between them, they managed to answer all the pictures except one. Rose knew most of them as she said she watches a lot of sci-fi movies with her sister.

Each round of the quiz had a theme and there were five rounds in total. They did pretty well on the popular culture rounds but not so well on geography and sports.

When they finished, they handed their answer sheets to the Quiz Master to mark them and that’s when Poe came to join them at their table.

“How did you guys find the quiz?” he asked.

“Challenging but fun,” Rey answered.

Poe began to ask them about what they study and which college they’re from. They chatted a while about the pub. Eventually, the quiz master announced the winners and Rey, Finn and Rose came fourth out of nine teams. But they didn’t mind as they did it for the fun and not for any prize.

They began to talk about the university in general and Poe explained that he has been on the exec of the Students Union ever since the new Chancellor took over two years ago. Apparently, he’s been up to some shady business and Poe and other union students were set on exposing his malevolence.

“His recent evil plan is scraping these grant schemes for disadvantaged students.”

Rey’s eyes became wide open, “You mean like the Equality Scheme?” Rey asked.

“Like the Equality Scheme,” Poe replied nodding.

Rey swallowed uneasily; it was the only way she could afford to go to university. She sighed, “I’m on that scheme,” she admitted. She was going to tell Finn and Rose at some point but she didn’t realise it would be now.

“Me too,” Poe replied to Rey nodding.

“We have to get to the bottom of this,” Rey said to Poe.

“Hey, we’ll help too,” Rose said placing her hand on Rey’s arm. “Everyone deserves their place here.”

“Yeah, we’ll _all_ help,” Finn added, “this guy seems evil and I’m not letting him get away with it.”

“I’m glad you guys are on board, we need as much trusted help as we can get,” Poe said, “our first secret meeting is on Monday evening in the Union pool room. And our first task will be identifying other staff members who are scheming with him… and expose them.”

Rey nodded, swallowing her nerves that were reminding her of the risk of getting in trouble. After all, her education was at stake, anyway. If she was going to get in trouble, _then that would be just fine._

*

The next day was a sunny Friday morning. Rey checked for her post in the Willow College mail room. Each student had their own pigeonhole with their name on it. She didn’t usually get mail, but she ordered a second-hand book online a couple of days ago and it still hadn’t arrived so Rey went to check again.

This time Rey could see a small parcel prodding out of her box and she couldn’t stop herself from beaming. The thrill of ordering online never got old for Rey. She pulled out the small parcel excitedly. As she was about to rush out, she saw a card drop from underneath it. It looked like a fancy card as it had golden lettering on the top.

She picked it up and read it.

** _You are cordially invited to_ **

** _ Old Castle Formal on Tuesday 7th November at 7pm _ **

** _As Dr Kylo Ren’s guest on High Table._ **

** _RSVP to the Old Castle College Secretary by midnight tonight._ **

** _Please wear a black gown._ **

Rey almost dropped her parcel.

  
  
Chapter 5: Chapter 5

The winter darkness had already engulfed the daylight at half five on the way back from Rey’s last lecture. She sped-walked from the lecture hall back to Willow college, not only because she was eager to get home for the start of the weekend, but because she hadn’t told her friends yet of the invitation that she found early that morning and she had been dying to tell Finn and Rose all day. She knew exactly where Finn would be at this time, so instead of going through the main entrance towards her dorm room, Rey went through another entrance further down which led to the college library.

She charged through the narrow college corridor, narrowly missing bumping into people on her way, out through another door, across the college lawn and eventually she reached the Willow Library.

She tried to unlock the old door as quietly as possible and tiptoed into the main area of the library to find Finn. She couldn’t spot him downstairs which was strange as the back area on the ground floor was his usual study-spot, but the library was packed that evening so he was probably upstairs.

It was a very old library and the stairs to the second floor was creaky and always disturbed everyone whenever someone went up them. Rey carefully climbed the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible. When she got to the top, she saw Finn at the last desk of the row. He had his headphones on, bobbing his head to the music while studying. Rey walked towards him, until eventually she stood behind him.

She tapped him on his head. Finn didn’t turn around, instead he swatted her hand away. Rey tapped him again and he bashed her hand away as he continued dancing to his music at his desk.

Rey rolled her eyes, put her hand into her bag and took the invitation out, dropping it on Finn’s desk right in front of him.

Finn stopped bopping to read the invitation. He turned around in his chair at a 180-degree angle in bewilderment to look at Rey. Without taking his headphones off, he yelled:

“HE INVITED YOU TO FORMAL!?”

“Shhh!” the librarian who was organising a shelf nearby hushed Finn. All the students around them looked up and gave them a dirty look.

Rey glared at Finn too.

“Sorry!” Finn whispered to the librarian as he finally took off his headphones. Everyone else got back to their own business.

“_What the hell do I do!?_” Rey whispered to him.

Finn held a finger up. “We’re finding Rose,” he said as he began to pack his books into his bag.

*

“He. Invited. You. To. A. _Formal_?” Rose asked Rey, as they all sat on Rose’s bed in her room.

“Correct,” Rey replied.

“On _High Table_?” Finn added, reading the invitation for the fifth time.

“Yes! You _guys_, how many times do I have to show you the invitation? Can we please skip to the part where you tell me what the _heck_ I’m supposed to do!?” Rey begged them.

“Okay, okay. Let’s just try to find an explanation before deciding what to do. Maybe someone sent it to you as a prank. You’re not enemies with anyone by any chance?” Rose asked her.

“Well, I would have said Dr Ren,” Rey stated.

“That’s just more confusing,” replied Rose.

“Wait, it’s High Table, right?” Finn said interrupting, suddenly looking up. “I heard some students get invited onto High Table for academic achievements. But it’s extremely rare, and usually only postgrads. Did you get a high grade or something?” Finn asked Rey.

“I don’t know…” Rey said as she tried to remember her last few scores. “I mean I got an 86 on my last essay, is that good?”

Finn almost choked, “_You got an 86?” _He said, staring at Rey with incredulity. “I thought it was impossible to get over 75 as an undergraduate!”

“Wait, that’s a good grade?” Rey asked, frowning at Finn and Rose.

The two of them nodded at Rey with their eyes wide open.

“Uh, _yeah.” _Rose said.

“Anything over 80 is basically publishable.” Finn explained.

“Huh,” Rey said, looking at the invitation again. “Well I didn’t know that. All the essays I get back from him are covered in red pen so I always just assumed 80 was like mediocre or something,” she stated.

Finn and Rose didn’t blink as they stared at Rey.

“But why would Ren bother to invite me, given his character? Surely he doesn’t care about his students enough to reward them?” Rey added.

“I agree something’s not right,” Finn chimed, “I know Dr Ren’s behaviour too and this is way off.”

“Sounds fishy to me” Rose replied.

Rey just couldn’t figure out the reason behind this and it made her uneasy.

*

The secret Union meeting on Monday night was in the Union’s old pool room. Poe and another exec member of the Union ordered some pizzas and beer for the students who attended since some people would be missing dinner at their college.

The meeting lasted only an hour. Poe brought the new students who were present at the meeting up to speed with the shady behaviour of the new Chancellor who was hired two years ago and has spent every moment since then making as much damage to the university as possible.

Apparently, the previous Chancellor had made a lot of progressive changes but had to retire. The new Chancellor, Snoke, has been trying to undo those changes. The most recent change is scrapping the Equality Scheme which was set up by the previous Chancellor to make sure that kids in disadvantaged circumstances were given a chance to go to university despite their unfavourable odds.

The Scheme offered the disadvantaged kids slightly lower grade requirements, since usually, they wouldn’t be able to perform as well on the final high school exams as students from more privileged backgrounds with better educational opportunities. The university also paid for their tuition fees which costed the university extra money, but it was a sacrifice the previous Chancellor was happy to make.

Some people on the university senate thought the initiatives that the previous Chancellor brought were too radical and so forced her to retire early. Apparently, she has now become an outspoken politician. Rey had heard of the previous Chancellor’s name before; it rang a bell.

_Leia Organa._

Rey may have even remembered seeing her on the News once.

Poe explained that some staff on the university senate decided it was best for the university to begin distancing itself from Organa’s rebellious political stance. And so, they appointed Snoke as their new Chancellor who was already on the university senate himself and already had a great influence on them.

Now, according to Poe, the Union believes that Snoke is getting staff members to manipulate the Equality Scheme students grades and failing them unfairly to prove to benefactors that they perform poorly and to discontinue the scheme. But at this stage, it was purely speculation and they needed evidence to confirm it.

“Enough is enough,” Poe declared during his speech in the meeting, “This man has gotten away with too much and is manipulating staff members to cover his tracks. The next senate meeting is in two weeks and is our chance to prove to the governors all of his bullshit.”

“We need evidence,” Poe continued. “Get staff to uncover the truth and if they refuse, we’ll have to expose them too. Failing this, we protest.”

*

Rey looked at herself in the murky mirror in her dorm room; somehow, she couldn’t recognise the woman staring back at her.

Red lipstick, hair curled, a black lace dress that Rose lent her because Rey didn’t even _own_ a formal dress. Suddenly she felt like a little girl wearing high heels that were far too big for her. Maybe it was because she never had the opportunity in her life to wear a formal dress and heels, or had a parent to buy them for her in the first place. This feeling of uneasiness was mixed with the fact that she had to dine with her professor and former archenemy and had no idea how the evening would unravel.

Her reason was telling her to stay in tonight and not go to this stupid formal.

After a few minutes of psyching herself up, Rey got the courage to start heading out. She grabbed the black gown that she found in Willow’s colleges lost and found box and made her way outside.

She already regretted not bringing a spare pair of flats with her as soon as she stepped out onto the cobbled streets in her high-heels. Fortunately, the Old Castle College was only three streets down from Willow College and wasn’t up a hill like most of the other colleges of the university.

She arrived at the Castle, but there was a large archway with a porter at the entrance who was guarding the passage. Rey apprehensively walked up to him.

“Student ID please,” the porter said to Rey putting a hand out before her to signal that she couldn’t pass.

“Oh, sorry,” Rey said, as she rummaged in her small handbag for her student card.

She handed it to the porter as soon as she found it. The man looked at it and straight away handed it back to her.

“You’re a Willow student, access is only granted to Old Castle students and staff unless you have a guest invitation,” the porter explained frankly to her.

“Oh… I… I forgot my invitation. But I’m Dr Kylo Ren’s guest for formal tonight.” Rey explained anxiously.

The porter frowned at her in confusion and then pressed his hand to his ear where there was an earpiece.

“Hi, a young lady here is saying that she’s Dr Kylo Ren’s guest, but she doesn’t have invitation. Her name is…?” the porter said and looked at Rey for a reply.

“Rey Kenobi” she answered dutifully.

“Rey Kenobi” the porter repeated, “is she on the formal list?” he asked. Rey didn’t hear the reply but after a few moments the porter moved to the side and let Rey through the archway.

“Go to the main entrance, a member of college staff will lead you to the Senior Common Room.” The porter ordered to Rey.

Rey nodded obediently. “Thanks,” she said to him.

“Enjoy your evening,” the porter replied.

The knot in Rey’s stomach tightened, _I probably won’t, _was what her response would have been.

Rey cautiously walked through the archway, across the castle grounds to the what she assumed was the main entrance given it was the biggest door with steps leading to it.

As she went in, there was another porter who was waiting for her; he led Rey upstairs and then left her without explaining if she had to wait for anyone.

There was a loud noise of chatter coming from further down the corridor. But Rey could hear voices from another room closer by. She crept quietly to see which room she should go in to find Dr Ren. She hovered outside the room where the voices were coming from and could hear Dr Ren’s voice along with another voice. The door was slightly ajar, so Rey stealthily peaked in to see Dr Ren and the other red-haired professor she saw in Ren’s office during their meeting last month.

Rey tried to listen in without making a single sound.

“_Be careful, Ren,_” the red-haired sneered at him, “Show too much of your mother’s liberalism and Snoke will put your job on the line and your little identity cover-up.”

“I’m doing exactly what Snoke told me,” Dr Ren spat back at him. The two men glared at each other; it was clear they were in a heated confrontation and even clearer that they loathed each other.

“I beg to differ. You were supposed to fail her, not invite her to the Academic Achievements formal!” the red-haired yelled, “you disobeyed Snoke’s order.”

“I’ve already discussed it with the Chancellor, he’s agreed that we can use her for publicity.”

“We’re meant to get rid of the Equality Scheme students, not praise them and advertise the scheme!”

Dr Ren’s jaw clenched in anger as the other professor scowled at him.

“I _told_ Snoke about the girl. She’s too smart, if I failed her the Union would be on to us straight away. He said we can keep her for publicity.” Ren insisted

“You mean, _you_ convinced him,” the other professor hissed.

“He told me to bring her tonight.”

The other professor huffed, “I don’t know how you’ve managed to survive so far but carry on defying the Chancellor and you won’t last long here… and your little _secret_ will be out.”

Rey’s heartbeat increased as she overheard the two professors undoubtedly arguing about her. She decided it was best at this moment to move far away as possible from the door lest they caught her eavesdropping. She began to sprint as quietly as she could in heels down the corridor towards the noise of the chatter from the end of the hall. As the noise grew louder, she saw people dressed in black gowns walking into one of the larger rooms and Rey followed.

Her heart was still pumping at a hundred-miles an hour and her breathing was erratic.

The room was filled with elegant-looking people holding flutes. An array of old oil-painting portraits stared at Rey from every corner. Everyone was chit-chatting and laughing and going about their formalities. Rey felt completely lost. She didn’t even know if she was meant to be there or whether she was meant to wait for Dr Ren.

She began to feel overwhelmed from it all and decided to walk out, going down the corridor towards the large staircase from which she originally came. Maybe she could leave now and he wouldn’t have even known she arrived in the first place. As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard a voice behind her.

“Not running off yet, are you?”

Startled, Rey turned around. It was Dr Ren’s voice. He was standing there in a suit and full black gown, holding one flute in one hand and the other, he offered to Rey.

Rey cautiously took the glass and looked at him frowning.

“It’s cava,” Dr Ren explained, “we’re not fancy enough for champagne.”

“Seems all fancy to me,” Rey muttered back to him.

Dr Ren took a sip of his drink as he observed Rey. “Well, you certainly play the part tonight,” he said motioning to her dress.

Rey tried to ignore the blush that was creeping up on her cheeks.

“Why did you invite me here, tonight? I don’t understand,” Rey asked, getting straight to the point. Though she already knew enough from the conversation she overheard. The anger and upset she felt towards him was slowly burning in her chest. She thought about the Union meeting and Poe, and told herself if she could just survive a bit longer tonight, then maybe she could report everything to Poe.

“It’s the annual Academic Achievements formal,” was all that Dr Ren said on the matter. “Come on, let’s go back to the reception,” he said, gesturing to the room that Rey just walked out of. Rey half-downed her drink before following his lead reluctantly.

They walked through the crowd of people, but this time people made way for both of them. Dr Ren took her through to another room which was quieter and with fewer people.

An old man sat in a large armchair and stood up as soon as he saw Dr Ren and Rey walk in the room. He was wearing an expensive-looking suit with a golden pocket-square.

“Ah,” the old man said opening his arms to welcome them, “you must be Miss Rey,” he said with a slightly condescending tone. His face was contorted with wrinkles and his grin made Rey’s spine shudder. “Do you know who I am, Rey?” the old man asked even more patronisingly. His voice was grating.

Rey recognised him from the bust. “Yes,” she answered bitterly.

“Good,” Snoke grinned cynically. “Dr Ren has told me about your achievements, and when I read your profile, oh, I _insisted_ upon him inviting you.” The Chancellor put his hand on Rey’s shoulder. Rey fought every nerve in her body from shaking it off.

“I thought you must be special if you managed to impress Dr Ren,” Snoke smirked. “You’ll be a great asset to the image of the university.”

Rey stole a glance at Dr Ren; he was looking down.

She really wanted to leave now, she had never felt so uncomfortable in her life. Thankfully, someone rang a bell to indicate that the dining hall was ready and the crowd started to move out of the room.

*

All the Old Castle students who sat on the lower tables were stood up in front of their places waiting for the High Table guests to arrive in the dining hall last. The Chancellor, of course, was the very last to walk in and sat in the large middle chair at High Table. Dr Ren sat two places left of the Chancellor and Rey was opposite Ren.

The dinner was three courses; starter, main and dessert as was indicated on the set menu card that was on each diner’s place. There was even a name card with ‘Rey Kenobi’ on Rey’s plate. Of course, to her, it was all nauseatingly formal.

She was relieved that Snoke was busy talking to other guests on High Table and so didn’t have to engage in more conversation with him.

Rey sipped her soup in a comfortable silence that she was quite happy not to break. Unfortunately, however, eventually Dr Ren broke it.

“You didn’t have to come tonight, if you didn’t want to,” he remarked.

Rey placed her spoon down and sighed, “What choice did I have?”

Dr Ren clenched his jaw, looking at Rey, “I didn’t have much choice either.”

“Well, I’m flattered,” Rey muttered sarcastically; her annoyance was really starting to show and as the evening went on she was hiding it less and less. Rey took a few more spoonfuls of her soup.

“I’m sorry we haven’t had another Academic Advisor meeting.” Dr Ren stated eventually after another few minutes of silence between them.

Rey shrugged pulling a piece of bread apart, “I don’t really need one.”

“I know,” Dr Ren answered

Soon, to Rey’s relief, the main meal was served by the waiters after they took the soup bowls away. It was chicken breast with mushrooms, potato gratin and green beans. It was certainly more delicious and fancier than the usual college dinners that Rey got at Willow. Rey ate the main fairly quickly as she did with most meals in general; growing up in a large foster home meant that if you didn’t eat fast then you wouldn’t get much on your plate at all.

Dr Ren was taking his third bite of his chicken when he stopped to look at Rey’s empty plate in astonishment.

If she wasn’t so irked, she would’ve blushed, but she didn’t care at this point. She was ready to just finish her dinner and leave as soon as possible. After most people had finished their main meal, Snoke tapped on his glass with a spoon to make a speech.

“Good evening, all,” he began as he stood up from his chair and addressed the rest of the dining hall. “I’m sure you’re all aware that tonight is a special formal, it’s out Academic Achievements formal. Of course, being a world-top university we, as a university, maintain a level of constant high achievement. But what we also like to celebrate is the _crème-de-la-crème_ of our academic achievements here. Unlike what perhaps the Union may want you to believe, I celebrate all high-achievers whatever their background, even if they are from deprived ones. So, before I pass the word on to the Vice-Chancellor who will present on the students’ specific achievements and will also explain how the university’s academic score has increased this year, I would like to introduce you to a very _special_ guest this evening.”

Snoke turned to Rey and motioned for her to stand up. Rey frowned, but slowly stood up accordingly.

“Miss Rey Kenobi, mentee of Dr Kylo Ren of the English department. This young girl has achieved grades that are almost unheard of for a first-year student. But what is most admirable is that she was accepted on our Equality Scheme, as you see, Rey is an _orphan_…”

In that very moment, Rey wanted to bolt from the room, but she couldn’t as the room’s eyes were on her. She couldn’t believe she was enduring this level of humiliation. She felt like a show-dog jumping through hoops for the entertainment of the audience.

“Despite what the rumours have been telling you, we _are _an inclusive university. And it’s thanks to us that deprived students like Rey are giving a chance at academic brilliance.”

Rey sat back down. She felt her cheeks burning, this time not just because of embarrassment but sheer anger at the hypocrisy of the Chancellor. She knew she was the only one in her year on the Equality Scheme, despite Snoke pretending that there were more students in his speech. Poe told her at the meeting that Snoke had managed to reduce the number of students on the scheme each year without the governors noticing and that she was the only one left in her year.

Snoke then continued to talk for longer about the increase in achievements in the last year until eventually he passed on to the Vice-Chancellor to give a presentation. As soon as the speeches were finished, the desserts were handed out. Rey attempted to take a bite out of the chocolate brownie, but she just wasn’t hungry anymore.

She could feel a lump in her throat from the tears that were threatening to come but she managed to hold them back, for now. She waited for most people to finish their desserts until she planned to leave as discreetly as possible.

“Excuse me,” she said as she placed her napkin that was on her lap onto the table in front of her. Rey got her handbag that was hanging on the back of the chair.

Dr Ren looked up at her as she got her bag and stood up from the table.

“Rey? Wait…” he began as he watched her walk away from the table. She ignored him and went straight for the dining room exit.

Rey wasn’t exactly sure where in the Castle she was when she left the dining hall. She began walking quickly down the halls until she reached a porter. She asked him where the nearest exit was and he pointed to the door around the corner. Rey followed his directions.

As soon as she stepped outside into the cold, Rey could no longer hold back the tears that were lingering and she burst out crying. She took her heels off and began walking quickly across the castle grounds.

“Rey!”

She thought she heard her name in the distance, but it wasn’t close enough to seem real. 

_“REY!”_ she heard again.

Rey continued to walk as fast as she could into the darkness of the night.

  
  
Chapter 6: Chapter 6  
Notes:

(Content warnings – alcohol mention, swearing and brief aggression/intimidation by a group of minor characters which gets resolved.)

  
  
End Notes:

Hey guys! Thanks as usual for all your comments, I read each one of them and I'm very grateful you took the time to leave them :*

Lol kind of making up the university politics as I go along so bear with me (and forgive me) for the plot.

Also sorry for the somewhat angsty chapter, promise all the chapters won't be this angsty!

Have a great week :)

P.S. I hope I've resolved the issue of the fic appearing as completed - should now appear as a WIP (I hope!). I was having problems changing it earlier. Thanks to the people who flagged that up.

  
  


The moon and her stars sparkled across the canopy of the night sky. Despite being alone in the labyrinth of the dark castle grounds, Rey felt like she could breathe for the first time that evening as she looked up towards the sparkling heavens. Warm tears continued to roll down her cheeks as a bittersweet relief from her sorrow.

She felt the blades of grass caress her bare feet as she treaded across the green.

The castle grounds were large and Rey found it difficult to orientate herself in the darkness. After several minutes of searching for the right escape route, she reached a gate that lead to the main square of the castle. However, it was surrounded by a group of students. They were chanting loudly and holding wine and beer bottles and there was no way Rey could leave without passing through the rowdy crowd.

She quickly wiped her tears as she approached them. Rey attempted to walk briskly past them but one of the guys stopped her.

"Hey, where are you going?” the guy said holding out a half-empty wine bottle for her to drink. His breath reeked of cheap booze. “Why don't you join us?" he added.

"Let me pass," Rey hissed.

The guy smirked creepily, "Not until you tell us why you're upset. Come on, we'll cheer you up."

Rey tried to push past him, but he blocked her path.

"Just one drink with us?" the man insisted.

"No thank you, I’m leaving," Rey said, trying to remain calm.

The drunk guy snatched Rey's heels from her.

"Hey! Give them back to me!" Rey yelled.

The man laughed and swayed. He held up Rey's heels above her so she couldn't reach them. Rey tried and failed to jump up and grab them. Eventually, she managed to pull them from the guy’s hands. She wanted more than anything now to be back in her room.

“Please… just let me pass,” she pleaded. But the students continued laughing.

"_Get the fuck away from her!_" a deep voice shouted from behind Rey. The students stopped laughing and turned to its source.

Rey recognised the voice as Dr Ren’s before she even turned around. When she did, she saw that he was fuming with rage. His temples were strained and marked with veins and she could almost see the flames of anger in his eyes.

"What are you her _boyfriend_, old man? Little young for you, isn't she?" the drunk guy mocked, glaring at Dr Ren. The other guys laughed with him. Rey couldn’t believe that this night could get any more mortifying for her.

Dr Ren stormed up to the guy and grabbed him by his collar. "You _dare_ harass her or anyone else I will suspend you from this university. _Are we fucking clear!?_" he spat.

The guy didn’t say a word, but instead just stared at Dr Ren in terror. “We w-were… just offering her a d-drink,” the student stuttered fearfully. His face was overcome with shock; realising the man who was yelling at him was, in fact, a professor. Eventually, Dr Ren let his collar go and the student trembled backwards.

Quickly, the group left and began walking towards the castle.

After a few minutes, both Rey and Dr Ren were left on their own. A silence descended upon them and the only thing Rey could hear was her own heart still pumping frantically and Dr Ren’s erratic breathing from his outburst.

“Rey,” Dr Ren began once he caught his breath again. Suddenly his eyes became softer as he looked at her. “I’m sorry.”

Rey shook her head, more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I was _humiliated_,” she said very quietly through her teeth.

Dr Ren closed his eyes, “I know.”

“No. You _don’t _know.” Rey yelled through her hot tears. “I’m not an orphan…” she sobbed.

Watching her, Dr Ren reached into his pocket and handed her a packet of tissues. She tried to wipe the tears from her eyes and the make-up that had smudged down her cheeks.

“I’ll walk you home,” Ren said.

He watched her sigh.

“Please,” he insisted.

Rey nodded tentatively as she put the packet of tissues in her handbag. He opened the gate for her and they walked through it. They crossed the main square and eventually, reached the archway with the porter from earlier.

The streets were empty and eerie; not a soul had passed them as they walked down the cobbled pavements. Rey had no idea what time it was, probably no later than ten, but it somehow seemed later with how exhausted she felt and the emptiness of the town. The walk was silent; neither of them said a word to each other. Every second was unbearably uncomfortable for Rey.

She stole a quick glance at Dr Ren; he had his hands in his coat pockets and was looking down.

Soon enough, they reached the main entrance to Willow College and Rey had never been so happy to see its large wooden door.

Most of the windows of the college were dark. There was only a small light shining in the foyer of the college.

The bitter feeling in her chest returned as Dr Ren faced her in front of the door. They were a foot apart.

“Forgive me,” he whispered to her.

Rey stared at him coldly for a brief moment, she couldn’t read his expression. She was sure, however, that he could read hers; resentment. In that moment, it consumed her heart so that there was no room for mercy. She remained silent as he waited for her response, but it never came.

Rey unlocked the door and not looking back, closed it behind her.

*

“So Snoke’s using you for publicity?” Poe asked Rey. They were sat down on the sofas in the Knight’s Sword. Poe and Connix had finished their shifts. Soft guitar music was playing in the background as Wednesday night was acoustic night in the pub. Finn and Rose were also there sipping on two cocktails. They were all listening to Rey intently.

Rey nodded, “For now. He’ll probably get rid of me sooner or later.”

“Through Dr Ren, you think?” Finn asked.

“Well, I haven’t been failed from my other professors so I assume they’re not allied with Snoke. But Ren is. I overheard a secret conversation that he had with a red-haired professor… I can’t remember his name…”

“Hux?” Finn chimed, “I have him for Medieval literature,” he shuddered.

“Yeah, that rings a bell,” Rey nodded. “From what he said, I think Snoke is manipulating Dr Ren by threat. Something about exposing his real identity. And also about his mother, but I think that was just a ‘your Mum’ insult.”

“His real identity?” Finn asked, frowning in confusion.

Poe looked pensive.

“You think he’s a convict or something?” Rose joked.

Finn took it seriously though, “Shit, I hope not.”

“I doubt it,” Poe reassured Finn. “A separate employer group hires the teaching staff at the university and they do thorough background checks. It’s the Chancellor they should have done more background checks for, but he was hired by the Senate. And the Senate aren’t exactly the easiest people to negotiate with or the most thorough. Anyway, I’ll bring this up at the next senate meeting soon. Let’s just hope at least half of the governors believe us,” Poe stated.

*

The following few nights, Rey had trouble sleeping. She replayed the humiliation she endured that notorious evening at the formal and it made her toss and turn. One night, she even cried herself to sleep. Perhaps if she had a real home, then at least she could feel homesick. But she didn’t. She thought that this would be her new home, yet now she felt even more like she didn’t belong here and it broke her heart.

After a week, Rey managed to get over most of the humiliation she endured that night. But it changed the way she participated in classes and generally went about her days keeping her head down low.

In Dr Ren’s lectures and seminars, she sat right at the back. Fortunately, Finn was completely understanding and sat at the back with her despite expressing his initial preference for sitting at the front, like she did on the first day they met. Dr Ren had stopped picking on her weeks ago anyway, so she didn’t fear being picked on while sitting at the back.

During the lecture the following week, Rey got a text from Poe.

** _Hey, Senate meeting didn’t go well. Without official evidence we’re powerless. Need a new plan of action._ **

Rey’s heart sank as she read the text under her desk during the lecture. For the rest of the hour, she couldn’t concentrate.

*

The next few weeks, most of Rey’s social life was spent either at the Student Union or at the Knight’s Sword devising new plans with Poe and other SU members to save the Equality Scheme. Apparently, they’ve already cut a third of Poe’s funding.

Rey took part in the Union’s campaigns by putting up posters. Finn and Rose helped too when they had some free time. But Rey became even more involved and spent a lot of her time in between classes studying in the Union café.

It was her way of coping with her sense of lowness and “Imposter Syndrome” that she had been feeling recently. She became absorbed in her work with the Union as well as her academic work to ignore the emptiness in her chest that she now only felt at night when she had nothing else to distract herself with. In those lonely moments, Rey prayed for sleep.

*

“I have a new plan,” Poe said smiling optimistically.

Rey looked at him frowning in confusion.

“Well, it’s more of a suggestion,” Poe said handing Rey her usual hot chocolate. It may be a pub and he may specialise in alcoholic drinks, but Poe made a darn-good hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and extra cream. It was Rey’s favourite and it always cheered her up.

“You know how the exec term is coming to an end soon and we’ll be holding new elections?” Poe asked Rey.

Rey blinked at Poe, “_Yes_?” she replied hesitantly as she chewed on one of the marshmallows. She could see where this was going.

“You should run for President,” Poe advised as he pointed to the SU constitution that Rey was already reading at the bar counter.

“Absolutely _not,_” Rey asserted.

*

It was December. Rey was sat in her seminar for Introduction to English Literature. Dr Ren was teaching about James Joyce and was making a spider diagram on the blackboard. It had been over a month now since the infamous night of the formal. Rey had managed to avoid any interaction with him. He never asked her anymore questions during class, she was sure he sensed her resentment and kept a respectful distance. The seminars mainly consisted of assessed group presentations nowadays so she didn’t have to listen to his voice for most of the hour.

One of the groups had finished presenting on their topic and now Dr Ren was explaining narrative theory on the board. Rey’s eyes wandered to the noticeboard next to the door of the classroom. She cringed at the picture of her face on the poster which had been stuck on the board with a pin.

She rolled her eyes. _Dameron._

Ever since she agreed to run for the next SU presidential elections (most of the members had already nominated her to run), Poe had made an embarrassing amount of campaign posters against her will. And what was more annoying was that Finn and Rose were helping him. _How did they even find that photo of her? _It wasn’t even on her Facebook.

As her mind drifted to the overwhelming busyness that she had been experiencing during the past two weeks of the campaigning, suddenly Dr Ren dismissed the class. Rey had only noticed the class had finished when everyone started getting up and packing their bags. Rey shook herself as she was remained seated, still staring at the noticeboard in a daze.

She panicked and began packing her bag as quickly as she could, but alas, within a few seconds all the other students had escaped and she was left with Dr Ren on her own. Rey became tense.

As she stood up with her packed bag, she felt Dr Ren’s gaze on her. He was standing in front of her, leaning back on the desk behind him and was holding a piece of paper.

“I’ve marked your Defoe essay,” Dr Ren began.

Rey lifted her brow as he handed it to her. She quickly glanced at it and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the grade.

“You know, this could be published.” Dr Ren remarked.

Rey withheld any reaction. She only looked up at him, frowning. “How?”

“The National Literary Association is looking for undergraduate papers to publish. The paper would just need to be a bit longer. The award is a scholarship…” Dr Ren explained but Rey interrupted;

“And publicity for the university?” Rey added.

Dr Ren clenched his jaw. “I just thought…”

“Forget it,” Rey muttered, “I’m not playing the puppet anymore for you and Snoke. I’m too busy, anyway.”

Dr Ren looked towards the poster on the noticeboard that Rey saw earlier.

“You’re running for President,” he said, it was more of a statement than a question. Rey tried to decipher his expression, but he only looked into her eyes for an answer.

Rey sighed, “I have no other choice.”

Dr Ren’s expression softened, “Rey… I can explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain. I’m tired of feeling like an outcast because of the university’s injustices. And _you’re_ part of it.”

Dr Ren remained silent as he stared at her. It was Rey’s cue to leave. After all, she had nothing left to say to him anymore.

*

It was the second-last week of term. The elections were less than a week away and Rey of course, was on edge for the whole week. Trying to balance her academic work and her campaigning meant that she had less time to sleep than usual, but since she was still having trouble getting to sleep anyway it wouldn’t have made a huge difference.

Rey still managed to do all her assignments and homework, though, she was a little distracted and sleepy during her lectures.

It was Monday morning and she was in Dr Ren’s lecture. She sat at the back with Finn as she had been doing for the past six weeks now and had basically become their set seats.

Dr Ren was late that morning. He usually arrived on time, even precisely to the minute. But it was now six minutes past the hour and people started muttering loudly, wondering whether the lecture was cancelled.

A few seconds later, Dr Ren rushed through the doors. He placed his bag on the chair behind the desk and then stood in front of the desk.

The room fell silent.

“Before I begin this lecture, I have an important matter to discuss with you. Well, a few things to tell you…” Dr Ren began.

Rey sat up frowning; she had been leaning on her desk, doodling absent-mindedly on the spine of her notebook.

Students began to whisper and murmur to each other, intrigued. 

“There’s someone in this room I want to apologise to publicly. I hurt and humiliated you and I’m sorry. You know who you are and if you still don’t forgive me, I understand. But what I’m about to do, I hope makes up for the humiliation you endured at least, because I’m about to humiliate myself…”

Dr Ren was looking straight at Rey amongst the sea of students in the lecture hall. Rey's cheeks burned and she held her breath for a moment.

“I’m not who you think I am,” Dr Ren confessed to the entire lecture hall.

  
  
Chapter 7: Chapter 7  
End Notes:

Phew! Finally finished Chapter 7. As you can tell it was a lot more experimental this time with the pseudo-newspaper. I initially wrote out exactly what Ben says when he reveals his real name etc. but it just didn't quite sit with me and so I decided to try a little experiment with this new form and see how it goes!

Apologies as usual for errors and my clumsy writing, it was a speedy (and lazy) edit.

And thank you so much as always for your encouraging and motivational comments, they keep me typing :*

To be continued...

  
  


***

Rey read the Firgrove Press newspaper that was left on the table in the Coffee Nook. It had barely been _twenty-four hours_ and the news was all over campus.

She read the article as she sipped on her Earl Grey tea and nibbled on a tea cake in the café before her next lecture.

She still couldn’t believe it. _Leia Organa’s son? Poet Laureate?_

He was the last person she would have thought to be either of those things. But at least when Rey thought back to the conversation she overheard between him and Hux it started to make sense – at least the part about being Leia’s son; the threats and blackmail from Snoke, the reason why he had to follow Snoke’s orders in the first place.

But why was he removing himself from Snoke’s control? Surely, he could still get fired?

Rey remembered Dr Ren’s- _Dr Solo’s_ words from yesterday clearly:

_“Privilege has got me to where I am today. I should be the one to be ashamed. Honour is someone who comes from nothing and rises above their odds, excels in the face of adversity…”_

Rey flushed as she remembered the last part; he was looking right at her as he said those words.

Now that Rey knew, she could tell that he was a poet from his choice of words. Who knew someone so brooding could be so lyrical?

_“I’ve not always made the right decisions while being a professor here in order to protect my identity. Today I leave the past behind me and try to be a better professor…_

_“Some of you who have studied post-modern American poetry may recognise my real name. I’m also a Poet Laureate. But when I became a professor I changed my name for the political reasons I have already mentioned. I can assure you I won’t subject you to my poetry in this module…”_

Rey couldn’t help herself from smiling as she remembered the last part of his speech. She couldn’t for the life of her imagine the Grumpiest Man on Earth writing out heartfelt verses. The thought almost made Rey snort and choke on her tea.

She began to wonder what sort of poetry he wrote. Blank verse? Satire? _Love poetry?_

Rey shook herself as she felt herself drift into a muse.

Why did she even care about Dr Solo’s stupid poetry anyway?

She had a presidential election to win and that was more than enough to preoccupy her thoughts.

*  
On Wednesday evening, Poe had spontaneously invited Rey, Finn and Rose to his house for a dinner party as well as friends from the current SU exec team that he was on. Poe was the current Secretary of the SU so it was sort of a “goodbye-to-the-old-exec” dinner party. Rey had become friends with the other exec members too since becoming involved with the SU.

So, Rey, Finn and Rose made their way across town from Willow college to Poe’s house where he greeted them at the door. The three of them brought favours; Rey held a store-bought apple pie, Finn carried the cream and Rose brought a bottle of wine.

“Thanks, guys, you really didn’t have to bring anything,” Poe said as he indicated for them to come inside. “You’re actually early, most of the others won’t arrive for another half an hour or so.”

They stepped in and politely took their respective coats off and hung them up by the door. They made their way to the kitchen and placed the gifts on the kitchen counter next to where Poe was cooking up something delicious. There was a mouth-watering aroma of different herbs and spices and it made Rey’s stomach grumble.

“Delicious smells,” Rey commented.

“Thanks, I’m making pumpkin risotto,” Poe explained.

“Looks amazing,” Rose added.

“Tastes amazing too,” Finn said, already having scooped a bite on a spoon. Rose elbowed him and Poe whipped him with his tea towel. “Sorry,” Finn muttered.

Poe chuckled, “There are some appetizers in the living room. Actually, there’s someone there I would like you guys to meet…” Poe spoke as he tapped the wooden spoon on the edge of the pan and threw the tea-towel over his shoulder.

Poe led them through to his living room. There, on the sofa sat Connix and an older lady who Rey recognised from somewhere. _No… surely not?_

“Guys, this is Leia Organa” Poe motioned to the lady as she stood up from her seat. “This is Finn, Rose and Rey,” he added introducing them all to her. They each shook her hand politely; they were all star-struck.

“It’s an honour to meet you,” Rey said as she shook Leia’s hand.

“Poe has told me all about you kids,” Leia smiled at them. “And you’re Rey,” she said turning to her, “Poe tells me you’re running for President?”

“That’s right,” Rey answered, smiling to Leia.

Leia placed her hand on Rey’s arm, “You and I must talk later, I have a lot to pass on to you about university politics…”

“I’m going to get back to the kitchen, help yourselves to drinks and food!” Poe said to them and returned to cooking.

The rest of them sat down and conversed with Leia while munching on the appetizers that Poe and Connix had set out.

Apart from being star-struck from meeting a famous politician (whose policies she actually agreed with), Rey didn’t know why but she couldn’t help herself from discretely observing Leia’s face, her features, her eyes, the way her hands moved. It reminded her of him. It still didn’t seem real. That he was Ben Solo. That she was his _mother_.

After about ten minutes of small talk, Poe asked for help with something in the kitchen. Finn insisted on helping Poe. Later, Connix was showing Rose her collection of sci-fi movies upstairs and suddenly, Rey was left alone in the living room with Leia.

Leia moved next to Rey on the sofa.

“Now,” she began turning to Rey. “Tell me what that punk Snoke has been up to since he took my job,” Leia insisted.

Rey sighed, “He’s trying to scrap the Equality Scheme.”

Leia nodded sympathetically, “Poe told me about that.”

A brief comfortable silence fell upon them as Leia took some more olives from the bowl. After a few minutes, she broke it again.

“So, you know my son?” Leia asked.

Rey tried to read Leia’s expression as she wondered how much Poe had told her. Rey nodded at her timidly.

Leia sighed, “Ever since Snoke offered him that job, he distanced himself from me.”

“Why did he hide his identity in the first place?” Rey asked curiously.

Leia looked away pensively and shook her head, “He had a tough time growing up. Our family was always in the political spotlight what with my father and all his atrocities and then my career,” she paused for a moment as she sipped on her drink, “so, we decided to send him away to a boarding school where my brother who’s a monk taught. But that still didn’t protect him from it all. Even some of his teachers gave him a tough time because they didn’t agree with my liberal politics.”

Leia sighed again, “I should never have sent him away. That’s when I started to lose him. At least he immersed himself in poetry and academia so it turned out well for him… but he also began to isolate himself. Then Snoke offered him this job two years ago and he changed his name. I barely heard from him since,” Leia’s tone was somewhat remorseful.

“But you have now?” Rey inquired.

Leia nodded, “I saw him today. He told me everything about Snoke. He’s finally seeing him for what he really is.”

Rey looked at Leia intrigued and Leia smiled at her hearteningly. She placed a hand on Rey’s knee, “I don’t know how you did it… but thank you.”

Rey frowned._ Thank her for what?_

*****

Thursday, the second-last day of term, was election night. Rey, Poe, Finn and Rose headed over to the SU an hour early to help the exec set up the hall as well as the food and drinks. After Rey arranged the chairs, she went over the order of the Annual General Meeting with the current SU President who told her when she should go up for the hustings speeches.

Rey then sat in a corner and quietly recited her speech to herself. She had practised it over the course of the week at least twenty times but she was still incredibly nervous. What made her even more uneasy was that the AGM was going to be live-streamed and there would be a camera staring right at her as she would deliver her speech. It suddenly dawned on her just how big this night was.

The hall was decorated with flowers and forest-green bunting – the colour of the university. Poe installed the podium and microphone at the front.

Everything was slowly coming into place. Yet, the closer it got to the start of the meeting the more butterflies Rey felt in her stomach. Rose sat next to her as the others finished the final preparations to reassure her and give her a quick shoulder rub to help Rey to relax.

“You’ve got this,” Rose told her as she rubbed her shoulders.

“I hope so,” Rey replied.

As some people started coming in, Rey went to take her place near the other candidates at the front. It was agonising watching and waiting for everyone to come in.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the AGM finally began.

“Good evening, everyone,” Poe spoke into a portable microphone once the room was packed with people. “As Secretary of the SU, I will be chairing this AGM. I will soon pass the mic to the current President to deliver his final speech and annual report. The hustings and voting will then begin from there so I hope you’re all comfortable.”

Poe then gave the microphone to the President and he gave his final report on the year and a short speech to say goodbye.

As she listened, Rey tried to push her nerves aside and concentrate on the meeting. The next few minutes passed in a blur and suddenly, Rey heard Poe announce her name.

“Our first candidate, in alphabetical order, is Rey Kenobi who will now deliver her hustings speech.”

Rey stood up from her chair and walked over to the podium with her speech in her hand.

“Thank you, as Poe said, my name is Rey Kenobi.”

She noticed her hand was shaking slightly as she began to speak and placed it on the side of the podium. Rey breathed in and commenced her speech.

“As Austen once said; ‘_There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others.’_ The reason why I am running for President is because I am stubborn too and I will not let my voice go unheard. The injustices that have come about in this university have fallen on me and I will do everything in my power to let your voice be heard too. Despite the inequalities of this university, this place has become the home that I never had and never thought I would have and I will do all that I can to make it your home too…”

Rey looked up into the audience. The room was completely packed and everyone was silent, listening intently to every word that Rey was speaking. She saw that there were even people standing as there were no more seats left.

Suddenly, Rey caught her eye with a man standing at the back leaning on the wall near the door. It was Dr Solo. He watched her and she swore she saw a hint of a smile in his eyes. Rey tried not to stutter and continued her speech.

The presidential speeches could be no longer than ten minutes each and Rey had timed hers perfectly. She went through all the initiatives that she would implement in the SU as the new President which included stronger liaisons with staff and students through departmental meetings. But most importantly, Rey talked about her campaign to reduce the costs of being a student as well as pressurise the Senate into strengthening the Equality Scheme and forcing the university to be transparent about its spending. After listing all her initiatives and her ideas for the future of the university, she reached the end.

“The time for change is now. Thank you for listening.” Rey concluded her speech.

Applause instantly broke out among everyone and she recognised many students from Willow college including Finn and Rose stand up while applauding. Rey smiled at the audience.

Poe had to wait several minutes for the applause to die down to continue on with the next two candidates. Rey had politely shaken their hands and smiled at them when they first sat next to her before the AGM began. The candidates then delivered their speeches too and both got applause but it was clear that the audience’s reaction to Rey’s was far more positive. Nonetheless, Rey was still incredibly nervous and unsure.

After all the candidates had delivered their speeches, they all had to answer questions from the audience and some from Social Media. According to the constitution, each question had to be answered by all of the candidates. Fortunately, the questions only lasted around ten minutes and Rey managed to answer them as accurately and confidently as she could. Whereas, there were a few occasions when the other candidates struggled to give an answer to some of them.

After the Q&A, Poe announced on the microphone that the voting for the presidential election had opened and was live online too. The voting would last half an hour until they would announce the results.

In the meantime, the other current exec members gave reports on the work they’ve done for the SU this year.

Despite the clock ticking and time getting closer and closer to the final results, Rey felt strangely calm; she was relieved that her speech was over and she had done all that she could.

When the clock hit eight p.m, it was time for the results.

Poe returned from the other room and walked down the aisle with an envelope in one hand and a microphone in the other. He stood behind the podium again and in front of the camera.

“Thank you to those who are here and at home who voted. Now for the moment that we’ve been all waiting for…” he said opening the letter.

Rey swallowed nervously now, adrenaline began pumping through her veins and she placed a hand on her chest as if to steady it.

“The new Firgrove SU President is…”

The room fell completely silent as everyone awaited the final result.

“Rey Kenobi!” Poe shouted. Everyone applauded enthusiastically again. He immediately went to hug her where she was standing at the front.

Poe, Rey and other exec members then went to shake the other candidates’ hands and they respectively congratulated Rey.

After Rey said a short thank-you speech, it was time for a break in the meeting. The next lot of exec members had to be elected so there was a fifteen-minute interval. Some people started to leave since they only came to see the presidential election. Finn and Rose immediately ran up to Rey and hugged her tightly and Poe joined in again too almost squashing her in the middle.

“We’re so proud of you,” Finn said squeezing her shoulder.

“Thanks, guys,” Rey beamed at them. “It means a lot.”

During the break, the others then went to get some drinks from the bar; they insisted on buying a champagne bottle for Rey to congratulate her.

As they were gone to the bar, Rey briefly stepped outside for some fresh air as it was kind of stuffy in the hall what with all the people there.

She was on the balcony of the SU building which overlooked the river below. It was dark outside, but the city lights illuminated the banks of the river and the trees surrounding it and the view was breath-taking. She could see the Old Castle from the balcony too.

It was a hidden balcony at the back of the SU building which had a fire-escape that led down to the river and no one else was there which was a relief to Rey.

She listened to the gentle lapping of the river waves below her and leaned against the building. Rey closed her eyes momentarily, smiling in relief and contentment and taking in the cool, soothing air of the evening breeze.

Unexpectedly, she heard footsteps on the balcony and Rey opened her eyes again.

She saw Dr Solo leaning on the balcony opposite her.

“Congratulations,” he spoke.

  
  
Chapter 8: Chapter 8  
End Notes:

Thanks guys as always for the comments, I read every single one of them and I still can't believe I've gotten this much positive feedback for my trash writing lol.

Anyway, as a side note, it will be a while longer till the next update since Easter is coming up (and I have a few real-life academic responsibilities to catch up with too), so if you want to be notified when the next chapter is up don't forget to hit subscribe!

Happy week and happy Easter to you all!

  
  


Rey was tongue-tied which was silly because she had just delivered a speech to hundreds, possibly even thousands of people and she couldn’t think of one word to say.

“Thank you,” was all that she could eventually mutter. She stood up properly from leaning her head on the building.

The fluorescent light escaping from inside the door fell on Dr Solo’s face. His jet-black hair was slightly gelled and he wore a grey jacket over his shirt and tie. Rey could catch the delicate scent of cologne emanating from him in the evening breeze and it became stronger; more pungent, as he moved closer towards her.

He looked into her eyes fixedly. “I hope I didn’t startle you,” he stated, “if you wish for me to leave, just say and I’ll go.”

“No,” Rey insisted, “I mean, to either of those things…” Rey’s breathing became slightly shaky. She moved discreetly towards the balcony so that they weren’t as close and the scent of the cologne became fainter. Not looking at him she said; “Thank you, Dr Solo, for apologising the other day…”

Dr Solo laughed. “You know, if you keep calling me by my doctoral name, I’m going to start referring to you as Madam President,” he joked playfully.

She turned to him and rolled her eyes, “What am I supposed to call you, then?”

“Just Ben is fine,” he answered.

Rey frowned, her cheeks reddening.

Dr Solo smirked at her, “You’re still not going to call me that, are you?”

“It’s just weird…” Rey remarked honestly, she turned back to the balcony and watched the gushing river below.

Dr Solo scoffed, “What my real name?”

“No. Just… I’ve never called a teacher by their first name before. It feels unusual.”

Dr Solo exhaled, “You’re right,” he added and moved to lean on the balcony next to her. He looked out to the river as he paused for a moment; “it is unusual, you would be the first student to call me that.”

A silence fell upon them as they both looked out onto the view of the river and the glowing city. Rey picked a leaf from the potted plant beside her and played with it nervously.

“Why did you do that?” she blurted after a few minutes of silence.

“Do what?” Dr Solo- _Ben_ replied.

Rey threw the leaf into the river below and watched it pierce its ripples, “What you did… the other day?” She braved her gaze on him.

Ben turned to observe Rey’s expression, “Because you were right,” he replied.

Rey frowned, “But won’t Snoke fire you?”

“I’m not afraid of Snoke anymore.” Ben scanned her face with his gaze then he turned back to the view of the balcony, “And… you’re the most gifted student I’ve ever had.” Ben swallowed and brought his gaze back to hers again. “Rey…” he began, “I have something to tell you.”

Suddenly Rey heard Poe’s voice over the speakers coming from inside.

“_Rey Kenobi, please come to the bar_ _immediately_.”

Rey turned to look inside in a panic realising that the meeting would be starting again soon and her friends had probably been wondering where the heck she was. She noticed her heartbeats had suddenly become erratic and now the flight instinct kicked in.

“I’m sorry, I have to go-” she said to him as she turned quickly towards the door.

“Wait,” Ben called after Rey just before she stepped inside, “Can we meet tomorrow?”

She looked back at him, raising her brow.

“Two p.m, my office?” Ben suggested.

Rey nodded tentatively, “As long as I’m not in trouble this time.”

Ben smiled at her and Rey went inside to celebrate with her friends.

*

The next morning, Rey checked her mail in the post-room and brought it up to her room. She dumped her post on her desk next to her laptop and went to the mini kitchen on her floor to make some tea.

After she made her tea, Rey received a phone-call from the SU Secretary explaining that there was an incident she had to deal with.

As Rey grabbed her keys to leave she saw that she had left her post unopened.

She quickly tore the envelopes open and scanned over them to see if there was anything important. One was her monthly bank statement, another one was an advert and the third envelope was a letter from the finance office of the university.

It was her tuition fee bill for next term but at the top in bold letters was written “**PAYMENT SPONSOR CHANGE.**”

Rey began to read through it anxiously and frowned in confusion. It told her that her Equality Scheme grant had been cancelled by the university. Anger immediately grew in her chest, but then she saw that her fees had strangely still been paid. As Rey tried to understand all the financial jargon of the letter, she discovered that an anonymous sponsor had now paid all her tuition fees in place of her cancelled grant.

Rey was more confused than ever. She didn’t have any known parents or relatives who would pay her fees for her, so who could possibly be paying them?

It must be a mistake.

Then something occurred to her.

_Could it be?_

_Her parents?_

*

Rey wanted to head straight to the finance office later that morning but she was already tied up with her first duties as President. She went to the SU building after she finished opening her letters. It involved an incident which happened the previous night with the Old Castle College Rowing Team and a social initiation that had gone too far; it culminated with vandalism of the college’s cellar. Consequently, disciplinary actions had to be taken by the SU.

When Rey arrived at the building along with the Principal of Old Castle College, Rey recognised the captain of the rowing team who was in trouble as the brute from the night of the formal who was bullying her to drink and stopped her from leaving the castle grounds. Ben had told him off on the night as a member of staff, but now Rey herself got to watch the student’s face of surprise when he saw that she was the new President. And she now had the privilege as President of officially banning him from the team and having his Honours title comprised from his degree. Rey never advocated revenge of course, but she couldn’t help but feel relieved that justice had been served.

“You did well,” the Principal of Old Castle College said to Rey after the disciplinary meeting, “that was his second warning. He should be thankful we didn’t give him a worse punishment. I’ll keep an eye on him,” she smiled at Rey reassuringly.

The task kept Rey’s mind occupied from the financial letter that she received earlier that morning and from the enigma of her parents. But the thoughts soon came back to her. Rey headed back to Willow for lunch.

*

After a quick lunch, Rey walked down the cobbled streets and took the route to the English department that she was so familiar with now.

As she got to the building, she walked through the main entrance. It was the last day of term so the usual hustle and bustle of students were reduced as some had already started to travel home. Rey would be staying in Firgrove for the whole of the Christmas holidays, after all, this was her home now.

The students that were still around tended to stare at Rey as they passed her. This disturbed Rey initially as she became self-conscious and wondered whether she had some food from lunch on her face. She rubbed around her mouth to check that there was no pasta sauce left on the corner of her lips but there wasn’t any. Then one of the students smiled at her as she passed and said “Congratulations.” It finally clicked that it was due to her winning the presidential election the previous night.

Rey hadn’t forgotten that she was now President of course, but it still seemed so unreal that she hadn’t actually processed that people could now recognise her in the streets and on campus. It was going to take a while to get used to the recognition.

With her insecurity aside, she climbed the spiral staircase to the offices upstairs. She looked at her watch when she arrived at the top of the stairs and realised she was five minutes early for her meeting with her professor, so she decided to sit on one of the waiting chairs in the hallway near the vending machines. As she sat down waiting, she saw a strange figure emerge from the corridor of the offices and walk over to the water fountain opposite Rey.

She squinted and saw that the figure was cloaked in what looked like monk robes. They were a light-blue, almost grey colour, and Rey recognised the robes.

“Br. Kenobi?” Rey said without thinking. She memorised the pictures of him as a child since he was the founder of her foster home. Then she realised that Br. Kenobi would be long dead now and it was a stupid assumption.

The cloaked figure turned around to look at Rey. _Definitely not him._ _Good one, Rey._

“How did you know Br. Kenobi?” the monk asked, frowning at her.

“I’m sorry… I thought for a moment you were him… you have the same robes. But I realise he would be… deceased now.”

“Well, he has been dead for more than thirty years. But you didn’t answer my question?” the monk probed.

Rey was taken aback, how could she explain to a mysterious cloaked stranger her whole life story? “I… uh…” she sighed, “I grew up in the Kenobi Foster Home. I recognise him from the pictures, obviously, I never met him… Did you know him?” Rey asked curiously.

The monk nodded with a slight smile, “Yes I knew Obi-Wan, he was my master,” he said. “And you are?” the monk asked.

“Rey” she answered.

“I’m Br. Luke Skywalker.” After finishing his water, the monk began to make his way to the staircase, “I better be getting back to the monastery.”

“Wait,” Rey said without thinking. “Do you know if your monastery still has the records of the foster kids and their parents?”

Luke thought for a moment and then nodded, “They should be in our archives now. You can visit and ask for it. Here-” Then Luke rummaged in his pockets for something and produced a card with the details of the monastery and an address; he placed it in Rey’s hands.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he smiled at her, then left.

*

As Rey approached Ben’s office, she felt the strange feeling of butterflies in her stomach. She tried to ignore them and then knocked on his door.

After a few seconds, Ben opened it.

“Rey… Come in,” he moved to the side so she could pass and Rey took a seat opposite to him. She could smell his cologne again.

Ben sat down on his own desk chair, he looked like he had been writing something in a notepad. Rey waited patiently for him to speak first.

“I…” Ben began but then interrupted himself as he stared at the papers that Rey was holding on her lap. “What’s that?” he asked, changing the subject.

Rey looked down at her lap, “This? It’s a letter from the finance office. My grant has been cancelled. But now apparently someone else is anonymously paying for my fees.”

Ben shook his head, “I meant the card, I know that abbey. Where did you get it?” he inquired, frowning.

“Oh, this monk gave it to me about five minutes ago.”

“Luke Skywalker?” Ben asked her.

Rey replied, “You know him?”

Ben’s frown softened slightly, “He’s my uncle. He came to visit me just now. Why did he give it to you?”

Rey looked down timidly and sighed, “I’m trying to find my biological parents. The monastery has records of the children of the foster home where I grew up. Luke’s master was the founder of my foster home.” Rey fiddled with the card, “I… I think maybe my parents or a relative might have anonymously paid my fees. Well, at least that’s the only explanation I can come up with, otherwise, I don’t know who else would have paid them…”

Ben stared at her a for a few moments. “So, you’re going there?”

“To the monastery? Yes… well, I don’t actually know how to get there.”

“It’s in the middle of nowhere, you can only get there by car,” Ben explained. “It takes about an hour and a half.”

“You’ve been before?”

Ben nodded solemnly, “My old school was near it.”

“I see,” Rey commented and didn’t probe further remembering what Leia had told her. “Guess I won’t be able to go then.”

Rey tried not to show her disappointment, but it wasn’t easy to mask. She didn’t have a car nor could she even drive. She put the card in her pocket. “Anyway, what did you want to tell me?” Rey asked him.

“I- ” Ben cleared his throat and then looked towards his desk. “I’m- writing a new anthology over the holidays. But I need someone to read over it. Would you be willing? That is, if you’re staying in Firgrove for the holidays?”

Rey frowned, “You’re asking _me_ to revise your work? Don’t you have colleagues? An editor?”

“Correct. But you have an intuitive critical insight that not many have. Besides, I don’t trust most of my colleagues. At least not for this.”

Rey went quiet for a moment as she thought this through. _He trusted her?_

“Unless you’re too busy with your presidential duties? In that case, I understand.” Ben said.

“No, I can do it…” Rey insisted but hesitated at the end of her sentence.

“But?” Ben added for her.

Rey bit her lip before she responded, “_If_… you drive me to your uncle’s monastery?”

She knew she was gambling with her offer, but she really wanted to find her family records and this was the only way she could go to find them.

Ben pursed his lips and hesitantly considered the offer. After a long pause, he sighed. “Fine, when do you want to go?”

“Next Saturday?” Rey proposed, raising her brow expectantly.

“It’s a deal,” Ben stated.

  
  
Chapter 9: Chapter 9  
End Notes:

Fiiiinally managed to finish this chapter.

Here are some links that you may or may not be interested in:

[★ Pinterest board for Written in Chalk](https://www.pinterest.ch/wanderingbarks/written-in-chalk-fic/)

[★My WIC tumblr tag](https://jedihood.tumblr.com/tagged/written_in_chalk)

The 'eclipse' poem in this chapter is adapted from a quote from several gifsets that have been floating around Tumblr (in pretty much every fandom) - here is one from P&P <http://halfagony-halfhope.tumblr.com/post/153139547451/insp>  
There's also a reylo version somewhere but I couldn't find it.

Thank you as always for reading and being so patient!

  
  


“You want anything from the bar?” Rose asked Rey as they walked into the entrance of Firgrove theatre.

“Just a lemonade, thanks,” Rey replied handing Rose some change for her drink.

Friday evening was opening night and the place was packed with people dressed smartly for the final showing of _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ – Rey’s favourite Shakespearean comedy.

“I’ll see you in there.”

“Thanks, Rose,” Rey smiled at her friend and began weaving herself through the crowd to the entrance to the theatre hall. There was a steward at the door who checked her ticket and let her through.

The hall was old and grand and had antique red-velvet seating. It was another hidden gem in Firgrove that Rey had not yet discovered. The lights were dimmed and the stage curtains were closed. There was a low murmur of the audience chatting in anticipation before the play started.

Finn was the producer of the play which was performed by the English Literature Society. Rey was grateful that Finn and Rose got to stick around Firgrove for the first week of the holidays because of the play. Rose also helped the production team during the week to make some of the props backstage. Tonight was the play’s last showing and Rey and Rose had yet to see the final production.

Finn and Rose were both leaving tomorrow for the Christmas holidays as they were sharing a lift back home together. Rey would have to say goodbye to them tonight as tomorrow she was going to the monastery with Ben. She hadn’t told them about this, however (for several reasons), only that she wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to them in the morning.

After counting several rows of seats, Rey finally found her row and seat number. The play wouldn’t start for another ten minutes, so most people were still in the bar area ordering food and drinks.

Once Rey sat down, she took her jacket off and grabbed her phone from her pocket. It was probably a good idea to switch it off now in case she forgot later once the play would start. As she looked at the screen she saw that there was a message. It was from Ben Solo. They had exchanged numbers last week when she went to his office at the end of their meeting.

** _Meet you at 10 am tomorrow?_ **

** _Do you know where the staff parking lot is?_ **

** _-Ben_ **

As soon as Rey read the text her heartbeats unusually increased and she felt her lips curve into a smile.

A hushed voice interrupted her daze.

“Hey, I got us some popcorn to share, hope you like toffee,” Rose whispered to Rey as she sat down in the seat next to her.

Rey momentarily popped her phone back in her bag.

“Oh, I love toffee! You’re the best,” Rey murmured back to Rose, trying not to look flustered. She grabbed a handful of the popcorn that Rose offered her and placed the lemonade in her cup holder.

As Rey munched on her popcorn, she got her phone out from her bag again but discreetly kept it inside as she used it. She quickly typed out a reply to her professor:

** _10 is good for me. Yes, I’ll see you there. _ **

** _-Rey_ **

Rey switched her phone off as the show was about to begin.

The curtain fell and they watched with awe at the spectacle of one of Shakespeare’s finest.

Finn had done an excellent job as a producer especially considering it was his first time for a university production. At the end of the show, the cast and crew received a standing ovation.

Rey, Finn and Rose later celebrated the play’s success in the pub afterwards along with other cast members. Rey then said goodbye to them for the holidays once the three of them returned back to Willow college. It was a bittersweet night - she wouldn’t see Finn and Rose now for two weeks.

*

When she finally got into bed at the end of the evening, Rey flicked through Ben’s manuscript on her bedside table that she had been reading during the week. Most of the poems were Modern, satirical recreations of Ovid’s _Metamorphosis _which she had already made notes on_. _But there was one short poem that was scribbled in pencil on the back of one of the printed pages that she hadn’t seen before. She furrowed her brow and tried to decipher the handwriting:

** _ eclipse _ **

_you are the sun_

_bright and beautiful_

_the world needs you_

_i am the moon_

_constantly chasing you_

It seemed almost out of place. She wasn’t sure if he meant to include it in his manuscript or if she was even meant to read it at all.

Rey knew from years of studying poetry that you must never assume that the writer and the poet’s voice are necessarily the same person as the poet could be writing in persona and it may not reflect their personal life. Nevertheless, Rey was intrigued and couldn’t help but think that it was Ben Solo’s voice as it was so personal and raw. He didn’t strike her as the type to be pining for someone, but then again, he _was_ a poet. After all, it’s not like professors and teachers didn’t have lives outside of academia so of course, they’re entitled to relationships. But why did Rey feel a jealous sting as she read it?

She put the manuscript back on her bedside table and listened to the sound of rain outside her window until she fell asleep.

*

The next morning, Rey made her way to the university staff car park. It was a cold and dreary day so she put on her favourite woolly jumper and her winter coat. She knew where the staff car park was as it was right behind the Students’ Union near the river.

It was a three-storey car park and Rey had no idea where her professor would be. She didn’t even know what type of car he had for that matter which didn’t make finding him any easier. Would she have to peak in the windows of each car? As Rey stood at the entrance squinting at the different cars, she then saw to her right a tall figure. It was Dr Ben Solo. He was still dressed smart-casually even though it was a Saturday but he wasn’t wearing a tie this time.

He was leaning on the boot of a black Alfa Romeo smiling at Rey once she had spotted him. Rey inhaled nervously, clutching her bag to her shoulder and walked towards him.

_Why did she feel so nervous?_ Obviously, they were going to spend most of the day together so her nerves were probably anticipating the potential awkwardness of a silent car journey if they didn’t have anything to talk about. Though, she did have his manuscript with her which should provide plenty of conversation. After all, she had scribbled a lot of notes on it and would probably have to explain some of her comments.

Besides, even if they would exhaust that topic, Rey always had literature to talk about with him. He was an English professor. _Her_ English professor, she reminded herself.

_Crap_. What on earth was she doing? Spending the day in her professor’s car, going out of town with him to a monastery in the middle of nowhere. She tried not to fret at that moment about what would happen if _any_ student saw her getting into his car with him. Rey was the new President of the SU – people would recognise her and he was a well-known professor. She tried not to picture the headlines on the Firgrove Press. Rey shook her hesitant thoughts as she approached his car – she had plenty of other things to worry about today, like finding who and where her parents were.

“You ready?” Ben asked her with his brow raised.

Rey nodded, smiling and Ben walked to the passenger’s side opening the door for her.

“Thanks,” she muttered as she got in.

The car looked fairly new or at least still had that new-car smell. The inside was immaculate; Rey was worried that she had brought dirt in with her boots and tried her best to keep them on the mat. She placed her bag on the floor next to her feet; she didn’t bring much apart from her phone and Ben’s manuscript. He hadn’t said when he wanted it back with her notes so she figured to bring it with her just in case.

Ben got in on the driver’s side and revved up the engine once he put his keys in the ignition. They were both quiet for a few minutes as Ben reversed and drove out of the multi-storey car park to the main streets. Soon, he broke the silence.

“We’ll be there in about an hour and a half. We can stop there for lunch unless you want to pick up something on the road?” Ben asked.

“No, eating there is fine,” Rey replied. “Thanks again for taking me and… sorry for taking up your Saturday,” she bit her lip as she apologised, not daring to look at him.

Instead, Ben briefly turned to look at her and smiled as he was driving. He then looked at the road again. “It’s the least I can do. I am indebted to you.”

Rey shook her head decidedly, “No you’re not.”

“Well, at least for marking my poetry, then.” Ben insisted.

“Marking?” Rey chuckled, “How the tables have turned.”

“Okay, _critiquing_,” Ben corrected himself. He opened his window and his hair was blowing slightly in the wind. Rey felt the cool breeze on her face.

“_Revising_,” Rey asserted, “Your writing is far too good to be critiqued.”

“You could do better,” Ben insisted stealing another glance at her.

Rey shook her head again dismissively, “Don’t be silly.”

“Well, have you tried?”

“Tried what?” Rey frowned.

Ben turned to her again with a raised brow, “Writing?”

“No,” Rey replied, “I would love to be able to express myself like that... but I wouldn’t know how. All I’ve ever known is academic writing.”

Ben was silent for a few moments as they entered a junction and drove onto the motorway. Once they were on the motorway lane, Ben relaxed his posture, leaning back in the driver’s seat. “There are no set rules, you just need a pen and paper,” he explained.

“You and I both know from poetic analysis that there _are_ rules,” Rey said as she watched the snowy moors on the side of the motorway drift by through the passenger window.

Ben smirked, “Yes, but you can ignore them, especially if you’re a post-modernist like me.”

Rey rolled her eyes but nonetheless contemplated this for a moment, “Maybe… one day.”

The two of them chatted fervently for the rest of the journey about writing and poetry. Rey got out Ben’s manuscript and talked through her notes and read her favourite parts. But she didn't mention the short poem she discovered the night before. Ben put the radio on a low volume in the background as he carried on driving on the motorway. The journey flew by as they conversed with ease and passion about poetry and literature. At one point, he asked her what her favourite poet was, Rey was a little embarrassed to tell him that it was actually Shakespeare - as predictable and unoriginal as that was.

“I don’t think that’s a bad choice,” Ben conjected.

“You don’t?” Rey asked.

“There’s a reason why he’s the most famous,” Ben said.

“I suppose…” Rey replied though, she was still a little self-conscious and thought that maybe he was just saying that to be polite. Though Dr Ben Solo was far from the type to be subtly polite – Rey recalled their first interactions.

Then Ben began reciting Sonnet 116: “_If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved_.”

Rey snorted audibly, “You’re _such _a cheese.”

“Well, I am a poet,” Ben smirked as he shifted gear.

Soon they drove down a narrow country road and pulled up to the monastery.

*

When they got out of the car, Rey was grateful that she had decided to wear her boots that day as it had started to snow, already leaving a white dusting on the ground. 

The place was breath-taking and bigger than Rey had imagined. The buildings were original gothic architecture and looked like impressive castles from a fantasy movie. It was on a slight hill surrounded by forests of evergreens and bare trees hibernating for the winter. The grounds were frosted and there was a small lake next to it that was partly frozen. A winding path led them from the car park to the entrance to the monastery. Though there were several buildings, Ben seemed to know where he was going as soon as they arrived as he led Rey to the main building.

Ben took her to the reception where an old lady greeted them both.

Rey spoke to her; “I’m looking to access the Kenobi Foster Home archives, I was a foster child and I’m looking for information on my biological parents.”

“Ah yes, Br. Luke told me you might be visiting,” the old lady replied smiling at them both. “I’m afraid he’s out at the moment, but I will call Fr. Bede and he will assist you with the archives in the library’s storage.”

“Thank you,” Rey said.

Once Fr. Bede arrived at the reception to bring Rey to the archives, Ben told her that he would wait for her in the monastery’s café. She didn’t even realise there was a café here.

Rey then told him that she didn’t know how long she would be but that she’ll meet him there for lunch at one p.m.

Ben had brought a pile of papers with him from the car, presumably essays to mark while he waited for her in the café. Rey was relieved that he had something to do while he was waiting for her - she still felt a little guilty for taking up his Saturday to essentially be her chauffeur.

The monk led her down many corridors until they reached the basement of the library where they apparently stored Kenobi’s archives.

She held her breath as the monk unlocked the door. Finally, she was going to find out who and where her parents were.

*

An hour had passed and Rey wasn’t getting very far with finding her records. There were so many files and the monks hadn’t transferred the files to their computer database until 2001 so all the foster children born before that year only had the physical copies of the records (and there was no quick search tool for that). Fr Bede tried to help Rey for the first twenty minutes by pointing her in the right direction, but he then had to leave for midday prayer. Rey told him not to worry and that she would be able to manage on her own. But now it was getting to one o’clock and her tummy was rumbling.

She hoped Ben wasn’t getting too bored in the café marking all this time. She wanted to keep looking for her records not only for her own interest but so that she didn’t take up more of her professor’s Saturday. Rey sighed in defeat and eventually decided to head to the café where Ben was to meet him for lunch. It would do her no good to carry on sifting through endless folders on an empty stomach.

Rey climbed the stairs up to the ground floor of the library and then out towards the main corridors. She was greeted with bright lights from the window. When her eyes adjusted from the change in light from the dark basement, she realised that it had been snowing even more heavily as she looked out of the windows of the monastery. Everything outside was covered in a thick blanket of snow. Rey had never seen this much snow in her entire life.

She found her way to the reception again and asked the old lady for directions to the café and she pointed her to a smaller building outside.

Rey trudged her way through the fresh snow and followed the signs that pointed towards the monastery’s café. When she entered she tried to shake off the snow on her boots and coat.

There weren’t many people in the café. An elderly couple were eating lunch together along with another family, and then Ben was sat in a corner still marking some papers. When the bell on the café door rang as Rey entered, he looked up at her in surprise.

Rey walked over to him.

“Any luck?” Ben asked her, he moved his papers on the table to make room for her.

Rey slumped down in her chair dejectedly. “No,” she sighed. “There are so many files it’s taking me a lot longer than I thought.”

Ben pursed his lips, “Do you want me to help?”

“No… thank you. You’ve already done more than enough for me. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Don’t be. I’m getting through plenty of marking and the coffee here is excellent. There’s no rush. In fact, they’ll have to salt the roads and the highway because of the snow so we wouldn’t be able to leave soon anyway,” Ben reassured her.

Rey was relieved to her that she wasn’t keeping him.

Ben began packing his papers back into his bag. “Let’s get some lunch,” he said to her nodding to the counter of the café.

Rey tried to hide her feeling of disappointment and braved a smile. “Yeah, good idea.”

They got up and walked towards the counter. Ben ordered a sandwich and some soup and Rey asked for the same; her mind was elsewhere, still rummaging through the archives to think about her food choice. As she waited to pay after Ben, she saw that he had already paid for her and she groaned at him. She wasn’t going to let him get away with that, he already did enough for her as it was today.

“Let me pay you back,” Rey said as she handed him money for her lunch when they both sat down back at the table.

“How about you buy us the desserts?” Ben proposed dismissing her cash.

“_Fine_,” Rey rolled her eyes, but her lips curved into a small smile. She had to admit the soup was so tasty that it was a warm, comforting distraction from finding her family records.

As usual, she finished her lunch fairly quickly as she was quite hungry once she began eating. Rey had also left Ben’s manuscript with her comments to him before she went to the archives and he told her that he had been reading her notes between breaks of marking. They continued talking while Ben finished eating and then Rey got up and bought two slices of red velvet cake for them. After lunch, Rey told Ben that she was going to go back to the archives and continue to search for her records.

“Take as much time as you need,” Ben reassured her.

*

It was now half four in the afternoon. Rey’s bun had become messy from putting her hands in her hair so many times over the past few hours after searching through so many documents. She nearly wanted to cry out of frustration, she had come all this way to find out such an important part of her life; something that was bothering her since she could remember.

She wanted to find them so badly; to know for sure that her assumption was correct - that her parents were the anonymous sponsor of her university fees. That they wanted to build a relationship with her, their daughter. To tell them that she was now the President of the SU. That she was averaging a high first in her grades and that her professor wanted to publish her work. That she had a full life in Firgrove and had the best friends she could ever ask for.

And more than anything -_ to have a family._ But all of that wouldn’t happen if she couldn't find her records.

Rey sighed and dropped the folder she had briefly been examining on the floor miserably. As she did so, a smaller blue file slipped out.

And it had her name on it.

*

Rey clutched the file to her chest as she climbed up the basement stairs for the last time. She didn’t want to open it there. The anticipation had been too strong that she was scared to open it so suddenly. Besides, she didn’t want to hold Ben up any longer and it was probably already dark outside. She would open it when she got home, she had decided.

When Rey stood outside, she realised that it had been snowing even more heavily and had almost reached the top of her boots. She attempted to wade through it as quickly as possible back to the café, but when she arrived, the café was closing and the waitress was moping the floor. Rey asked her where the man who was sitting in the corner was and the waitress replied that he might have headed outside somewhere.

Rey frowned. The only place she could think of that he could be was his car. So, she made her way to the car park, the way they had originally come, and found Ben scraping the heavy snow off his car. The black car was almost completely buried in white.

Ben saw her approach; “I'm afraid the car won’t start and they haven’t finished de-icing the roads.” He explained to her as he scraped more snow off the front window.

“Oh,” was all that Rey could reply. This didn’t sound good.

“Did you find your record?” Ben asked, suddenly seeing the file in her hands.

“Yes, though I haven’t opened it yet.” Rey looked at the snow-covered car again and frowned, “How are we going to get back to Firgrove?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to phone the RAC service.” Ben said as he got his phone out. He turned to Rey again, “You’ll get cold out here. Go to the reception and ask to stay in the living room of the guesthouse while you wait. There’s a fireplace there. I’ll find you when I have an update.”

“Are you sure?” Rey shivered. It was pretty freezing and a fireplace did sound appealing – as well as a room to herself to read her file.

“Yes, I won’t be long” Ben reassured her.

*

Rey’s heart was beating quickly from her nervous anticipation to see her family records. She was sitting on a large, comfy sofa in front of the roaring fireplace. She was in the monastery’s guesthouse where pilgrims and lay guests stayed; it was a cosy little house secluded in the woods from the rest of the monastery. It was almost pitch-black outside as the winter days were short, but she could still see the snow falling heavily in the dark.

Rey opened the file.

She skim-read the first page which was her hospital registry information; how much she weighed as a baby, her birth name, etc. She skimmed down to the bottom section where there was information about the child’s parents.

** _Reason for abandonment – unwanted child._ **

** _Parents express wish to have no future contact with the child._ **

As Rey read those words, she felt like her lungs could no longer hold her breath. But that wasn’t all, as she flicked through more pages, she found copies of two death certificates of her biological parents dated a few years after her birth. Rey stared at the information for several minutes in shock followed by an aching sorrow.

Suddenly, the door of the guesthouse creaked open and Ben walked through with snow falling from his coat and shoes.

“Looks like we’re going to have to stay here for the night,” he stated with an uneasy tone.

But when Ben looked at Rey, sitting by the fireplace, he saw the tears that were streaming down her cheeks and her muffled sobs.

“Rey?” Ben said with concern, “What’s wrong?”

  
  
Chapter 10: Chapter 10  
End Notes:

To be continued >:)

So... I've finally planned out the rest of this fic and the ending and I'm hoping it won't be too long until we get to the crux of the story (she says). I'm also planning the next fic after this one which I'm SUPER excited about (but trying not to get too excited about it as I want to finish this one). You'll hear about it in due course. Anyway, thank you all for the comments as always - they keep me writing! :*

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Rey couldn’t find her voice to explain, she only shook her head in dismay. She was staring at the flames of the fire and her tears shone in their glow. She hadn’t even noticed that Ben had walked over to her until he sat down next to her on the sofa.

Not looking at him, she handed him the document, open on the page that she had read.

“I guess Snoke was right, I am an orphan.”

Her own words even stung her as she said them out loud. Ben was silent as he took in the information from the file, then he looked at Rey again. The light of the flames flickered on Ben’s wet hair from the melting snow from outside. Rey could see the fire’s reflection in his deep, dark eyes; burning with compassion.

“Rey,” he whispered with a surprising gentleness which she was beginning to get more and more familiar with, “You deserve so much more than this.”

As Rey heard those words, her eyes watered again. But this time, it was more of a cathartic release. His words were surprisingly comforting - a few months ago, she would have never considered her sullen professor to be this gentle with her.

Despite the heat of the roaring fire, the cold draft that had entered the room a few moments ago still hadn’t left.

“You’re shivering,” Ben told her. Rey hadn’t even noticed that she was cold; she couldn’t tell what were cold shivers or trembles from shock anymore. She had hung her wet coat on the radiator to dry and the sleeves of her jumper were rolled up, uncovering her arms.

Ben’s hand barely ghosted over her bare arm and then he withdrew it, thinking better of it.

He got up from the sofa, “I’ll find you a warm blanket upstairs.”

Rey held back further tears. “Thank you,” she muttered to him and the corners of her lips curved into a small smile.

After a few minutes, Ben returned carrying a grey blanket. He wrapped it around Rey, as he stood behind her on the sofa. He was very careful not to touch her as he did so. He walked around the sofa and then sat next to her again. This time he had taken his coat and blazer off. Rey could almost feel the warmth emanating from him and she could smell his musky scent of cologne that she no longer found pungent, but soothing and familiar.

“So, we’re stuck here?” Rey’s voice quivered once Ben had settled back onto the sofa. She felt so fragile at that moment, but she clung to the blanket now; feeling its softness and warmth embrace her.

Ben nodded apologetically, “I’m afraid so,” he said, “There was a tree that fell down and blocked the road to the monastery. They said they wouldn’t be able to clear it until two in the morning because the highway is blocked by traffic. It’s better to get some sleep than drive late.”

Rey nodded, “That sounds like a good idea.”

Perhaps it would help her to process the information. She didn’t know if she could go back to her dorm room and deal with the truth on her own - especially without Finn and Rose to comfort her.

She wasn’t sure whether staying in the same guesthouse with her professor was any better either, but she’d rather they travel after they got some sleep – and not get up at two in the morning.

Suddenly, Ben placed something in Rey’s hand.

“This is the key to your room,” he explained.

“Thanks,” she said, observing it and giving him another small, but grateful smile.

She quietly watched the snow flurrying outside the window with an absent expression of despair. Then, she turned to Ben.

“What’s it like having parents?” she asked him after a quiet moment.

Ben almost stiffened at the question. She gulped, worrying that she asked something too personal as he remained quiet for a long moment. But when he finally did speak, his voice remained gentle.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you much. I spent a lot my childhood in boarding schools.” Ben explained. He watched the fireplace thoughtfully; his jaw clenched.

Rey bit her bottom lip, “How old were you when they sent you to boarding school?”

“Six,” Ben muttered.

“But you got to see them in the holidays?”

“Not really, they were travelling a lot because of their jobs. So, I had to stay at the school with my uncle. But I wasn’t close with him, at least back then he kept a distance. He thought it was best since he was a teacher at the school. In my opinion, you haven’t missed out on much…”

Rey hugged her blanket closer to her. _He knew what a lonely childhood was._

“Why did you want to find out who your parents were?” Ben asked her after some time.

Rey’s lip began trembling again, “I thought I’d find them here… I was wrong.” Her tear-dropped eyes fluttered downwards. They both remained quiet for a few minutes until Rey spoke again.

“I’ve never felt so alone,” she admitted, barely breaking the silence

Ben stared into her eyes, “You’re not alone,” he said - his voice was deep and comforting.

Rey raised her gaze and held her breath, “Neither are you,” she replied.

Without thinking, Rey slid her hand forward on the seat of the sofa. She hadn’t even noticed she had done so until she felt a gentle hand on hers. The tips of Ben’s fingers touched hers ever so delicately. Rey drew her breath in again and they looked at each other for a fleeting moment. Then Ben gently withdrew his hand.

At that moment, Rey felt her heart flutter and her brain swimming in a mixture of emotions that she couldn’t comprehend. Yet, as Ben moved his hand away, the emptiness in her chest returned.<strike></strike>

Rey sighed, “I suppose, somehow I always knew… about my parents. I just wanted to hold onto a false hope. When I saw that someone else was paying my university fees, that false hope that has been kindling over the years returned.”

Ben swallowed and sat up, “Rey…” he began attentively.

But then the door to the guesthouse opened, cutting their conversation off with the howls of the cold winds from outside. A small, elderly nun walked in.

“Terribly sorry to interrupt,” the nun spoke, “Fr. Bede sent me to get you two settled into the guesthouse.” She walked through the door, carrying a basket which was covered in snow. The Sister briefly observed the two of them and then wiped her feet on the mat.

Rey sat up and quickly tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks as discreetly as possible feeling slightly self-conscious. They were both startled by the sudden interruption. Ben immediately stood up and offered to take the nun’s basket from her.

“Thank you, dear,” the old nun said to him. “There are some fresh towels and dressing gowns in there for you both. I’ll show you to your rooms and explain how the showers work.”

*

The nun led them both to the bedrooms upstairs and showed them around the guesthouse. Rey’s room was on the other side of the corridor to Ben’s so that they each had their own shower. There was no one else staying in the guesthouse apart from them. After the nun showed them around, it was time for dinner. They ate in the dining hall for the staff and guests.

Br. Luke joined them for dinner, even though he would usually be eating with his community brothers in their separate refectory. Both Rey and Ben were fairly quiet during the meal; Rey was quiet because she had little emotional energy left to engage in small conversation – but she didn’t know why Ben was so quiet. It was mainly Br. Luke making most of the effort to talk. But once he asked Rey if she managed to find her records, Ben shook his head at him in a subtle gesture.

“No, it’s okay,” Rey said to Ben, “I don’t mind talking about it,” she reassured them both. “My parents died not long after I was born… they abandoned me.”

Br. Luke gave her a sympathetic look and placed a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry to hear that,” he said. “Do you know how?”

Ben glared at his uncle again, but Rey ignored it.

“Yes…” Rey glanced down at her plate of warm stew, “In a car crash… due to drunk-driving.”

She had seen it on her family records earlier but hadn’t paid much attention to the detail of their death. Rey didn’t think it was very important so she was a little puzzled as to why Br. Luke asked.

“Well, at least you know it was for the best that they weren’t your guardians then,” Luke stated frankly as he put his wine glass down.

“I agree,” Ben chimed – which basically was his first vocal interaction that evening in the presence of his uncle.

Rey frowned at them both, “What do you mean?”

Luke wiped his mouth with his napkin before he spoke, “Perhaps in this way you were saved,” he said.

Rey still looked confused at what they meant.

Then Ben finished for him; “From living with difficult parents and the car crash.”

Rey’s brow relaxed in sudden realisation, “Oh,” she said quietly. “I hadn’t… even thought about it… like that.”

It hadn’t occurred to her until that moment that if her parents hadn’t abandoned her, it was very likely that she would’ve died with them in that car crash. It was still a difficult and painful truth to swallow, that her parents weren’t who she thought they were and that they hadn’t even _wanted _her. But this perspective made her see the truth in a new light; a less painful one. That by giving her up to foster care, she was not only given a chance to live a better life but _to live. _Even if their intention was a selfish one, Rey wasn’t fated to die with them. And she had a much better life because of it.

“That actually makes me feel a bit better,” Rey said to them. “Thank you.”

“If there is anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable here, let me know.” Luke smiled at her, placing his hand on her shoulder again.

*

The next morning, the guest dining hall was closed due to the snow and lack of staff, so Rey and Ben had to have an extremely early breakfast with the monks in their refectory before morning prayer and mass. Rey was surprised she was awake enough to remember her own name; she had no idea how the monks managed to have this routine every day.

When they finally left after the fallen tree and snow was cleared, Rey slept for the entire car journey back to Firgrove.

She was extremely embarrassed when Ben had to wake her up once they arrived.

“Rey?” Ben said softly, turning to look her from the driver’s seat.

“Mmm,” Rey mumbled sleepily.

“Rey, we’re here.”

“What?” Her eyes fluttered open in a dazed surprise and she found herself in a car – her _professor’s _car – and had been fast asleep. Out of all the mortifying things to happen in her life, this was definitely in the top ten.

“Oh, I- I fell asleep,” she muttered.

Ben chuckled, “I know, you were out after the first five minutes of the journey.”

“Oh gosh… I’m so _embarrassed_,” Rey said covering her face with one hand as it slowly turned pink.

“Don’t be, we got up at five and I had an espresso,” Ben said but he was still smiling at her, amused.

Rey sat up in her seat and tried to rub her eyes trying to work out where the heck they actually were. Ben got out of the car and opened the door for her. When she stepped outside, she realised they were only a street away from Willow college. Obviously, he couldn’t have dropped her off right in front of her college – they were sure to get some suspicious looks from the receptionist.

After collecting her bag, Rey got out of the car and stood facing Ben.

“Thank you… for everything.” she began, “For driving me there, for comforting me. And I’m sorry you got stuck there because of me.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Ben said, “I owe it to you, for the way I first treated you… and for all that you’ve been through.”

Rey shook her head, “Ben…” she began protesting, glaring at him. But Ben interrupted;

“_Besides_,” he retorted, “I got a lot of marking done and… awake or asleep, you make good road-trip company.”

Rey blushed, “Thanks, I enjoyed our chats too.”

“Will you be okay?” Ben asked.

“Yeah,” Rey replied, “it will take me a few days to process it all, but I already feel a bit better about it.”

Ben smiled, “I’m glad. So, I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, see you around.”

*

The winter days in Firgrove passed by as quickly as the snow was falling. Rey spent most of her time in cafes or the library catching up on some reading or writing emails for the SU. Some evenings she went to see Poe and Connix in the pub either for the quiz night or the acoustic nights. Even the Knight’s Sword was quieter with the students away and with the snow keeping people inside their warmer houses. The town was frozen; quiet and wintery as a snow dome.

As the days went on, Rey had gradually processed the truth about her parents. She had long conversations with Poe and Connix about it in the pub and with Finn and Rose over skype. Rey was grateful she had her friends to comfort her too. One thing neither her nor her friends could work out was who was paying her university fees.

Finn and Rose also offered Rey to join each of their families for Christmas but Rey politely declined as she was happy to stay in Firgrove for the holidays as it was easier for her to get ahead with her SU work.

Christmas was fast approaching, though Rey hadn’t even realised as the days seemed to have blurred into one. Poe and Connix said they would be out of town at their families’ houses for Christmas and Boxing Day which meant that a Christmas on her own seemed more likely for Rey.

That was, until Professor Holdo, the Principal of Old Castle college who had already helped Rey during her first SU meeting, invited Rey for lunch on Christmas Day at the castle. It seemed it was a tradition every year for the Old Castle college to host any students who were left in Firgrove to join the remaining staff for a Christmas lunch. It was nice to know that she would be getting a decent meal that day.

Rey hadn’t seen Ben, her English professor since he last dropped her off a week ago after their trip to the monastery. It felt sort of odd how she had gotten used to seeing him so often throughout the week, and then to share so much of her personal life with him at the monastery, and now she hadn’t seen him around town at all. But Rey kept herself busy every day with SU emails and reading. She even had some time to read some contemporary fiction after visiting the bookshop one afternoon, instead of buying second-hand classics for her studies as she usually would. Despite feeling a little bit lonely from time to time, Rey was developing a solitary routine that she was quite content with. At the end of the day, she had Poe, Connix and her books to keep her company until term started again.

*

On Christmas morning, Rey woke up in a massive fluster; sweating, despite the cold December-temperatures and the frost spreading on the windows.

Rey got up and stared at herself in the mirror above her sink after splashing her face with cold water.

In her strange dream, she had _kissed_ Ben Solo in his office. But the cold water couldn't wash off the dream; it burned in her memory.

  
  
Chapter 11: Chapter 11  
End Notes:

Thanks for reading! This chapter was a little rushed so apologies as always for errors.

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On Christmas morning, Rey was at Firgrove Cathedral with Professor Holdo. The cathedral pews were packed full of townspeople and there was a low murmur of whispering that echoed around the stone building as everyone waited for the Christmas mass to begin. Rey was stood at the back of the cathedral in an organised line behind Professor Holdo and a handful of other university staff who were all wearing black academic gowns. Rey was also wearing an academic gown but with green lining on the hood since it was her new Presidential gown. The cathedral was big and gothic and every sound made an enchanting resonance.

As Rey marvelled at the medieval building around her; looking up at its high ceiling, she almost felt dizzy from its great height. The dizziness multiplied the nervous butterflies in her stomach.

Professor Holdo had asked Rey at the last minute to replace a professor from Old Castle College who was meant to give the third reading for Firgrove’s Christmas mass before the lunch at the castle. Holdo was close friends with Firgrove’s mayor as well as the Dean of the cathedral and they had always asked her to find staff members from the university to do some of the Christmas readings.

“You are technically staff now,” Holdo had said to Rey earlier that morning, winking at her.

“I suppose…” Rey had replied somewhat reluctantly.

No matter how many times Rey had faced an audience or made a public speech, she always felt nervous beforehand. She tried to take a few deep breaths as she waited in line for the procession. She stood behind Professor Holdo as the steward of the cathedral was organising the other Firgrove university staff in the line behind her.

The Dean of the cathedral and the town mayor were standing in front of Holdo and there were other town representatives in the line behind her, but no one was standing next to Rey even though they were organised in pairs.

At the very last moment, someone came and quickly stood next to her in the line just as the cathedral organ began playing and the congregation stood up.

The Dean and the mayor began walking down the aisle, slowly leading the rest of the procession line and Rey followed behind Professor Holdo.

When Rey glanced to her right to see who was walking next to her, it was _of course_, Ben Solo.

He saw her look at him and he smiled at her. Rey tried not to appear flustered and smiled back politely. He seemed a little surprised at seeing her next to him in the procession line – traditionally, it was only meant to be university staff and town representatives. Holdo had asked Rey to replace another English professor who was meant to do the reading but was ill. Rey couldn’t explain to Ben in that moment however, as they walked down the aisle of the cathedral. Neither of them spoke a word to each other as Rey felt the gaze of the townsfolk watching them in the procession down the aisle as the organ played over them.

When they reached the front, Rey and Ben were guided by a cathedral steward to sit in the choir seating area near the lectern. They were sat opposite each other as the choir seating was situated at the sides of the altar.

Rey tried to keep her gaze down and away from her professor, but it was difficult with him sitting directly opposite her. She anxiously held the programme booklet in her hand and tried to concentrate on singing the hymn and _not_ staring at Ben’s face.

As the mass began, suddenly, flashes from Rey’s dream from the night before came back to her and she tensed her temples at the thought.

_She was in church for goodness sake_ \- and she was sitting right opposite him in front of the whole town practically. This was the _worst _time to have a bizarre fantasy about kissing her professor. Rey clenched the booklet in her hand so hard, her knuckles turned white. She swallowed and turned towards the Dean of the cathedral who was speaking at the lectern and tried to shake off her distracted thoughts, but they just kept coming back.

_Why did she even have such a dream? She hadn’t even thought about him in that way before… or had she?_

Throughout the mass, Rey continued stealing fleeting glances at Ben. Of course, he wasn’t looking at her; he was concentrating on the words from the booklet and on the Dean.

He was wearing a suit and a black gown with his academic colours. His face glowed with the light of the candle that was lit in front of him. His jet-black hair fell in front of his eyes whenever he looked down at the programme and somehow, it made him look slightly younger than usual. Rey had never thought about how old he was, probably thirty, but there at that moment, if she ignored the academic gown, he could have passed for twenty-five or maybe even younger. Rey shook herself.

Soon, it was Rey’s turn to get up to the lectern and deliver the third reading. She hadn’t even read over it before it was her turn as she was too busy trying to rid her mind of her strange thoughts about her professor.

But when she got up, she saw that Ben had gotten up from his seat at the same time. The steward of the cathedral who was dressed in black robes ushered them both to the two lecterns at the front. Rey went up on the left one and Ben on the right. The lecterns were high up so she had to climb some stairs. Rey prayed that she didn’t trip up them in front of the whole cathedral and the town mayor. Luckily, she managed to ascend them without falling flat on her face.

The cathedral was silent as they awaited the next reading. Rey opened the leather-bound folder she had been given by Holdo at the last minute and she saw the piece of paper with her reading on it, but it was highlighted. She realised that the reading was split up into sections and that Ben would be reading the other parts.

It was Ben who began the reading and then stopped whenever it was Rey’s turn. They continued reading together, alternating between each other’s parts. Although Rey’s hand was trembling slightly, she placed it on the side of the lectern and mostly ignored her nerves. The reading went smoothly and she was grateful that there were no obscure biblical names or slip-ups.

After they had both finished the reading together, they walked down from their respective lecterns and they were ushered back to their seats by the steward again. Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

For the rest of the mass, Ben still didn’t look at Rey.

Why did she even care if he did or not? After all, it wouldn’t be appropriate if they weren’t paying attention to the Dean. Yet, it bothered Rey for some inexplicable reason.

Suddenly, the flashbacks from the dream of her kissing him in his office came back again and Rey groaned internally.

It was going to be a long hour.

*

The castle was beautifully decorated with holly and red candles laid on the tables and around the walls. There was a magnificent Christmas tree next to the high table and a delicious smell of roasted turkey and spices drifted through the hall.

The remaining students of Firgrove, who were mostly international students and postgrads, filled the long tables at the centre of the hall. Professor Holdo had insisted on mixing the staff of the college with students so that no one would be sat on the high table that day. A local acapella choir stood at the front and sang Christmas carols in the background to raise funds for a local charity.

Professor Holdo was opposite Rey on one of the student tables. Smiling at her, she motioned for Rey to sit in front of her once the meal began.

Rey was really growing to Professor Holdo as she had been so welcoming to her and acted as a kind of mentor ever since Rey had been elected and helped her with the disciplinary case. Whenever Rey saw her purple hair and her smiling blue eyes, she felt a strong sense of reassurance that emanated from her.

The starters were soon laid out and Rey placed her napkin on her lap - it was Norwegian salmon gravadlax on potato cakes. Then, the main was a traditional English Christmas dinner with roasted turkey trimmings, stuffing, sprouts and various roasted vegetables. By the end of the main course, Rey was probably the fullest she had ever been after finishing the last parsnip on her plate.

Afterwards, they brought out dessert and it was a rich Christmas pudding which Rey _definitely_ didn’t have room for but would eat nonetheless as it wasn’t often that she got a Christmas pudding that appetizing at her former foster home.

Throughout the meal, Rey couldn’t help herself but glance over to the table at which Ben was sitting opposite. He was conversing with some students and the Pro-Vice-Chancellor sitting two tables away from hers. Again, not once did he look up at Rey.

At one point during their conversation, Holdo had even noticed Rey staring out and asked if she was okay. Thankfully, Holdo didn’t follow where Rey’s gaze was and Rey reassured her jokingly that she was just a bit sleepy from all the food. Later, Holdo turned around when Rey stared at Ben again. Instead, however, she caught Chancellor Snoke’s eyes on the other side of the hall.

Holdo shook her head, “Just ignore him, he’s a crabby man.”

Rey hadn’t even noticed Snoke glaring at them, but once Holdo turned to look at him, Snoke turned away.

Before they began eating the pudding, Professor Holdo made a brief speech to the diners. She thanked the chefs as well as the choir who sang at the beginning and wished all the students and staff a Merry Christmas.

Once everyone had finished the desserts, the kitchen staff began clearing the dishes away. People stood around the hall merrily chatting. The waiters began serving out some mulled wine from a large vat and homemade mince pies. Holdo had left Rey as she had some town representatives to converse with after the meal. After trying some of the mulled wine, Rey decided to go and freshen up in the bathroom.

She walked towards one of the corridors that led to the bathrooms below, but as she did so, she saw Ben walking towards her from the other side of the corridor. She swallowed nervously.

_Keep calm_, she told herself.

Rey was looking down at the floor to avoid staring at him awkwardly before they met. She waited for the appropriate distance between them to look up and greet him. She had planned to say a casual, passing ‘hi!’ and carry on with her route to the bathroom but Ben stopped and greeted her properly. They were standing under the archway of the corridor.

“Rey,” he began.

“Merry Christmas,” Rey said, nodding politely.

“And to you,’” Ben smiled. “You read well this morning, perhaps you should replace Dr Jenkins every year.”

Rey laughed nervously but didn’t quite know how to respond in that moment.

Suddenly, she realised that there was something hanging from the archway above them and when she looked up, to her horror, she saw that it was mistletoe.

Boy did this college have a cruel sense of humour.

Ben followed her gaze upwards and saw what she was staring at.

Rey’s eyes widened and she began stuttering incoherently. “T-thanks, I better go…”

Rey began walking through the archway and turned the corner quickly without looking back at Ben but as she did so, there was a figure standing before her. It was the red-haired professor, Dr Hux. He appeared to have been watching them from a distance as he was glaring at her.

Rey frowned at the man then walked past, ignoring his piercing eyes, towards the bathroom.

Once she finally got to the bathroom, Rey splashed her face with cold water for the second time that day.

What was _wrong_ with her? This _really_ wasn’t the time to develop an inconvenient crush on her English professor.

*

**Spring**

The new term passed by almost as quickly as it came. The snow and frost had long melted away and the cherry blossom trees painted the town with delicate shades of pink and white. Students around Firgrove began sitting outside in gardens and on the university green to study in the sunshine instead of closing themselves indoors next to radiators and fireplaces. The streets of Firgrove became vibrant with hanging baskets of flowers outside every café and each day became longer and brighter.

Rey was sitting under a tree in Willow college’s garden reading and making revision notes on her Austen text when Finn came to find her.

“Nice shades,” Rey said observing them as she stood up from her study-spot.

“Thanks,” Finn beamed, placing them on top of his head, “You ready?”

“Yep,” Rey put her book and notes in her rucksack and they walked towards the garden gate and out towards the cobbled streets.

They walked to the local Firgrove bookshop where the staff were clearing some space and putting out chairs. Rey and Finn helped them.

Earlier in the term, Finn was elected as the new Social Secretary for the English Society. He had decided to run for the position after being involved with the Society’s plays and helping with their other events. This term English Soc decided to have a running series of literary events at the Firgrove bookshop to promote some local authors.

Rey helped Finn set up each week since she always attended the sessions anyway. Wednesday afternoons was when Rey had some free-time as it was the afternoon for recreation and sports for the whole university and also when she didn’t have any SU meetings to attend.

“So, who’s the author this week?” Rey asked Finn as she set up the drinks table at the side.

“It’s Dr Solo,” Finn replied, placing some bottles of lemonade down on the table next to her.

“Oh,” was all that Rey said. She opened the box full of new books underneath with some scissors. Inside were copies of some of Ben Solo’s poetry books.

“Yeah, I know,” Finn began, “I wasn’t exactly a fan of his either at the start of the year. But I don’t know… he seems to have loosened up in lectures a lot recently and I’m warming to him. Aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Rey said distracted, as she tried to stack the books at the front. “Oh, yeah… I guess so.”

_Of course, she had noticed _\- she spent most of her lectures and seminars staring at him wistfully whenever she could. And every time he had invited her to her office for an academic advisor meeting, she could barely look at him without blushing. But Finn remained completely unaware of his friend’s odd crush and Rey would quite like it to remain that way.

“English Soc has had a ridiculous number of requests for him to do poetry readings lately. I think a lot of the requests were from girls though, probably all have a crush on him or something,” Finn said with a slightly mocking tone.

Rey swallowed, “Maybe they just want to hear his poetry?”

“Well, apparently Loo News ranked him as this year’s hottest male professor on campus so I’m guessing they’re not only coming for the poetry if you ask me,” Finn said.

“Huh,” Rey continued to stack the books in silence hoping that Finn would soon change the subject.

*

When Ben arrived at the bookshop the place was already full of English students – most of them - to Finn’s accurate predication - were female.

Ben began with a reading of some of his first published works, then he talked about the process of writing poetry and how he became an academic. Every seat in the bookshop was filled – it certainly seemed to be their most popular event of the year. Rey listened intently as she stood to the side with Finn.

After Ben finished reading and speaking about his career as a poet, it was time for the Q&A session. Most of the questions that the audience asked were about the poets that inspired him and which were his favourite ones – most of them were American modern poets which Rey already could guess from his writing style.

One girl at the front asked him when his next book will be out.

In that moment, Ben smiled and looked up at Rey in the audience. She blushed automatically - to her annoyance; it seemed to have become her natural reaction over the past few months whenever he looked at her thanks to her stupid crush on him that didn’t seem to be going away.

“Now that’s a secret that only my publisher and one other person knows which I can’t disclose publicly. But it will be soon. Any more questions?”

*

When Ben’s talk had finished, Rey couldn’t go over to greet him as there was a swarm of students around him waiting for him to sign their copies of his poetry books. Rey was amazed at just how popular he had become with students over the course of the year since he outed himself as Ben Solo, the Poet Laureate – and no longer Kylo Ren, the infamously grumpy professor.

It was just as well - Rey still felt her cheeks were red-hot from when he stared at her and her heart was fluttering at a hundred miles per hour.

Really, this was getting ridiculous.

It’s been almost over five months that she’s had this stupid crush on him and it didn’t seem to be going away. If anything, it was getting worse. Especially now that he had opened up and become friendlier with students. But there was no way that she would tell Finn about it. It was far too embarrassing and he probably wouldn’t understand.

As Rey walked back to Willow college, she wondered if there was someone else who didn’t share the same English classes, that she could talk to about it. Just as she arrived back at Willow and thought about who that person could be, Rey automatically began walking towards Rose’s dorm room.

*

Rey knocked on Rose’s door which was followed by a chirpy “Come in!”

She turned the doorknob and saw Rose sitting on her bed with her laptop on her lap. Her room was always beautifully decorated with fairy lights hanging above her bed and pots of flowers on top of her bookshelf which Rey always marvelled at.

“What’s up?” Rose said as she placed her laptop on her desk and moved back to the bed, making space for Rey to sit down next to her.

“Not much,” Rey said with an absent-minded look, “You?”

“Just revising for exams,” Rose sighed, “I can’t believe they’re only in two weeks.”

“Yeah…” Rey said staring at the pot of flowers opposite her, “Crazy.”

Rose frowned at Rey’s strange and absent expression and reached for her tea that was sitting on her bedside table, “Do you want some tea, I just made some a minute ago?”

“Sure,” Rey said, still dazed as Rose poured her a mug of tea from her teapot. Rey continued staring at the flowers and didn’t even look at the mug which Rose handed to her. Rose was starting to look a little concerned.

“So, how’s exam revision going?” Rose took a slow sip of her tea.

Rey broke out of her daze and looked at Rose, gulping before she spoke:

“I think I’m in love with my English professor,” she blurted out with a pained and apprehensive expression.

Rose nearly choked on her tea, “You’re_ what?_”

  
  
Chapter 12: Chapter 12  
End Notes:

I have no idea how I ended up writing such a long chapter (there are probably like a million errors) but here we are! Hope you enjoy :)

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Rey covered her face with a cushion, “Don’t make me say it again,” her voice muffled.

Rose placed her tea back on the bedside table. “_Rey_,” she said, removing the cushion from her face. “Which professor?”

Rey sat up from curling on her side on the bed, her face was pink from burying her face in the cushion. “The one who was really grumpy with me at the start of the year,” she sighed.

Rose threw the cushion on the floor and sat up, “Wait the one you got in trouble with?”

Rey nodded unwillingly.

“_That’s _the professor you’re in love with?” Rose’s eyes widened.

Rey rolled her eyes, “Okay when you say it like that it sounds bad,” she retorted, “I don’t know… he’s different now.”

“What’s his name?”

“Ben Solo,” Rey muttered.

“The poet guy? I didn’t realise he was the same professor…” Rose said, glancing down at her laptop screen.

“He changed his name… well, Ben was his real name to begin with. Wait, are you googling him!?” Rey lunged on the bed reaching for Rose’s laptop but Rose batted Rey’s hand away.

“It’s research,” Rose smirked as she continued typing.

“_Rose_!” Rey exclaimed.

“What? I need some context if we’re going to talk about him!” Rose retorted.

“Are we really going to internet-stalk him like two fourteen-year-olds?” Rey said.

“Yes,” Rose replied without taking her eyes off the screen and holding up a finger to Rey. “Ooh, found him!” she suddenly chimed.

Rey scooched over on the bed and peeked over Rose’s shoulder.

“He looks kind of brooding... still good-looking though,” Rose commented as they looked at his staff profile on the university website. “Wait, wasn’t he the professor that invited you to a formal as his guest?”

“Yeah… he also came with me to the monastery.” Rey confessed.

Rose shut her laptop screen and placed it on the bedside table. “He _what_?” Rose raised her brows in surprise, “I thought you said you went on your own?”

“Well… I didn’t _technically_ say whether I was alone or with anyone,” Rey bit her lip.

“Sneaky!” Rose playfully elbowed Rey, “So does that mean he’s into you?”

“I highly doubt it…”

Rose glared at Rey, “Well why wouldn’t he if he came with you to the monastery?”

“First of all,” Rey began matter-of-factly; “I’m his undergrad student and he’s my _professor_. Second of all, why would he want to date an undergrad with the risk of losing his job? Thirdly, did I mention that he’s _my professor?”_

“You never know… he might be open to it,” Rose added. “Maybe you just need to look for more signs.”

“Signs?” Rey frowned.

“Yeah, you know… body language. Next time you’re with him, see if his body language indicates that he’s into you.”

Rey considered this for a moment and then shook her head dismissively, “I don’t know… I haven’t seen him that much this term compared to last term. I don’t think that’s a good sign.”

“_Or_ it could be a good sign. Maybe he’s avoiding you _because _he’s into you.”

“That’s just more confusing,” Rey sighed.

“Tell me about it,” Rose muttered, but then her eyes widened as soon as she realised she said it. “I mean… I can imagine it’s confusing for you.” Rose bit her lip. 

Rey picked up on Rose’s sudden shifty expression; “Do you-?” Rey began raising her brows, “…want to tell me something?”

Rose remained silent for a minute and then sighed; “Since we’re confessing stuff today…” she began.

“I’m already sat down but should I be more sat down?”

Rose rolled her eyes but still smirked, “I’ve been dating Finn for two weeks.”

Rey’s face didn’t twitch a millimetre as she stared blankly at Rose.

She frowned at Rey’s blank expression, “I did say that out loud, right?”

“I already knew.”

“Wait, _how did you know_?” Rose goggled.

“The college _cat_ knew,” Rey replied sardonically.

“Are we _that_ obvious?”

“Yes,” was all Rey said. “I mean you guys aren’t PDA or anything, but you give off a couple vibe from like a mile away.”

“Huh, that’s weird… for so long I wasn’t sure if he liked me as much as I like him, I’ve been worrying that I made him jump into something that he wasn’t ready for… or that he really just thinks of me as a friend.”

“Trust me, that boy likes you more than you think. He talks about you all the time.”

“Really? For so long I couldn’t work out if he liked me back.”

“Yeah he kept hiding it precisely_ because_ he has had a big fat crush on you since day one,” Rey explained. She remembered all the long late-night conversations she had with Finn whenever Rose went to soccer practice.

Rose’s cheeks instantly reddened and it was kind of sweet to watch how embarrassed she got talking about Finn. Rey giggled and pulled Rose in for a side hug; “I’m so happy for you guys, even if I already knew.”

*

After a while of laughing over Finn’s awkwardness and Rose’s cluelessness, Rey and Rose went outside into the college garden to study. Not long after, they both lay down on the grass and stared tranquilly at the blue sky and the drifting clouds.

The birds chirped in the trees above them and Rose hummed happily to herself. Rey closed her eyes in her own blissful serenity.

“Can we just skip exams and stay here forever?” Rose asked Rey after a quiet moment.

“Sounds perfect to me,” Rey smiled.

*

It was the beginning of June and all the undergrad students had finished their final exams and had been celebrating for the whole week. June at Firgrove University, was the month of parties, balls and graduations.

Rey, Finn and Rose were also celebrating the end of their exams that week by going to college BBQs and to the pub with Poe and Connix for various events.

Once, they even ventured to a notorious nightclub which Rey almost instantly regretted – she discovered that clubs were _not_ her thing when someone spilt their drink all over her top and if that wasn’t enough, some weird guy kept dancing close to her for most of the night. Finn and Rose had to make a human wall between Rey and the weird guy to protect her and it was simultaneously a creepy and comical moment. Even though it was a crazy night, Rey was still happy to be with her close friends and no longer have the stress and guilt of exam revision.

Nevertheless, despite being free of academic responsibility until October, Rey still had her presidential duties to manage and they didn’t stop just because her studies had finished for the academic year. In fact, because many colleges and societies were hosting their Summer Balls in the next coming weeks as well as the university’s annual batch of graduation ceremonies, Rey had to oversee and approve all the final plans for the university’s major summer events involving the student body.

*

One Saturday afternoon, Rey decided to head to the library to work on her long to-do list as she had a lot of SU responsibilities to catch up with since exams. They were doing some restoration works on the SU building so she couldn’t work in her office without getting a headache. The library would be virtually empty now that the academic term was over and everyone was out partying. It was the perfect place for Rey to get on with her work quietly, undisturbed by drill noises or drunk Willow students chanting from the garden.

She packed her laptop, headed out of the main door of college and took the shortcut to the main library by the river.

When she arrived, to her accurate prediction, there was virtually no one there apart from the librarians quietly scanning and re-shelving books and the odd postgrad typing away on their laptops.

Rey swiped her library card at the entry barriers and walked through the turnstiles.

Firgrove’s main university library was a modern building in comparison with the rest of the town’s historic architecture. It still looked beautiful though, as it was a mixture of large glass windows and wood on the outside which blended in with the rest of the town and the surrounding forest.

The English Literature section was on the second floor of the library. Rey’s favourite spot was a tucked away corner in the English section where there was a magnificent view of Old Castle College.

The corner was almost always free when the library wasn’t too busy as most people preferred the desks that faced the view of the town square, but Rey found it too distracting to watch all the people.

Rey walked through several long aisles of books to get to her favourite spot. As her corner approached, she saw someone sat at one of the desks closest to the wall, facing the window just two seats away from Rey’s favourite spot.

She decided she wasn’t going to find another place just because someone was sat nearby. She also wanted to have a browse in the English section after she had finished her SU work so she could start early on her summer reading list. Rey carried on walking to her usual seat and placed her bag on the desk facing the view of the castle, just two seats next to the other person so there was still plenty of room.

But as she got there, the man who was leaning over his desk, looked up as she took her coat off and Rey saw Ben Solo’s face.

Her first was reaction was a slightly panicked one and she initially thought about finding another desk, but since he had already seen her, it would have been rude to find another space now that she had settled her bag and coat on the back of her chair.

“Hi,” Ben whispered, smiling instantly at her.

Rey felt her cheeks reddening, not knowing how to react or where to sit. But when she saw his entrancing smile, Rey’s lips naturally curved into one too without even thinking about it. Her heart fluttered with butterflies.

Suddenly, she saw the large pile of exam papers next to him – the thought of him marking her exam paper next to her made her stomach knot.

“Sorry,” Rey whispered, “will I disturb your marking?”

“No, not at all,” Ben assured her gently, “Don’t worry I’m not marking your paper – these are my final year students.”

“Oh- good,” Rey nodded and shyly sat down in her seat – leaving one empty desk space in between them.

Ben continued with his marking and Rey switched her laptop on and began responding to her emails.

They ended up working quietly next to each other for the next couple of hours. Rey tried not to let his presence disturb her work too much. Not that he really made any noise, but her feelings for him were so strong now that she couldn’t help herself from glancing at him once in a while.

His hair falling over his eyes, the familiar scent of his cologne and the sound of his fountain pen writing on paper were all so hypnotising.

Rey eventually had to put her earphones in and listened to some gentle classical music while she worked to stop herself from being so distracted by him.

Before she realised the time, it had begun to get dark outside and her stomach was threatening to rumble loudly at any given moment. She decided to go to the mini library café to get a tea and a sandwich.

*

Despite the enormity of the university library, the café was very small in comparison. There were probably ten seats at most and it usually got pretty crowded during exam time. But now that there were no students around studying, apart from Rey, the only other people in the room were the barista and a librarian who were chatting away by the counter.

Rey swirled the tea bag in her cup and munched on her fruit bar – there were no sandwiches as the café only made enough for lunch. Rey tried to work out where she would have to buy something to eat afterwards as she had already missed dinner at Willow college.

Then, her pocket suddenly buzzed and it was a text from Rose:

** _Hey, Connix’s bday party is starting slightly later at 9.30. See you there!_ **

Rey was relieved to read the text from Rose as she had momentarily forgotten that she was going to Connix’s birthday party later that evening and she didn’t want to rush straight away.

She quickly typed a reply back to Rose saying that she’ll find something to eat beforehand and meet her at the party.

Fortunately, Rey had remembered to put Connix’s birthday card and gift in her bag before she left for the library so she wouldn’t have to go back to her dorm to pick it up.

As she finished texting Rose, she heard the chair in the café moving next to her and when Rey looked up from her screen, it was Ben again.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” he asked.

“Not at all,” Rey smiled.

He then sat down with a small cup of espresso in his hand and Rey moved her teacup to make room for him on the table.

Rey subtly noticed the smudges of red pen on his slightly veiny, but sturdy hands as he held his coffee cup. When she looked at her mug, she saw that she had blue ink stains on her own hands and tried not to smile.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. How did exams go?” Ben asked breaking her out of her daze.

Rey looked up at him with an unsure expression, “Okay, I think? I mean some of them went well, some others… I’m not so sure about but no obvious disasters…” she almost stuttered nervously. It had been a long time since they conversed like this – their last academic advisor meeting to be exact which was back in spring time.

“Do you feel happy about them on the whole?”

“Yeah,” Rey said assuredly after a moment of thought, “I guess so.”

Ben smiled, “Then that’s all that matters.”

Rey’s stomach felt like it was doing summersaults every time he looked at her with that smile on his lips and in his eyes, so she sipped on her tea in an attempt to calm her nerves.

“So, what, are you doing in the library on a Saturday evening?”

“SU work,” Rey responded after finishing the last of her tea.

Ben frowned slightly, “Tell me you’ve taken at least some time off since exams?”

Rey rolled her eyes, smiling nonetheless, “Of course,” she began, “I’ve just left the emails and other organisational stuff to build up over the week so I’m now catching up.”

“Well, can I switch with you for my marking?” Ben joked and then shook his head, sighing. He looked more tired than usual

“I don’t have a PhD or teaching qualification to mark your papers,” Rey retorted.

“That’s just a small technical issue,” Ben added playfully and finished the last of his coffee.

As they sat at the table, they both carried on conversing for a while until eventually, the barista had to ask them to leave as the library was closing soon and he had to mop the floors.

“Do you want to grab something to eat? I know a place nearby…” Ben asked suddenly as they left the café.

Rey used every ounce of her energy to appear neutral and ignored the fact that she was basically flailing internally.

“Sounds good,” she smiled.

*

Rey and Ben took the back exit of the library and walked along the path by the river. The gushing of the river was calming and a comfortable silence remained between them. The path along which they walked was lit by old street lamps that led to the bridge and the town square.

As they continued their walk along the banks, Rey saw some ducks that were sleeping on the edge of the river with their small heads tucked into their feathers. She loved to walk by the river during the day but she had never walked there at night. The town was beautifully illuminated.

They soon reached the steps climbing towards the bridge to the town square. The darkened town was bustling with students heading to clubs and dressed-up locals heading to bars and pubs already merry with laughter and giddiness. Rey waited for Ben to take the lead again as she wasn’t sure where to go.

Then she began pondering as they reached the town square; “Are we… allowed to go to a restaurant…?” she found it difficult to finish the sentence with the word ‘together’ and hoped Ben understood what she was asking him without directly implying anything.

“Yes,” Ben replied after he paused for thought, “A lot of advisors and mentors meet their students over coffees or meals.” Ben looked towards Rey who was walking by his side with her rucksack on one shoulder through the crowds of people, “You won’t get me in trouble,” he added jokingly to her.

Rey chuckled lightly and at the same time, tried to read his expression as he spoke – but it was difficult.

After some time, they reached a quiet alleyway with several restaurant signs. Ben stopped at one which was called ‘The Old Bear’ and motioned for Rey to go in before him.

“It’s sort of a simple place but the food is great – reminds me of food back home,” he explained to her before opening the door for her which was small enough that she had to duck to get in.

The restaurant was much larger than what the small door had made Rey anticipate. She took in the surroundings of the restaurant as she entered; it was a quirky place with old saxophones as decorations and the walls arched making it look almost like a grotto. The furniture was monotone themed and there were hanging lightbulbs everywhere. A pianist was playing quiet jazz music in the corner and the place was lively with diners but not too many that it was full.

There was a large bar on the furthest wall with an impressive collection of liquors and wine bottles. Hanging above it, was an illuminated set of large piano keys. To the side of the bar were doors leading to a grand terrace filled with more tables and chairs that had neatly folded blankets patterned with sheet music as well as outdoor heater lamps.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Ben asked over the hum of the music and chatter – the hairs on the back of Rey’s neck stood as she felt his voice dangerously close to her ear.

“A gin and tonic would be nice,” Rey replied politely. She began rummaging through her bag for her purse but Ben placed his hand out.

“Please, it’s on me tonight. I know the owner anyway,” Ben insisted.

Rey blushed, unsure whether to protest or politely accept his offer but he was already walking over to the bar. “Thanks,” she said.

“Professor Solo!” a voice called from behind the bar and they both turned around.

The barman came around the counter to hug Ben unexpectedly and patted him on his shoulder. The man looked old but still had a youthful smile and enthusiasm about him.

“Lando,” Ben replied reciprocating the greeting.

“Long time no see, son!” Lando grinned releasing Ben from the embrace.

“Sorry, I’ve been busy marking exams. But I’m here now,” Ben placed his hands in his pockets.

“When will I get to see your father?”

“Whenever he’s back from the States – probably for some car show…” Ben replied with a slightly sardonic tone.

“And to see you, I’m sure,” Lando added, cocking one of his brows.

Suddenly, the older man looked towards Rey who was standing slightly behind Ben – unsure whether to introduce herself or remain behind unnoticed, but it was too late.

“You know,” the man said to Rey once he spotted her, “his father and I go way back. I used to change this kid’s diapers,” Lando joked patting Ben on the shoulder again.

Ben looked visibly uncomfortable at those words and Rey tried not to burst out laughing and nodded politely to the older man’s anecdote.

“Are you going to introduce me to your lady?” Lando asked Ben.

Ben took his hands out of his pockets and cleared his throat. “This is my student advisee_,_” Ben stressed, “Rey Kenobi.”

_Clear emphasis on student advisee_, Rey thought. This was definitely not a date, and she was being silly to think that there was ever any slim possibility that it was. Clearly, he was just famished and thought to catch up with his advisee student.

Lando bowed his head to Rey, “My apologies, Miss Rey,” he said and shook her hand courteously.

“Is there a quieter area for us to dine?” Ben asked.

Rey swallowed. _Or not?_

Lando motioned towards the door, “How about the terrace? Not too many people out there now. So, any drinks? You’re having your usual beer?” he pointed to Ben, “and for the lady?”

“Uh… gin and tonic, please,” Rey replied.

“How about I make that a double?” he moved behind the bar and began mixing the drink.

“Thank you,” Rey smiled politely, “It’s a lovely place you have here.”

“Pride and joy,” Lando replied as he measured out the gin. “I have twenty of these across the country,” he handed the drink to Rey after a moment, then he opened a craft beer for Ben.

“Sit anywhere you like on the terrace and I’ll bring you two some buffalo wings to start off with. All on the house tonight.”

“Thanks,” Ben nodded, “we appreciate it.”

Rey and Ben then walked out to the terrace as Lando welcomed other customers who had just walked in behind them.

The music and chatter quietened as they closed the glass door behind. The terrace was large and overlooked the river below and the tall fir trees surrounding it. Fairly lights sparkled around the balcony and there was fake grass as flooring which made the diners feel like they were sitting in the middle of the forest. Gentle jazz music played in the background from the speakers and there were only two other couples sitting outside.

Rey tried to ignore her nerves but she felt more and more shaky as the evening went on and started to feel more like a date.

_What did this all mean? And why was he taking her to a restaurant?_

He had said that some advisors occasionally meet their students at cafes and restaurants but they weren’t actually having an academic advisor meeting as far as she was aware. There wouldn’t be much to discuss formally in terms of her academic progress if that were the case, as she still didn’t have her exam results.

Rey didn’t want to overthink the dinner too much but then she remembered what Rose told her about looking for signs and reading body language. Rey swallowed her nerves and began focusing her energy on observing Ben’s behaviour. Perhaps there still was a possibility that he did feel something towards her.

“Is here okay?” Ben asked, indicating to a table in the corner. Rey wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but he looked quite nervous himself.

“Perfect,” Rey replied trying as hard as she could to sound cool and collected while simultaneously reading into his body language.

They sat down and Rey quietly sipped her drink while Ben threaded a hand through his dark hair.

He leaned forward on the table, “So, how’s the SU work going?” he asked looking directly into her eyes, then looking away again when she met his.

“Good but a little stressful with all the summer balls coming up,” Rey explained. She tried to mirror his gesture by subtly moving closer to the table too and Ben didn’t move an inch.

“Are you going to any?” Ben asked quizzically.

Rey was surprised at the curious question but nodded nonetheless. “Yeah, Willow College ball is soon and then, of course, the SU Ball.” She swirled her straw around her drink then looked up shyly, “Are you?”

Ben thought for a moment as he took another sip of his beer, “Depends on how much marking I get through, probably not.”

Rey nodded, “I see.”

“I’m sure you’ll do a great job with the SU ball,” he said, placing the bottle back down on the coaster.

Soon the starter arrived and it was chicken wings with buffalo sauce. The waiter placed the shared platter in between them and lit the candle on the table. The candle was a tower of different coloured melted-wax which cascaded down an old wine bottle giving it an almost gothic effect.

As they ate the starter, Ben continued asking about Rey’s summer ball preparation. At first, Rey thought he was just trying to start a conversation but as the questions kept coming he seemed genuinely interested in her work in organising the SU ball.

When the main arrived, Lando himself brought them the chef’s special of the evening which was honey-glazed chicken with cornbread and artichoke hearts. Rey couldn’t remember the last time she ate such mouth-wateringly delicious food. At certain points during the meal, she had to restrain herself from chowing it down in front of Ben and getting buffalo sauce all over her.

As they ate, the conversation on the SU summer ball continued and Rey explained all the long phone-calls and emails she had with the florist that were giving her a headache.

“I don’t even like lilies all that much, they always stain your clothes...” Rey said and blushed when she realised she was blabbing now about something stupid and probably embarrassing herself but Ben just smiled at her amusedly.

“So what flowers would you have picked?” Ben asked as he broke a piece of cornbread.

Rey thought for a moment as she nibbled at another artichoke. “Yellow daisies,” she eventually replied.

Ben raised his brows looking somewhat intrigued.

They continued talking ardently for the rest of the evening right through to the dessert which was maple pecan pie with extra cream. This place was any foodie’s idea of bliss.

At some point during dessert, Rey’s phone buzzed in the middle of their conversation and Rey apologised as she quickly opened the message.

“_Oh_.”

“Is everything okay?” Ben asked with concern as he watched Rey frown at her phone screen.

It was a message from Rose: **_Hey! Where r u? xxx_**

Rey nodded, “Sorry, yeah everything’s fine. I just completely forgot that my friend’s birthday celebration is tonight.”

She suddenly remembered telling Rose that she would be there about ten minutes ago.

“If you need to leave, don’t worry. Like Lando said, you don’t have to pay – he’s an old family friend,” Ben reassured her.

“It’s okay, I can stay a bit longer,’” Rey said looking at her watch, “It has only just started and I imagine it will go on for a while anyway,” she explained, switching her phone off again after typing a quick “**_Sorry, will be there soon! xxx_**” to Rose.

“Is it far?” Ben asked.

“No not at all, it’s near the rowing club. In fact, we could probably see it from here.” Rey said as she stood up to look for Poe and Connix’s house from the terrace.

Down below was the river and the lit path but in the distance, Rey pointed to a small lit-up house. Suddenly Rey felt Ben standing next to her, watching where she was looking.

“That building there?” Ben asked pointing to it too,

“Yeah, they’re actually having a games night,” Rey said. “You wouldn’t believe she’s turning twenty-five,” she laughed nervously.

Suddenly another silence fell upon them as they watched the view from the high terrace. All the other diners had left by now and it was just Rey and Ben quietly looking at the river and the night sky.

Rey hugged herself, shivering slightly as the temperatures dropped and the cool breeze of the river caressed her bare arms. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest and she hoped that Ben didn’t notice but he was standing _so close_ to her she could smell his cologne and hear his deep breaths.

After a long moment, he leaned one arm on the balcony and turned towards her, swallowing nervously again.

“Rey, there’s been something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while,” he began.

Rey instantly faced him, holding her breath as Ben paused for a moment to catch his words.

Suddenly, his brows knitted in what seemed like concentration and all at once Rey saw him lean in…

_Oh gosh… is it really happening?_

Rey’s immediate reaction was to purse her lips and lean forward too but then…

He moved away from her face and leaned over to the heater lamp that was right behind her to switch it on.

Oh no… He _wasn’t _going to kiss her. He was just turning the outdoor heater lamp on that was behind her. And now Rey had awkwardly kissed his shoulder. This was _mortifying_. Rey began to panic and felt her entire face burn with embarrassment.

When Ben stood upright again he was frowning and for sure he knew what Rey had just done… She had practically punched his shoulder with her lips.

“Uh…” he began.

Rey needed to leave, like _right _now. This was by far the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to her in her entire life. Rey really wanted the ground to swallow her up at that moment.

As if by a miracle of saving what little dignity was left for her, Rey’s phone rang loudly with Rose’s contact name displayed on the front.

“I’m sorry… I have to go,” Rey said, she was visibly shaking.

Ben looked completely bewildered. Clearly, he didn’t feel the same way and wasn’t about to confess his undying love for her. _Great._

Rey headed straight for the glass door before Ben could even respond and walked straight out of the restaurant. When she got out, she shut the door behind her and leaned on it for a moment as she processed what on earth just happened.

“This was a huge mistake,” Rey told herself out loud.

  
  
Chapter 13: Chapter 13  
End Notes:

Mini update for the weekend. Not too many chapters to go now...

(P.S. the shoulder kiss incident was an idea taken from a 'jane the virgin' episode if anyone was wondering.)

  
  


Every fibre in Rey’s body wanted her to run back to Willow college and hide in her room for the rest of eternity. But she forced her legs to carry on walking through the town square and climb down to the row of student houses by the river.

It was Connix’s 25th birthday after all and Rey didn’t want to miss her friend’s celebration just because something embarrassing was happening in her life, that wouldn’t be fair on Connix or her friends. Besides, some time spent with the people she loved might take her mind off her situation with her professor, at least for now.

Once she was a good distance away from the restaurant, Rey got her phone out and dialled for Rose’s number immediately.

“Hey! Where are you? We don’t want to start Dungeons and Dragons without you!” Rose spoke on the line once she picked up.

“I’m on my way… I should be there soon. You’re not on loudspeaker, are you?” Rey asked Rose slightly out of breath as she hurriedly climbed down the stairs from the bridge.

Rose was silent for a moment on the phone and then replied: “No… why? Is everything okay? Hang on I’ll move to the other room.” Rey could her the slight concern in her voice.

“Yeah… don’t worry. I’m fine – well sort of... Something really embarrassing just happened,” Rey began, unsure whether she should blurt this on a phone call but she really needed Rose’s reassuring voice to stop her from becoming a hermit for the rest of her existence.

“Rey, what happened?”

She sighed; “Well long story short, I ended up going to dinner with Ben my professor-“ she explained but was immediately interrupted by Rose.

“Woah, wait… you went on a date with him!?”

“No. Well, I didn’t know if it was. Anyway, I accidentally kissed his shoulder when I thought he was going in for a kiss at the end of the night but he was just turning on a heater lamp beside me and oh my gosh¸ it was the most _mortifying_ thing ever.”

“Okay, okay, don’t panic,” Rose reassured, “Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you think? Do you want to talk about it when you get here? The others are busy making pizzas in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, Rose, see you soon,” Rey said before hanging up the call.

*

When Rey rang the doorbell to Connix’s house, Poe answered seconds later wearing an apron that was dusted in flour.

“Rey! You made it” Poe hugged her at the doorstep. “Come on in, Rose is setting up the game in the living room but we’re making pizzas, grab an apron if you want to help.”

“Oh great! I hope you don’t mind that I already ate but I’ll definitely try some later,” Rey replied braving a polite smile and trying to put the recent occurrence behind her.

As they walked into the house, Poe took Rey’s coat and hung it in the closet. “We’re just making the last batch of savoury pizzas and we’ll do the dessert ones soon.”

“Dessert pizzas?” Rey questioned as they walked through the corridor.

Poe opened the door to the kitchen, “We put Nutella on the dough instead of tomato sauce and then marshmallows instead of cheese.”

“The marshmallows were my idea, by the way,” Finn chimed as they entered the kitchen. He was rolling out some fresh dough and had flour on his face. “Where have you been? I couldn’t find you in your dorm earlier,” Finn asked.

“Oh, I was at the library…” Rey replied which was technically true but not for the whole evening.

“Till now?” Finn probed further but just as he asked the question, Connix entered the kitchen carrying some wine bottles.

“Poe are these the ones you meant?” she questioned showing the wine labels to him, then she noticed that Rey was now in the room, “Rey, you’re here!” Connix placed the wine bottles down on the side counter and went over to Rey.

“Happy Birthday, Connix!” Rey said hugging her friend tightly and then handed her the card and gift.

“Oh wow, thanks! I’m so glad you could make it,” she smiled. “Do you want anything to drink? I’m making sangria,” Connix asked as she uncorked a new wine bottle.

“Sounds lovely,” Rey replied.

“Great grab a drink, oh and could you bring one through to Rose? She’s in the living room. We’ll be over there soon when the pizzas are ready.”

“Sure, I’ll see you guys in there.”

Once Rey entered the living room and closed the door behind, she hugged Rose and handed her a drink, then instantly collapsed on her shoulder.

“How’re you holding up?” Rose asked.

Rey gulped some of her drink down and sighed; “I can’t believe I jeopardised by academic career and dignity over a hot professor.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Rose reassured Rey stroking her hair soothingly and placed the rulebook for Dungeons and Dragons which she was reading back on the table.

Rey just grumbled in response.

“Seriously, you’ll get over it. It feels like the worst thing now but I’ve had plenty of embarrassing things happen to me and after a few days they don’t seem so bad anymore. Besides, maybe he didn’t even notice that you kissed his shoulder?”

“Oh, he noticed. He _definitely noticed_. I’ve never seen a man look so confused,” Rey scrunched her eyes as the moment replayed in her head like a broken tape, over and over.

Rose rearranged the miniatures on the table-top as she pondered, “Maybe you could explain to him that it was just an accident?”

“You mean like, _sorry I accidentally tripped and punched your shoulder with my lips_?” Rey joked sarcastically.

Rose snorted, “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”

“No, it is kind of funny.” Rey laughed too, sitting up again from leaning on Rose’s shoulder and rubbed her eyes. “I think I’m just going to explain the truth to him and try to move on from it all.”

Rose took a sip of her sangria and gave Rey a sympathetic smile, “Maybe that’s the best thing to do.”

Rey picked up her drink again and swirled it despairingly; “Can you guys move to New Zealand with me and raise sheep?”

Rose chuckled, “After graduation.”

*

On Monday morning, Rey stood outside Ben’s office door with her knuckles poised, ready to knock, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It took her a few minutes of pepping herself until eventually, she took in a deep breath and knocked gently twice. A few seconds later, the door swung open and she was met face to face with Ben Solo.

His hair looked slightly dishevelled but still elegantly gelled and he was holding a mug of coffee – much like the one she spilt all over him on her first day.

“Rey…” he began looking somewhat surprised at her presence. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

Rey cleared her throat, “Do you have a minute?”

He gazed into her eyes as if trying to read her intentions. “Yes,” he said firmly as if he suddenly knew what was coming.

Without another word, he motioned for her to take a seat opposite his desk and closed the door behind them but Rey remained standing. She wanted this to be as quick and painless as possible – like ripping off a plaster. Ben frowned and looked apprehensive as he waited for her to speak.

“I’ve come here to apologise… for the other evening,” Rey spoke, she tucked a stray hair behind her ear with an unsteady hand.

Ben’s frown relaxed and he raised his brows.

Rey continued as he remained silent; “I-I didn’t mean to… _kiss_ your shoulder,” Rey felt her cheeks reddening as she practically had to spit out the words that were the elephant in the room. “I thought you were giving off… signals.”

Suddenly, Ben interrupted her putting his hand out; “I want to make something perfectly clear here – that was not my intention whatsoever and since I’m your advisor I would get in huge trouble…” he stated firmly.

Rey tried not to wince at his stern words and his piercing gaze. “I know! It was my mistake-” she stuttered, “I’m sorry… it’s because I have a… small crush on you… or _had_. I realise now that I read them wrong and it was all in my head. But I want to move on from it as it really meant nothing.”

Ben pursed his lips, “I’m not sure that I can do that.”

Rey’s face fell at those words, “Why? I’ll get over it, I won’t let it affect my academic work. It was just a stupid mistake. It won’t happen again I can _promise_.”

Ben clenched his jaw, “If you’re asking me to move on and pretend like nothing happened, that’s something I cannot do. This is a grave matter.”

The words kept stinging Rey and she felt more and more humiliated and guilty for her misunderstanding. She used every ounce of energy in her to hold up her dignity. She almost felt as small as she did during their first encounter when he yelled at her in front of the whole café after spilling hot coffee all over him. Rey felt the lump in her throat that was threatening tears.

“Then I guess I should get a new advisor,” she looked away from his gaze in the hope that he wouldn’t see her eyes watering. “Thank you for your time. And I hope you’ll forgive me for what happened,” Rey’s voice almost cracked at the end as a single tear escaped down her cheek. “If you’ll excuse me,” she trembled as she quickly reached for the doorknob.

When she left, Rey quickly wiped her cheek from the tears with her sleeve and headed towards the English department’s administrative office.

She had no idea how she would explain to the administrator why she was changing advisor but it needed to be done now.

_Quick and painless like ripping off a plaster._

  
  
Chapter 14: Chapter 14  
Notes:

Song suggestion for this chapter is 'A World Alone' by Lorde.

  
  
End Notes:

Another *mini* update - I'm hoping to get the next update out slightly sooner this time (she says). Let me know what you think :)

  
  


Rey was sitting at her desk in her SU office writing some last-minute emails before the first graduation ceremony later that afternoon. Most of the emails were regarding final preparations for the SU Charity Ball which was in a week’s time. Once she hit ‘send’ on the last email, she switched to her inbox and saw a new message come through. It was from the English Department’s school administrator:

** _Dear Rey Kenobi,_ **

** _Thank you for coming to see me the other day for your request to change Academic Advisor. As agreed, I have processed the form which declares your reason for the change in advisor as ‘personal differences’ between yourself and Dr Solo. I can now confirm that your new Academic Advisor is Dr Jane Smith. You will hear from her once the new term starts in October. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me._ **

** _Best wishes,_ **

** _Karen_ **

Rey sighed after she finished reading the email. It was a bittersweet relief for her to know that she no longer had Ben as her advisor. Sure, it was kind of painful and heart-breaking given that she was still pretty much in love with him, but at least now there was hope that those feelings would eventually go away. And even if they didn’t, she was no longer in danger of acting inappropriately around him – like accidentally kissing his shoulder.

As Rey scrolled through the rest of her inbox, she heard a knock on her door. She looked up and saw that it was the SU Vice-President, Tallie, who was also already dressed formally for the graduation ceremony later.

“Hey, you ready?” Tallie asked holding her black gown in her arms.

“Yep,” Rey reached behind the door to get her own black presidential gown that was hanging on the coat hook. “We just need to get the file downstairs from the main reception.”

*

The first graduation ceremony wasn’t for another few hours, so Rey and Tallie had an appointment with the university’s Registrar to go over the proposed SU building extension plans at Elm Hall which was essentially the university’s administrative headquarters. After this, Rey, Tallie and the rest of the SU exec team would attend the first of many graduation ceremonies at the cathedral.

Rey had met with the university’s Registrar several times and he seemed to be a kind and genuine person which was rare for staff that were so high up in the university’s hierarchy. Nevertheless, Rey could tell that he was still under the influence of Snoke – as many administrative staff members were.

The Registrar had spent a lot of time listening to Rey’s complaints about the scrapped Equality Scheme grant and confessed that he too agreed with her but there was nothing he could do since constitutionally, he would be blocked by Snoke. So, Rey had given up talking about the Equality Scheme with the Registrar months ago and stuck to other tasks at hand.

It had been a month since Rey last attempted to salvage the Equality Scheme herself – exams and a lack of progress had since placed it further down her priorities list. She planned to work on it again after the ball. Just because an anonymous sponsor was covering her fees, it didn’t mean that she wanted to give up on principle and for all the future students who would be deprived of a place at the university from lack of funding.

On the way to the Registrar’s office on the third floor, Rey passed a meeting room which she could see into through the glass panes. There, to her surprise, she saw Snoke, Dr Hux, a woman she didn’t recognise and _Ben_.

Suddenly, she got an uneasy knot in her stomach and she clenched her jaw at the sight. Why was he meeting with Snoke?

Rey swallowed and followed behind Tallie as she clutched the file close to her chest. She would need to concentrate on SU affairs for the next hour but she knew full well that seeing Ben in a meeting with Snoke was going to torture her mind for the rest of the day.

*

It was unusually hot and sticky that day in Firgrove which made Rey feel even more uncomfortable than she already was after witnessing Ben in the same room with Snoke and Dr Hux. After her meeting with the Registrar, she decided to go to the café in the same building and order some ice tea. Tallie went back to the SU building as she had left her phone there.

Once the barista handed Rey her drink, she walked towards the café tables and saw Professor Holdo sitting in the corner and decided to join her. Holdo had become a mentor to Rey over the past few months since her election, so she always felt an odd sense of tranquillity around her – something she really needed at that moment.

“Rey,” Professor Holdo perked up in her seat as she saw her approach the table, “So lovely to see you. Are you coming to the graduations this afternoon?” she asked, giving Rey her usual big, warm smile. Holdo moved her bag from the empty chair next to her so Rey could sit down.

“Yeah, I just came here for an SU meeting and now I have a bit of a break,” Rey said looking at her watch.

“I came here for the good coffee,” Holdo replied winking at Rey, “Well, that and preparing for the Senate meeting next week. You wouldn’t believe who they’re investigating-“ Holdo began but Rey’s mind and gaze suddenly wandered as she saw Ben and Snoke walking outside the building together through the window of the café, Dr Hux and the other woman were trailing behind.

“Do you know what that’s all about?” Rey asked curiously, gesturing her head towards the window.

“That’s just what I was about to tell you. He’s trying at all costs to hold onto his job,” Holdo looked serious as she put her mug down and moved closer to Rey, “he’s being investigated,” she whispered.

Rey turned towards the window again with widened eyes.

_They're investgating Ben?_

*

Throughout the graduation ceremony, Rey nervously played with the hem of her gown. Several times, she had to stop herself from pulling out a loose thread. She also couldn’t help but give darting, suspicious glances at Ben throughout the hour. This time, though, he was sitting further away from her than at Christmas so she no longer feared being noticed. She was glad that there would only be one more English Literature graduation ceremony after today so she wouldn’t have to bear so many hours of glaring at him. Seeing him every day would just make her more upset and she might do something stupid like confront him about the meeting with Snoke.

Rey was becoming an anxious mess as the hours went by – what _kind_ of investigation? Was it to do with her? And was Ben back to his usual self of sucking up to the Chancellor for the sake of his (probably large) pay-check? The thought made Rey livid.

*

The next day, Rey sleepily dragged herself out of bed and got changed out of her pyjamas. She made her way down the staircase towards the Willow dining hall for breakfast. On most days, she would arrive early to breakfast when there were barely any students up, but today the hall was packed. She had stayed up late the night before reading to distract herself from her worries, so she got up later and felt groggier than her usual self.

The dining hall smelled of freshly-brewed coffee and slightly burnt toast which were welcomed aromas for Rey’s grumbling stomach.

But when she went to get a tray and a bowl of cereal, Rey had a strange feeling that she was being watched. She looked up from her tray and saw that the eyes in the room were quickly shifting from her to elsewhere.

_Weird_, she frowned. Perhaps she just wasn’t used to seeing all these people at breakfast – or they weren’t used to seeing her getting up for breakfast so late. Or maybe she was just being paranoid.

Then she went over to get some toast and saw that one girl was overtly goggling at her from the other side of the counter.

_Did she have food on her face?_

It couldn’t be possible – she hadn’t even eaten yet. Nevertheless, Rey wiped her cheeks and around her mouth just in case. This was getting stranger and stranger. She grabbed some mini jam pots and made her way to the table where Finn and Rose were finishing their breakfasts.

“Guys…” Rey began hesitantly as she placed her tray down next to them, “Why is everyone staring at me?” she asked with apprehension.

Rose bit her lip, “You might want to read this,” she said with a sympathetic look.

Finn tentatively lifted the newspaper that was on the empty chair next to him and pushed it across the table for Rey to read the front page:

  
  
Chapter 15: Chapter 15

“What the hell is this?” Rey said, smacking the newspaper onto the table in front of Ben, not caring whether she messed up his papers that were strewn haphazardly on the table. After breakfast, she had eventually found him in the Coffee Nook after looking for him in his office upstairs.

Ben looked up at her from his notes, startled at Rey’s sudden appearance and frowned at the newspaper as he read the headline.

“Rey, I can explain…” he stuttered.

“Well you had the whole damn year to explain, so let’s hear it,” she huffed, slightly out of breath from marching over to him.

Ben stood up and discreetly glanced around them, “Can we take this in my office?” he lowered his voice and gaze; “Please?”

Rey felt the room’s eyes on them as the white noise of the café quietened at the drama of the scene unravelling in front of them. But Rey didn’t really care for their gawps and whispers at this point.

“Why?” she pressed angrily, shrugging, “you preferred to tell the whole world before me, so we may as well broadcast this conversation out to the public.”

Ben flinched at her words, “It wasn’t me who told them.”

“Then who was it!?” Rey snarled, peering at him not afraid anymore of his intense gaze.

“I don’t know,” Ben replied truthfully, “But my guess is Hux.”

Rey pursed her lips, “Is that why you were in a meeting with him yesterday?”

Ben’s mouth gaped slightly at her sudden accusation and frowned, “You think I’m _scheming_ with him? Is that really how you think of me?”

“Then, why didn’t you tell me?” she was impatient now at the circular conversation.

“I tried many times but things kept getting in the way-” he shook his head, looking away for a moment.

“What, like going to the monastery? You could have spared me a lot of pain if you had just told me before.”

“I couldn’t,” Ben retorted quietly. “I didn’t want to upset you. You wanted to find your biological parents.”

Rey clenched her fists, “I didn’t _need_ you to protect me, I can take care of myself.”

“Really? How else would you have paid in your circumstance?” Ben retaliated.

Rey recoiled at his sudden words and Ben bit his lip as soon as he realised what he said.

She clenched her jaw and glared at him, “_I’m not a charity case_,” she hissed; her lip quivered as tears threatened to fall.

Ben remained speechless as he watched her reaction. For a moment, they became lost in each other’s heated gazes; entangled in a fiery mist as if they were the only two people in the room. Until Rey broke it.

Before Ben could apologise for his rash words, Rey stormed out of the café shoving the door open and not once looking back at him. He tried to chase after her but she was already out of the building before he could weave his way through the queue of people.

*

When Rey arrived at her office in the SU building, she instantly shut and locked the door behind her. Sinking to the ground at the foot of the office door, the tears that were threatening in the café began to flow down her cheeks. Rey hugged her knees closer to her.

Suddenly, there was a knock.

Rey jolted at the sudden sound - she hadn’t expected him to follow her over here or know where her office was. Yet she remained unforgivingly still and silent.

“Rey, it’s me. I’m sorry, please let me in,” Ben’s voice came through the door.

Rey leaned her head back and sighed, reluctant to open it or even move from her spot on the ground.

On the other side, Ben leaned his forehead and upper arm on the door waiting to hear her response. “I know you don’t want to see me now, but I need to explain.”

Rey watched the patter of rain outside the window as she considered his offer but she soon shook her head remembering all the humiliation she had endured from the moment she met him and decided better of it. “You _deceived_ me.”

“I know, I should have told you earlier. Rey, I _beg_ you to open this door.”

Rey began to cry again, muffling her sobs with her hand and sleeve. He was the last person she wanted to see now that he had not only humiliated and deceived her but insulted her in the café. “I can’t. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let myself get close to you anymore. I keep getting hurt.”

A silence fell between them; the only sounds that could be heard were their heavy breaths that reverberated through the wood of the door and the patter of the summer rain outside the window pane. Rey’s warm tears continued to flow like the clouds weeping onto the earth.

“Forgive me,” he trembled.

Rey remained sat on the floor for a moment until slowly, she got up, wiped her tears from her face and gently turned the doorknob. It was those words that moved her to allow him in - no matter how full of fury her heart was, Rey could never close her heart off completely from the chance of forgiveness.

As the door gradually opened, she was met with Ben’s sorrowful eyes and rain-drenched hair, he remained silent; patiently waiting for her to give her consent to walk in. Rey sighed and moved to the side as a silent sign of permission.

They both walked into the room and crossing her arms, Rey faced the window, away from him as she contemplated the rain outside.

Ben watched her shadowed silhouette against the bluish light with remorseful eyes. “I thought about how to tell you for a long time but whenever the moment came, I struggled to have the courage to explain it in spoken words. So, I wrote it all down and kept it in my pocket since - waiting for the right moment to give it to you. I’m sorry to only give it to you now, but I’ve explained why inside,” Ben reached into the inside of his blazer pocket and pulled out an envelope, placing it on her desk beside her.

When Rey turned around, he was already gone.

*

“It’s the next stop,” Poe announced to the rest of the group as they sat on the metro.

On Wednesday morning, Rey, Finn, Rose, Poe and Connix had all decided to go on a shopping trip together before the summer balls began in the next few days. They took a train to the city and then a metro out to its large shopping mall on the outskirts.

Rey needed to go shopping as she had never owned a ball gown and her shorter formal dresses that she had bought since becoming President wouldn’t suffice for this sort of grand occasion. She was receiving a mini stipend from the SU – it wasn’t much but something to cover small expenses – so she could allow herself to buy such luxuries for this occasion.

After browsing through several department stores as well as getting distracted by the pancake house on the way, the gang came across a formal dress shop that had both ball gowns and tuxedos and even some themed accessories which were exactly what they were seeking.

Everyone began going their separate ways within the store – looking for the perfect outfit to wear for a ball. After some time, Rey found a gorgeous navy dress that had sparkles around the waist almost resembling a night sky. She decided to try it on immediately and came across Rose in the changing rooms.

“Hey, did you find anything?” she asked.

Rey held up the dress so Rose could see it in full length, “I think so, hopefully, it fits.”

“That’s gorgeous! Show me how it looks when you put it on.”

Rey smiled, “Will do. Did you find anything?”

“Yes, I found these two red dresses, but I’m not sure which one to go for,” Rose said holding her choices up too.

One was a ruby red and the other was a velvet wine-coloured dress.

Rey contemplated them for a moment, “You’ll look amazing in both, you suit red. But show me as well when you try them on,” Rey replied.

Just as they were about to enter their booths, Poe came out into the hallway wearing a tux.

“Guys? What do you think?” Poe said facing Rey and Rose and spreading his arms out so they could see the full outfit.

Finn and Connix came to the changing rooms to see.

They all observed his suit and Rey spotted an orange handkerchief in his lapel and giggled, “Orange?” she raised her eyebrows in subtle disapproval.

Finn walked forward and removed the handkerchief from Poe’s tuxedo and replaced it with one he was already carrying in his basket. “Maybe grey or white is safer,” he said mockingly patting Poe’s lapel once he placed it in.

Poe rolled his eyes, “Okay fine I’ll ditch the orange, but the tux looks good?”

“Perfect,” Connix beamed.

“We’re going to try ours on now,” Rose said to them. Then Rey and Rose went into their changing rooms, closing the curtains behind them.

Fumbling with her jeans and shirt, Rey carefully put on the dress, making sure not to break the zip. It fitted perfectly and she smiled at her reflection in the changing room’s mirror. She never thought she would wear such a beautiful dress in her lifetime.

She drew back the curtains and carefully stepped out barefooted as she waited for Rose to come out too.

“Rey, you look incredible,” Connix said as she observed her from the hallway’s chair.

“You really suit it,” Finn smiled at Rey

Soon after Rose came out in the scarlet dress that she picked out.

“Wow, you look hot!” Rose said to Rey as she gaped at Rey’s navy dress. She touched the sparkles on it that were embodied on the waist.

“So do you!” Rey raised her brows at how beautiful Rose looked, “Turn around, let’s see!”

Rose spun for them to see the back too. Amused, Rey giggled, “It’s perfect!”

Rose looked down at her dress again and then at her reflection in the larger mirror opposite, “I do like it, but I’ll try the velvet one too just in case.”

Finn suddenly came back holding some masks in his hands, “Hey have you guys seen the masks near the- oh my _gosh_.” Finn gawped at Rose’s dress.

Rose blushed and folded her arms behind her back shyly, “You like it?”

Finn laughed nervously, “I’ll say, you look amazing.”

Connix waved her hands in front of Finn’s widened eyes and he didn’t blink, “Uh, earth to Finn,” she joked.

Finn shook himself, “Sorry! I found some masks on the other side of the store which will be perfect for the SU ball,” he said putting one on to show them.

Rose picked up the ruffles of her dress ready to go back into the changing room, “Cool! Meet you guys there when we finish with the dresses.”

*

At one o’clock, once they had bought their respective dresses, tuxedos and masquerades, they all went to eat ramen at a restaurant for lunch in the shopping mall. There were so many restaurants in the food section of the mall that it took them almost half an hour to decide especially since everyone was craving different kinds of food - but ramen was the one they all seemed to agree on.

When they were sat down eating, Rey told the others what the SU had planned for entertainment at the ball. The excitement for it was building around campus as they had seen the gazebos being set up before they went shopping.

The group then talked at length about each of their summer plans and proposed a summer trip to Cornwall in late July together.

Once they finished their food, Rey checked her watch.

“I should probably head back soon,” she said to them, “I have the university’s Senate meeting to go to this afternoon.”

“Yeah, we’ll head back,” Poe agreed. They grabbed their shopping bags and headed to the underground.

*

Once they got back to Firgrove, Rey didn’t have enough time to go back to Willow to drop her stuff off in her room before the Senate meeting so she went straight to her SU office. She decided it would be best to lock up her shopping bags in there as she needed to get her files before going over to Elm Hall.

When she unlocked the door, there, sitting on her desk was Ben’s unopened letter.

On the day that he left it there, she was reluctant to open it. Then Rey hadn’t been in her office for days and had completely forgotten about it.

She placed her bags by her desk and went over to her filing cabinet to retrieve her files for the meeting.

She rummaged through the papers in the file on her desk, making sure she had everything before she left her office. As she picked them up, she eyed the envelope again and sighed. She only had a few minutes to get to the meeting at Elm Hall but she thought it was time to get this over with.

Picking up a letter opener from her pen pot next to the computer, Rey ripped the seal open in an instant and slid the letter out of the envelope to read it.

* * *

**Rey,**

**There are some things that I have been wanting to tell you for some time. I’m writing this letter with the scope of explaining them as clearly and concisely as I can.**

**At the beginning of the academic year, the Chancellor gave me and other professors strict orders to fail all students in Firgrove who were supported by the Equality Scheme that my mother had established some years ago. Knowing that I would be at risk of disobeying because of my relations, he threatened to expose my past identity if I didn’t follow.**

**But when I met you and read your work, I knew I couldn’t do that to you. You were and still are the most gifted student I have ever come across. You also have a compassionate heart towards everyone, even to me when I treated you so harshly in the beginning. And you moved me to do the same – or at least try. I knew what I had to do. So, I exposed and embraced my past identity, believing that I had removed Snoke’s blackmail.**

**But when Snoke knew what I had done and discovered that you had become SU President, he removed your grant without the excuse of failing you which goes against the university’s constitution.**

**I immediately went to the financial office and arranged an anonymous sponsorship on my part to cover your fees in the meantime until I could find a solution to restore the Equality Scheme or find an alternative grant for you. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t do something to keep your place at the university.**

**Over the past few months, Professor Holdo and I have been working to hire undercover inspectors to investigate Snoke’s corruption and his disobedience to the constitution. It has been a long and slow process. I couldn’t tell you about this until now for two reasons; the first being that Holdo and I had to wait for the inspectors and the lawyers to reach a certain stage in the case until any other parties could be informed – we were legally bound to keep this information confidential until they were certain of the evidence.**

**The second reason is the hardest thing to tell you, for I would be risking everything;**

**I'm in love with you.**

  
  
Chapter 16: Chapter 16  
Notes:

*hands you a glass of wine/grape juice and some doritos* ;)

  
  
End Notes:

Y'ALL. I'm so sorry it took so long, I've been travelling back and forth for the past three weeks or so and overestimated how much time I would have to write. So I basically wrote most of this yesterday and today lol (apologies for errors). Hope you enjoyed it! And this time, I'll try not to leave it too long until the next update :S

THANK YOU for being so patient and for all the comments. You guys make my day <3

  
  


Rey stared at the incredulous last words of the letter with her hand covering her mouth and shaking her head.

“It’s not possible,” she whispered out loud in disbelief.

Her heart was palpitating rapidly. She reached behind her blindly with her hands and lowered herself onto the desk chair and read the letter over again; twice; three times and it still said the same words at the end. She hadn’t read it wrong.

Rey looked at her watch anxiously. She should be going to the Senate meeting now although, she had no idea how she was going to concentrate on the most supreme meeting of the university in this state with so much emotion clouding her thoughts.

Rey quickly put the letter back into the envelope, placed it on top of the file she was carrying and headed out of the door, locking it behind her with shaky hands.

The words of the letter echoed in her mind as she walked towards the exit.

_I’m in love with you._

As she reached the door, Rey made a decision.

Instead of heading straight to Elm Hall, she slipped onto a side road. Weaving her way as quickly as she could through the amblers on the cobbled streets, she walked briskly to the English department. She didn’t care if this would make her late to the meeting.

She had waited too long already.

*

Rey arrived at the large door, greeted by the familiar lion door-handle. She yanked it open and its old hinges creaked in protest at the hastened movement. The floor of the building was polished marble so she was careful not to walk too quickly lest she slipped. Once she reached the carpeted staircase, she hurried on again. Rey knew the building inside out, it was almost muscle memory; orientating herself towards his office.

When she reached the top of the stairs, Rey inhaled nervously. She saw the door in the corner of her eye and it was ajar. She dumped her file onto one of the waiting chairs next to the vending machine in the corridor and walked towards Ben’s office.

Biting her lip, she knocked on the door. Two knocks and the door widened instantly.

Ben looked startled at Rey’s sudden presence. His brows furrowed under the strand of black hair that fell on his forehead. He combed it back nervously with his free hand, whilst the other held an open book that he was reading before Rey came in. Neither of them said a word to each other. There was so much that she wanted to say to him at that moment, that she couldn’t put it into words. Her mouth couldn’t even form a ‘hi.’

Instead, Rey walked into the room and closed his office door behind her, hearing a definitive click as it shut.

Ben watched her with curiosity and apprehension in his eyes – clearly not knowing what she was about to say or do. It had been days since the letter. Was he expecting a rejection? For her to yell at him? He half leaned on the edge of his desk uneasily, not knowing if she wanted to sit or stand.

Rey slowly moved forward, closer to him so her face was looking up below his. It was brightened with the afternoon sun from the window behind him. Ben’s eyes widened and he held his breath. Reaching on her tiptoes, Rey pressed her lips to his. Ben froze as he realised what was happening, his eyes remained open for a second and then closed them in ecstasy.

After a few moments, once she felt that his lips gently reciprocated, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Ben exhaled and Rey felt his hot breath on her cheek. He dropped the book in his hand, emitting a loud ‘thump’ as it hit the floor and wrapped his arms around Rey’s waist, firmly pulling her closer to him. As the seconds passed, their lips became feverish and needy – Ben opened his wider and waited for her to do the same. He gently brushed the strands of Rey’s hair away from her face. Then, his hand ran down her neck, weaving his hand into the back of her hair with the other one placed above her hip.

Rey combed her hands through his thick, black hair and basked in the scent of his cologne. She groaned a little and she would have felt extremely embarrassed, only to feel a second later that Ben responded by lifting her up by the waist. He spun her around and sat her down on the edge of his desk.

They continued kissing passionately for what felt like both a fleeting moment and an eternity. Until Rey broke it. Their lips made a smacking noise as they parted and they were both panting.

“I… I have to get to the Senate meeting…” she said in a confused panic. Both of their lips were plump and scarlet red from the other’s kiss and their hair slightly messier than before. She stood up from his desk, straightening her top. Ben stepped back as Rey walked to the other side of the office.

She looked back at him briefly with her hand on the doorknob, “Sorry…” she said blushing, “I’ll be back at half five.” She opened the door, awkwardly bumping into a stack of boxes on her way out and headed down the corridor.

“Rey…” Ben called after her with a hoarse voice, still in a confused daze from the heady kiss, but she was already rushing down the staircase with her file in hand.

*

Rey sneaked in stealthily at the back of the conference hall and she was relieved to see that her allotted seat was on the back row and that the meeting hadn’t started yet. The seating plan was in levelled circles that lowered at the centre and had a gap for the panel chairs. Each place had a microphone, a glass of water and a name tag on the desk. The central panel had nametags for the Chair of the Senate, the President, the governors and the Chancellor. There was a low murmur of quiet chatter and whispering in the room as people waited for the meeting to begin.

She found her place on the upper level of the conference hall with ‘President of the Student Union’ written on her place card under her full name. When she placed her file and notebook on the desk, she noticed that she was gripping Ben’s letter in her hand. Rey hadn’t even realised that she brought it with her to the meeting but she was so flustered from the kiss that she forgot she left it on top of her file. It was as if bringing it with her to the meeting was a way to check if it was all real – the letter, the kiss – and not another one of her dreams. But it was there in her hand with his cursive handwriting showing through the tears in the envelope.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” a voice came through the sound system and Rey looked up from Ben’s letter to the centre panel. It was the Chair of the Senate who was an external university governor.

The Chair then opened the meeting by delivering an introductory speech and explained the agenda.

Rey saw in the corner of her eye Professor Holdo, who was sitting in the row just before the panel; she could spot her in the congregation easily from her bright lilac hair.

As the Chair droned on about the last Senate meeting’s minutes, Rey started thinking about Ben and how he had arranged with Holdo to investigate Snoke and bring back the Equality Scheme. He had _jeopardised_ his career… all for her.

Rey tried not to smile like the idiot-in-love that she was, but she couldn’t help it.

Then as she glanced at the university panel, she suddenly realised that the Chancellor’s chair was empty. It didn’t even have a place name on it as it usually did. There were only the Chair and the Head of the governors. Rey frowned and searched the room for Snoke’s distorted and grumpy face, but she couldn’t find him in the room. He was nowhere to be seen.

This was extremely peculiar as the Senate meeting would practically be void without the Chancellor. If the Chancellor was not able to make it then they would always reschedule. So why wasn’t he there?

Rey’s heart began thumping and she held her breath as she read the agenda on the Senate meeting handbook that was on her desk.

She saw the first item after the minutes: **_Dismissal of the Chancellor._**

Rey turned to her neighbours to see if she knew them so she could ask _what the heck was going on_. She saw she was sat between the Head of Finance and the Director of Careers Opportunities and they looked like they were concentrating on the speech and she didn’t want to interrupt them.

Instead, Rey discreetly got her phone out beneath her desk and searched for the Firgrove Press’ website.

Sure enough, the first headline on the newsfeed was that Chancellor Snoke had been fired. Rey felt like she was on cloud nine.

*

The meeting was nearly two hours long as the Chair and the governors formally explained (somewhat tediously) Snoke’s dismissal. Rey kept checking her watch anxiously as it was running over and she told Ben she would be back at half five.

Later on, the Chief Inspector of the Quality Assessors for Higher Education gave a detailed account of the ongoing investigation which he announced was led internally by Professor Amilyn Holdo and Dr Ben Solo. Holdo spoke briefly through her microphone on her desk when asked by members of the Senate to clarify details of the investigation and Snoke’s misconducts.

Near the end of the meeting, the Chief Inspector called for Rey to speak too on behalf of the students and herself as a former Equality Scheme student. She nearly choked on her own air when she heard her name. She wasn’t expecting to talk at this meeting. Her mind was too clouded by the kiss to think straight but luckily, she heard most of the report of the case.

“Miss Kenobi, please could you confirm that the account we have given on the Chancellor’s misconduct towards you is fully correct.”

Rey stood up dutifully and cleared her throat, “Yes, it is correct. The Chancellor cancelled my grant without warning or reason.”

The Chief Inspector nodded respectfully towards her and Rey sat down again. “Thank you, Miss Kenobi. We can assure you that the governors along with a newly-appointed Chancellor will reinstate your grant as well as the Equality Scheme.”

The Chair then explained that the Vice-Chancellor will be covering the role of Chancellor in the meantime until the governors hire a new Chancellor. He announced that the head-hunters had already selected potential candidates both internally and externally and interviews and assessments were underway.

After they finished explaining the investigation and concluding dismissal of Snoke, the Senate meeting adjourned.

As everyone started getting up from their seats and making their way out of the conference hall, Rey weaved her way through the people and the aisles so she could get to Holdo.

“Amilyn,” Rey called.

Professor Holdo turned around when she heard Rey’s voice behind her and smiled when she saw her.

“Rey, it’s so wonderful to see you,” her smile was warm and welcoming as ever and Rey felt embraced by her comforting presence.

“I really can’t thank you enough,” Rey began, not really knowing where to begin, “There’s so much I want to say to you. For everything you’ve done for me…for fighting my battle.”

“Please, there is no need to thank me. It was my duty, I couldn’t watch that man carry on doing the things he was doing. It was about time we did something about him,” Holdo shook her head at the thought of Snoke. “After all, most of it was down to Ben Solo. It was his idea,” she explained earnestly.

Rey shook her head smiling, “I had no idea… this whole time. For a moment, I even thought _Ben_ was scheming with Snoke. When all along he was fighting for me.”

“There’s a lot that Ben does that he doesn’t get credit for…” Holdo remarked absent-mindedly, “He’s just like his mother in that respect,” she smiled again.

Rey looked around the room at the crowd of people passing around them.

“Why wasn’t he at this meeting? I mean he was the one who started the investigation in the first place? Surely the governors could have invited him?”

Holdo’s smile fell slightly to a sombre and sympathetic expression, “You weren’t told, were you?” she asked Rey solemnly.

Rey’s eyes widened in concern, “No? Told what?” she replied. The look in Holdo’s eyes made Rey’s stomach lurch.

Holdo pursed her lips for a moment as she thought about how to explain as painlessly as possible. After a quiet moment, she spoke again; “Ben has been fired.”

Rey’s breath caught in her lungs, “How?” she barely whispered.

Holdo looked up from where she had been staring at the ground. “Before Snoke’s investigation came to a close just a few days ago, Snoke found out everything that Ben had been doing and so he fired him just before he was fired himself. Constitutionally, this was possible and irreversible since Snoke was still the Chancellor.”

Rey’s brows knitted as she shook her head, “But… surely they can rehire him back? Can’t they? He did nothing wrong… The governors can fix it?”

Holdo shook her head in response, “I’m afraid it’s not as easy as that. It’s a lot more complicated than it seems and it could be a while till the governors are able to re-evaluate Ben’s position. University policy is that once a staff member has been made redundant they’re not allowed to be hired back.”

“But if it was _Snoke_ who fired him...”

“I know,” Holdo said sympathetically and placed a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “If it were up to me, I would make Ben head of his faculty, he’s that good. The university needs professors like him,” she remarked.

Rey sighed. She remembered seeing the boxes scattered around his office on her way out, but she was too flustered by the kiss and panicked by the meeting to wonder why they were there. It seemed so obvious now. She felt _terrible_. Ben got fired because of her.

She tried to mask her anguish and guilt and instead curved her lips in a small smile.

“Thank you again, for everything,” Rey said earnestly to Holdo on the way out.

“The pleasure was mine,” Holdo replied and hugged Rey as they stood outside the door.

*

Once Rey left Elm Hall, she sprinted back to the English department. This time she didn’t worry about slipping on the marble floor, or startling other professors on her way up to the offices as she ran up the staircase.

When she reached Ben’s office, the door was wide open. This time, there was no Ben, nor anything left in the office apart from its bare furniture.

There was a post-it note stuck on the desk, just where she was sitting when he kissed her.

** _Rey,_ **

** _I’ve gone back to London. I’ll call you._ **

** _Ben._ **

  
  
Chapter 17: Chapter 17

_London_? He’s gone to London? It was at least three hours by train or car to get to London, it would be quicker to fly there. Rey couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Especially since they had just kissed for the first time and she finally thought they could be together.

Part of her worried that he had changed his mind, but it seemed a little extreme to move cities just to avoid someone. No. That was silly. Besides he _had _just been fired.

Rey pushed the thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on the fact that Ben said he would call her and would hopefully explain everything. She shouldn’t jump to the worst conclusions just yet.

She put the post-it note in her pocket and made her way back to Willow college.

*

Dinner at Willow was becoming less crowded now that it was summer and exams had long finished. Some students were going home already for the holidays, but most people were still around for the summer balls.

People around campus were already hyped about the SU ball including Finn and Rose. They kept asking her for clues about what will happen at the ball and what entertainment they had booked. Usually, Rey would play along and give them cryptic clues that they could never guess, but she wasn’t in a very playful mood at dinner.

“Will there be a bouncy castle?” Finn asked.

Rey stared at the lasagne on her plate that she was playing with her fork – she _loved _lasagne and could practically inhale a plateful in thirty seconds. “_Rey?_” Finn called.

“Huh? Oh… Yeah,” she said, shaking herself out of her daze.

Finn put a hand on Rey’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asked her, waiting for her to look up from her plate.

“Sorry, I’m just a little out of it tonight,” she replied, giving Finn and Rose a small, reassuring smile. She didn’t want her friends worrying about her, but it was hard to put on a mask.

“Was it the meeting?” Rose asked with a concerned look.

“No… Well, sort of actually,” Rey began, she turned around to see if anyway was near to listen but they were in a corner and most people had already finished their dinner or were out partying.

“They fired Snoke,” she began.

“But that’s good news, right?” Finn chimed.

“Yeah, but Snoke fired Ben Solo before he himself got fired as he found out about the investigation that Ben was leading,” Rey explained.

Rose gave Rey a sympathetic and knowing look, Finn on the other hand, looked slightly confused.

“Oh, but it’s not like it’s your fault or anything?” Finn remarked.

Rey bit her lip, “Except, it kind of is…”

Finn frowned at Rey, “What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

Rey sighed, “It’s a long story,” she looked around their table again. “My room?” she said, lifting a brow expectantly at them.

Finn and Rose nodded. They placed their trays on the rack once they finished dinner and headed up the main staircase to Rey’s dorm room.

*

Rose already knew most of the story so it was Finn to whom she mostly confessed. She told them everything, even the kiss in Ben’s office and the post-it note.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” Rey apologised to Finn, “I just didn’t want you to worry about me. I know you weren’t a fan of his at the beginning.”

Finn wiped the astonished look on his face after hearing her words and instead, showed one of compassion. He placed a hand on her forearm. “Hey, don’t worry about it. From everything you’ve told me now and from what I’ve heard, I know he’s a good guy. You know, you can always tell me anything. I just want you to be happy.”

“Seconded,” Rose chimed, smiling reassuringly at Rey.

“Thanks. You guys are the best.” Rey pulled them into a hug as they sat on her bed. When she released them, she looked down at the post-it that she got out of her pocket. “What do you think I should do?”

Rose pursed her lips as she thought, “There might be an explanation as to why he had to leave suddenly. I guess wait for him to call to explain.”

“But in the meantime, don’t let it bother you,” Finn added. “And him getting fired _definitely_ wasn’t your fault.”

Rey nodded at them, “Yeah, you’re right, thanks again.”

She felt better already after talking with her friends.

They then spent the rest of the evening watching Doctor Who and eating microwaved popcorn in her room.

*

Rey saw her phone light up and vibrate on her bedside table. When she looked at the screen it was half ten in the evening and the name ‘Ben Solo’ was displayed across it.

Her heart began to pump rapidly. She held her breath as she hit the green button.

“Hello?” she replied timidly.

“Rey, it’s Ben. Did I wake you?” a low voice came through the speaker. She could hear background noise as if he was in a car.

“No, not yet. Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye before I left,” Ben spoke.

Rey’s stomach instantly knotted at the words ‘saying goodbye.’

“I… heard about Snoke firing you,” Rey sat up in bed and leaned on the headboard, “I’m sorry you lost your job because of me.”

“Please don’t be sorry, I’m the one who should be sorry for going to London without telling you before I left. I didn’t get a chance to see you after your meeting as I had a non-refundable train ticket. My literary agent insisted on having the book launch party tonight at the publisher. I’ve just come out of it now. I’ll be on a book tour for three weeks.”

“Oh,” Rey replied. She supposed that wasn’t as bad as she had anticipated, she was prepared to hear him say that he had moved there permanently. “I forgot about your book being published...” was all that she could say. It was months since she first read his manuscript back in December.

“Rey, it was stupid of me not to tell you before I left. I didn’t know if you wanted to see me after the letter. And you… took me by surprise in my office. I want you to know that you mean a lot to me.” Ben sighed audibly on the phone, “I want to see you when I get back and make up for the lost time.”

Rey swallowed nervously and gripped her phone tighter, “I’d like that,” she replied and a smile spread across her lips.

“I’m not very good at texting but I’ll try and call every few days?” he asked.

“Yeah, okay. Hope the book tour goes well.”

“We’ll talk soon,” Ben said, somehow Rey could almost hear his smile on the phone.

*

The following evening, Rey was sat at the bar in the Knight’s Sword while Poe and Connix were serving drinks. She was writing her speech for the SU ball on her notepad, but in the last hour, she had been checking her phone every five minutes. Rey hardly ever checked her phone and unless she was expecting a call, she would put it on airplane mode.

Poe frowned as he handed a mug of her favourite hot chocolate.

“You’re not asking Siri to write your speech, are you?” Poe joked.

Rey laughed and rolled her eyes, “No, I just…” she sighed mid-sentence, “I can’t concentrate on finishing this speech, I keep getting distracted. I’m worried it’s going to sound cheesy.” Rey purposefully left out the part about how she keeps obsessively checking her phone as she’s waiting for a call or text from her ex-professor (and now sort-of-boyfriend/lover?), but that was just a minor detail really.

“People love cheese, here let me see it,” Poe stealthy swivelled the notepad around so he could read it from his side of the bar before Rey could stop him.

There were a few minutes of silence as Poe read through it. Rey tried to restrain herself from rolling her eyes at him and instead nibbled on the mini marshmallows on her hot chocolate. Watching someone read your work in front of you was not fun, but Poe kept smiling and laughing as he read her speech and it made Rey feel less weird about it.

“Rey, this is _amazing_. You wrote all of this now?”

“I wrote the first-half this morning and then the rest now. I just need to do the ending.”

“Okay, well, there are two jokes in this paragraph, maybe save one of them for the end. And then just make some thank you’s to catering and SU staff,” Poe suggested as he pointed to the paragraph he was referring to.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks, Poe.”

“And hey – if it makes you feel less nervous about the speech, one year the SU President was so drunk he did the Macarena mid-speech,” he said as he handed the notepad back to her.

Rey laughed, “That does make me feel better.”

*

An alarm wakes Rey up at seven a.m. the next morning and it takes her half an hour to unglue herself from the mattress. She didn’t drink any alcohol last night at the pub, but she stayed up a little later than she had planned to finish writing her speech… and talking to Ben on the phone.

He called her once she got back from the pub and they chatted for hours. He even asked her to read her SU speech to him over the phone. _The entire thing. _How he didn’t fall asleep to it and still sounded enthusiastic about it amazed her. When it got to one a.m, they both said goodnight to each other. It took Rey a while to fall asleep after that as her chest was full of butterflies.

Once she dozily hopped into the shower, got dressed and scoffed down some toast and scrambled eggs from the Willow dining hall, Rey was now ready for the big day of the summer ball.

She headed straight to the SU building once she brushed her teeth and grabbed her bag from her room. The ball would be held in the Old Castle College, but the SU exec and the Ball Committee = were gathering for a briefing at nine in the SU hall and then went on to help with various preparations.

After the meeting, Rey headed to her office to check her emails and the list of her preparation tasks. As she clicked through a new email from the florist confirming the delivery later that morning, the office phone rang.

“Hello?” Rey answered after a few rings.

“Miss Rey Kenobi?” a voice replied.

“Yes, this is she. Who’s speaking?”

“It’s Henry Owen, the Registrar at Elm Hall. We’ve met a few times. The new Chancellor would like to meet with you. Can you come over in half an hour?”

Rey was taken aback, “Uh… Yes. Who-?”

“Excellent, see you then,” Henry replied and hung up instantly before she could ask any further questions.

*

When Rey reached the large glass doors of Elm Hall, she saw Henry waiting for her in the reception area. He nodded once she walked through the entrance.

“Thank you for coming. The office is on the third floor,” he explained as he led her through the reception. He swiped his staff card and unlocked the door to the main staircase.

Henry began some small talk about the weather with her as they walked up to the third floor, tactfully avoiding any conversation about who the new Chancellor was, but Rey went along with it nonetheless.

When they climbed to the third floor, they crossed over to the other side through a glass bridge which hung over the ground floor.

“Here we are,” Henry announced when they reached an office door. “I’ll leave you to it,” he said, nodding to her politely.

“Thank you,” Rey replied just as he left and walked down the corridor to his own office.

She was left alone now in front of the door and behind it was the new Chancellor. All she had to do now was knock and introduce herself. Speculations of who it could be were running through her mind. It was most likely someone new and external, but it seemed unusual that one of the first people that they would want to meet was the SU President. Rey imagined the Chancellor would want to first meet with the town mayor, the principals of the colleges or heads of faculty. And Henry’s extremely formal behaviour was… strange.

She exhaled and knocked three times; she might as well get it over and done with. It was a big day today already with the SU ball and she didn’t have time for more nerves.

The door slowly opened and behind it, Rey saw bright lilac curls and a purple summer dress.

Rey’s jaw dropped and then formed the widest grin.

“_Amilyn!?_” she called loudly and moved instantly towards her for a hug.

Holdo reciprocated and caught Rey’s embrace. “Surprised?” she laughed, releasing Rey and motioning for her to come in the office.

“I’ll say,” Rey made her way over to one of the chairs opposite the desk.

“I was too,” Holdo closed the door behind them.

“I mean I’m surprised because the governors have made a fantastic decision for once. The _best _decision. The university couldn’t have a better leader than you.”

“I couldn’t believe it when I got the call from the head-hunters,” Holdo shook her head in amazement at the memory. “It’s funny how things turn around like that. Want anything to drink? I just boiled the kettle.”

“Tea would be great, thanks.” Rey moved her chair back so she could still see Holdo, “Tell me everything. When did you find out?”

“Last night actually. I had the interview in the afternoon and they called me two hours later while I was making dinner. I nearly dropped my tray when they told me.”

Holdo then moved over to Rey’s chair and placed her tea on the desk. Holdo sat next to her on the same side.

“You were one of the first people I wanted to tell. In fact, you are one of ten or so people who know. We’re not making it public for at least two days.”

Rey raised her brows, surprised at Holdo’s trust for her. “I promise not to tell anyone,” she reassured her.

Holdo took a sip of her own tea and then placed it down again, “It’s not a problem, really. It’s just protocol. Besides, the SU ball this evening might be more relaxing without the Firgrove Press breathing down my neck.”

Rey laughed, “I know what that feels like.”

“How are preparations going? I hope I didn’t interrupt them?” Holdo asked.

“Things seem to be going smoothly so far. In fact, I should probably head back now,” Rey said as she looked at her watch.

“Of course, but before you go, I have something to show you,” Holdo explained as she got up from her chair and walked to other side of the desk. Opening a drawer, she began rummaging through a file and pulled out a piece of paper. She handed it to Rey over the desk.

Rey placed her mug on the coaster and began reading. It was a document from the Finance Office.

“What is this?” Rey asked curiously as she tried to speed-read it, but it had a lot of numbers and financial jargon.

“I’ve restored the Equality Scheme,” Holdo stated with a proud grin on her face.

Rey lowered the paper and stared at Holdo in astonishment, “No…” she said, her lips began to curve into a smile and she shook her head in disbelief.

Holdo nodded.

Rey laughed, she was completely bewildered. “Are you serious!?”

“Completely,” Holdo emphasised, “First thing I did this morning.”

Rey stared at the paper again and read through it, the numbers now making more sense.

“The Finance Office also reimbursed Ben for paying your tuition fees.”

Rey looked up at Holdo again, incredulous, “Really?”

“Every penny,” she confirmed.

Rey placed the document back on her desk and laughed; she still couldn’t believe it, “Chancellor Holdo, you have made me a _very_ happy woman.”

“You deserve it. You always have. If it wasn’t for your passion for justice in this university, I wouldn’t be in this office,” Holdo said honestly to Rey, “It’s an honour to be your Chancellor.”

*

Rey spent the rest of the morning at the castle overseeing deliveries and helping out the Ball Committee set up the final decorations. At lunchtime, she went to the mini supermarket in town and got a sandwich and a fruit bar. When it got to two p.m, most of the preparations had been finished and she went back to her dorm room. She felt a little sleep-deprived so she decided to take a nap. It was going to be a long night and she needed all the energy she could muster.

She woke again and saw on her phone that it was 3:42 pm. She needed to start getting ready for the ball soon as Poe and Connix had planned a pre-drinks party at 4.30pm at their house.

Rey splashed some cold water on her face from the sink to wake herself up from her slumber.

She thought it was better to do her make-up first so she wouldn’t get any on her new dress. Opening the medicine cabinet, she got her small bag of makeup out and started smoothing some foundation on her cheeks. Then, she did her eye makeup and finished with a dark red lipstick.

Her ball gown was hanging on the outside of her wardrobe so it wouldn’t get any creases on it. She carefully got into her long, navy dress. It took her a while to zip herself up from the back, but after a few minutes of reaching behind her shoulder, she managed to close it. She then curled her hair and as she was adding hair gel so that her curls would hold, her phone sounded. 

When she looked over at the illuminated screen, she saw Ben’s name at the top.

** _How are the ball preparations going?_ **

Rey picked up her phone to reply.

** _Good, though I’m still nervous about my speech. How’s the book tour?_ **

Rey placed her phone on the windowsill. She got out her only set of jewellery from her bedside table and began putting her silver earrings and necklace on. A minute later, her phone buzzed again.

** _You’re a natural public speaker. You’ll be amazing._ **

And then a minute later, another message came through.

** _Tedious. I think I’m losing the feeling in my right hand from the endless book-signing. I’m already missing Firgrove, well, more specifically, I’m missing you._ **

Rey felt her heartbeats increase in her chest and her lungs expand as she read those words. Her thumbs immediately danced on the screen in response.

** _I miss you too. Wish you were here._ **

Rey then turned the screen off and placed her phone in her clutch bag. It was time to go to Poe and Connix’s house before the ball started. She made her way out of her dorm room, making sure she had a copy of her speech with her and her mask.

  
  
Chapter 18: Chapter 18  
End Notes:

Thank you so, so, SO much for actually reading this. I still can't believe the ridiculous number of hits it's received.

Anyway, yes it's finished. BUT, 'tis not the end, my friend. I'm planning to write an epilogue at some point (working title is Sealed in Ink). In the meantime though, I'm writing a new fic called Spellbound and I'm SUPER excited about it. It's a Good Witch AU featuring Doctor!Ben. Here's the description:

Ever since she was born, Rey had special - one might even call them magical - healing powers. For a few years, Rey has been running the island’s favourite shop, The Lavender Nook, and providing the town’s people with essential oils, herbal teas and aromatherapy massages. Indeed, many townsfolk came to her with their ails, whether they be physical or emotional. But when a new doctor moves to town, Dr Ben Solo, he is far from approving of Rey’s alternative medicinal practices and tries to expose her.

If you want to know more, check out my tumblr post about it:

[★Spellbound](https://jedihood.tumblr.com/post/172901258710/spellbound-the-good-witch-au-ever-since-she-was)

Or subscribe to my ao3 profile.

I'm also looking for a beta for this new fic as I need help with editing (which I kind of suck at), so if anyone's interested please let me know either through Twitter or Tumblr!

One final note, a big congratulations to one of my readers who has just finished defending their master's thesis and got a distinction and the highest note, Dr Ben Solo would be very proud!

And for everyone else; remember, if you're ever struggling with homework or academia. Do it for Dr Solo or Professor Holdo :)

  
  


As Rey, Rose, Finn, Poe and Connix walked on the cobbled streets of Firgrove, other guests dressed in elegant ball gowns, playsuits and tuxedos flocked towards the Old Castle College with them. It wasn’t an easy walk however, as Firgrove was infamously hilly and the cobbles made it difficult for Rey and Rose who were wearing heels, to amble gracefully to the ball. They envied Connix’s practical choice of a playsuit and brogues.

En route to the castle, they were met with several venetian masks as signs with arrows below them, pointing the way to the marquee which was situated on the Old Castle library lawn.

“_Finally,_ no more cobbles,” Rose commented as they made their way across the grass to the tent.

“At least yours are wedges, I’m sinking into the grass with every step!” Rey replied. Rose offered her hand to Rey so that she could help her across the lawn and stop her from sinking. Eventually, they reached a white carpet laid out that led to the entrance of the marquee and Rey could manage by herself from there.

“Here we are,” Poe announced as they arrived.

“Wait, let’s get a picture together,” Finn said before entering.

“While we still all look elegant before we’ve had too much alcohol?” Connix jibed.

“Speak for yourself, I’m not drinking until after the bouncy castle,” Finn said, getting his phone out of his pocket and asking a passer-by to take their photo as a group.

“I’m _not_ spending the whole night on the bouncy castle,” said Rose.

“Guys, the photo,” Poe said through his teeth as he smiled for the camera, waiting for the others to do the same.

“Right,” Finn said and they all turned and smiled at the lens.

Taking his phone back, Finn thanked the student and they slowly made their way through the marquee.

Inside, the tent swelled with masked guests and jovial laughter. The rear of the marquee was filled with round tables and covered white seats. The ceiling was black sprinkled with specks of glitter like the midnight sky. At the centre of each table were white bouquets and magnificent silver candelabras with black wax melting along their lengths.

The mixologists at the bar were dressed in elaborate venetian black gowns and tuxedos but their _volto_ masks were ivory. The servers at the entrance handed them each a flute of champagne and they began exploring the place. There was a long queue for the photographer who was taking group photos in front of a screen near the entrance, so they moved further along in the marquee.

For most of the early evening before the meal started, the group split up to chat to various people and planned to meet again at their shared table for the meal. Finn and Rose caught up with friends from their theatre group and Poe and Connix were chatting to old SU exec members. Rey joined them until she had to check up on the ball arrangements.

Eventually, she found Tallie, the Vice-President of the SU, to get an update on the programme for the evening.

“Everything seems to be going to plan,” she reported to Rey, “I don’t think there’s anything left for us to do. Jonathan and the rest of the ball committee seem to have it all under control.”

“That’s a relief to hear. I’m nervous enough as it is for the speech,” Rey confessed to Tallie.

“It will be over before you know it.”

“I hope so. Anyway, I better head to my seat soon,” Rey said looking at her watch, “it’s nearly time.”

Tallie nodded, “Good luck, not that you’ll need it.”

*

Rey sat down at the table with her friends and pulled out her speech from her clutch bag. As she practiced reading over it, the other tables filled up quickly. She felt a tap on her shoulders and when she turned around, she saw the SU Secretary handing her the microphone.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said, Rey nodded to him.

She waited another few minutes, nervously chewing her bottom lip, as everyone sat in their places. When the last person was seated, she stood up, clasping the microphone in her hand.

“Good evening, everyone,” Rey’s voice sounded through the speakers. The murmurs of the room quietened as they focused their attention on the President.

She still felt like she wasn’t prepared for this, but her voice seemed to be doing the job for her. She remembered to smile before beginning her speech. No one would have been able to detect that she was nervous as she had the brightest smile and a steady voice as she gave a report on the SU’s year, their achievements, their new projects and a list of the total funds they have raised for charities.

Rey then gave reports on the work of the other members of the exec and threw in a few jokes which seemed to land quite well with the crowd. After thanking all the various staff members of the SU and the catering for the evening, Rey was getting closer to the end of her speech and she clutched the piece of paper tighter in her slightly trembling hand. Her voice however, remained unwavering.

“On a more serious note,” Rey read from her notes, “Thank you all for coming this evening, for supporting the SU, but most importantly tonight, for contributing to the charities we support. For me, this night is special for two reasons. Firstly, for the support you have given us, the exec, and in my mission to bring back equality in education.

“The second reason why this night is important to me is that one of the charities that we are supporting tonight is the Kenobi Foundation. You might recognise the name already as Kenobi is my surname. The charity was founded to support foster children, and Kenobi is the surname they give to the orphans who never knew who their parents were. Some of you already know this, but I am one of them. And although I didn’t have the easiest of upbringings, if it wasn’t for their foster home, I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. I am so grateful to have been given a second chance despite my parents abandoning me. And now I can be the voice for the foster kids out there today. Please continue supporting the SU charities through these events and by donating on our website. Thank you once again for all your support this year. It has been an absolute honour to represent you and I look forward to another term of being President of the SU. Have a wonderful evening.”

The room broke out in applause as well as cheering; and not only from Finn, Rose, Poe and Connix. She switched off her microphone and sat back down at her place, feeling like a hefty weight was lifted off her. Not just because she had finished the speech that she was so nervous about, but it was the first time she openly talked about her upbringing since Snoke had announced it without her consent all those months ago. Speaking about it in first person and having control over her own story was far more liberating.

“Rey, that was amazing,” Finn spoke next to her, rubbing her shoulder.

“We’re so proud of you,” Rose added.

“Thanks, you guys, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I say we toast to that,” Poe announced as he raised his glass.

“Wait, wait!” Rey said as she put the mic down and took her glass. “Just a few words. You guys have been the best friends I could ever ask for. And you’ve all achieved amazing things this year. This is to _us_,” she raised her glass to the centre of the table and they all raised theirs in unison, clinking them together.

“To us!” they all repeated.

*

The evening of the ball continued with much mirth and delicious food. There were four courses in total; a starter, a main, a dessert and a cheeseboard. Rey had never felt so full in her life, but somehow, they managed to go on the bouncy castle after dinner without anyone throwing up which was a miracle.

Finn, Poe and Connix remained on the bouncy castle while Rey and Rose decided to explore inside the _real _castle.

They walked through the archway and then entered the Great Hall where there were large steps leading down to the ballroom floor. Chandeliers and candles covered its ceiling and walls. The decorations of the hall had remained the same since it was occupied by the university since the early-Victorian era but with Norman origins. Oil portraits of previous college principals hung on the walls who were all observing the magic of the evening. Grinning at one particular frame, Rey could spot an elegant woman with lilac hair in the far corner.

The Great Hall was already vibrant with moving colours of ballgowns and tuxedos swaying to the melody of the band that was playing on the raised platform. It was where they would usually place the high table for the college’s formals and it brought back a bittersweet memory of her formal dinner with Ben all those months ago. How much had changed since then.

“Shall we?” Rose asked, lifting a brow.

“Let’s,” Rey smiled at her.

After descending the stairs, Rey and Rose began dancing together to the lively music of the band. They mimicked the steps they had learnt from those few ballroom classes they went to at the start of the year. Occasionally, one would forget a step and they would clumsily bump into each other, but somehow it made the experience more fun as they laughed it off together.

After a while, there was less awkward bumping as they soon synchronised and became quite proficient dancers. Other guests around them started to cheer them on when they took their shoes off and danced more assuredly without the hindrance of their heels.

Soon, the others joined them from being on the bouncy castle and cheered them on too, then finally joining them as a group to dance together.

*

After an hour or so on the dancefloor, Rey was a little out of breath and sweaty, so she decided to find her bag that was on a chair at the side of the hall. Sitting down on the chair, she got her phone out and saw that she had one unread message from Ben received five minutes ago.

** _Are you free to call briefly?_ **

Rey looked around her for an exit as the ballroom was far too loud to make a phone call. She swiftly tapped out a reply.

** _Sure, let me find a quiet space and I’ll call you._ **

As she left the Hall and walked down the corridor, she saw a set of stairs with a rope barrier. It led to the roof of the tower and she knew the ball committee had barred it from the guests, so it was perfect for a private phone call where she wouldn’t be overheard or interrupted by loud, tipsy people.

There was an old, small wooden door that opened to the roof at the top of the staircase and she was relieved to see it after climbing so many stairs in heels. The lock was already unlatched, and Rey opened it.

As she stepped onto the roof, she was about to press the call button next to Ben’s number but then she saw that there was a man there.

“Oh, sorry,” Rey mumbled.

She felt a little awkward now that she would have to make the call with someone else there, but she didn’t want to leave Ben hanging after she said that she would call back. So, Rey phoned him nonetheless.

The man turned around.

Furrowing her brows, Rey stared at him. She couldn’t make out much of his face as he was wearing a mask but there was a familiarity in his hair and his build. 

Simultaneously as Rey began the call, a phone started ringing. After a few rings, she realised that it was coming from the man who was standing opposite her, holding his phone in his hand.

Her eyes widened.

“Ben?” she whispered staring at the masked man through the dim light. The jigsaw pieces finally came together, and Rey could make out his eyes behind the mask.

A knowing smile spread across his lips and eyes; the smile that Rey could recognise in a heartbeat.

Ben lifted the phone up, showing Rey’s name displayed on it. “What’s in a name?” he said.

Rey looked down at her phone and ended the call knowing that Ben was now in front of her. She began reciting the verse back to him; “That which we call a rose-”

“By any other name would smell as sweet,” he whispered, moving closer to her before she could finish.

As the distance between them shortened, Rey lifted his mask revealing the face of the man she was in love with; Ben Solo.

“You came,” she whispered to him.

Rey felt his fingers on her face as he gently removed her own navy mask and placed it above her forehead. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he murmured, placing his hands on either side of Rey’s face.

Everything seemed surreal. Yet, he was there in front of her; solid on the dimly-moonlit roof. He was wearing a black-tie suit and a silver mask that was now above his forehead, pushing his dark strands back. She felt his hand stroke her cheek and then run through her curled hair.

“When did you get here? What about the book tour?” Rey’s head was swimming from the scent of his cologne and a million questions.

“I cancelled it and got here as soon as I could,” Ben sighed, “I missed you too much, and I didn’t like how I left things…” his sentence dropped to a soothing whisper as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. Rey put her hands on his which were on either side of her face. “You look so beautiful,” he murmured to her, “you always look so beautiful,” and before Rey could stutter a response, he softly kissed her lips.

Rey leaned her head back to give him more leverage and let herself sink into his strong embrace and warm mouth.

“I missed you too,” Rey breathed in between kisses. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer by the waist.

She felt his hands on the small of her back as they kissed until they were out of breath.

Leaning their foreheads together again, Rey saw specks of bright yellow in the corner of her eye. As Ben began kissing her cheek and jaw, Rey turned her head towards the yellow.

She emitted a soft laugh as his lips tickled the underside of her jaw. Trying to focus her eyes on the yellow again with his lips on her neck, she saw that there were bunches of yellow daisies around the bench near the wooden door.

Rey frowned in surprise, “Did you buy all these?”

Ben didn’t need to look up to know what she was referring to as he continued to embrace her. She felt his smile against her neck, “Of course.”

“They’re beautiful,” Rey put her hands on either side of his head, so she could look at his face again, “How am I so lucky?”

Ben frowned, “If only you knew what you do to me. I’m the lucky one,” his eyes softened as he looked at her, “You make me a better man… and incredibly happy. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She smiled and then took his hand and led them to the bench to sit down. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, but she began with one that had been bothering her. “What about your job?”

They sat close to each other on the bench, their knees touching the other’s as they faced one another. Ben rubbed the back of her hand reassuringly with his thumb. “I have royalties from my books.”

“But you _love_ teaching,” Rey retorted.

“Not as much as I love writing. And anyway, the new chancellor offered me my job back.”

“Holdo?” Rey smiled.

“You know?” Ben raised his brow.

“Yeah, she told me yesterday. I’m glad she gave you your job back.” Rey was relieved that he would no longer be fired but it also meant they would still have to keep their relationship a secret.

“Actually, I’ve declined.”

“Oh?” Rey frowned, trying to mask the slight relief in her voice.

“The publishers have commissioned me to write a novel. I’m going to become a full-time author. I’ll still get to teach the odd class as a guest lecturer for Advanced Creative Writing, but I want to focus on writing rather than teaching academic English.”

Rey smiled, “If this is what you want, then I’m happy for you.”

Ben leaned his forehead against hers again, “Plus… there is one added bonus, that’s pretty great…”

“Mmm, and what’s that?” she whispered back to him.

“I can do this without getting in trouble,” he murmured against her lips before kissing them again.

As she melted into him, Rey thought about how she would be quite happy to sit there forever, under the canopy of the night sky; the moon and the stars above them as their witnesses.

*

After putting their masks back on, Rey and Ben made their way to the ballroom.

The hall was dark apart from the dimmed lights of the chandelier above the guests. Rey tried to weave their way through the dancing bodies to a free spot in the corner of the room.

“May I, Madame President?” Ben whispered in her ear once they reached the corner, holding his hand out to her.

Gentle guitar chords began playing through the speakers and Rey instantly recognised it as _Song for The Asking_ by Simon and Garfunkel. She had a vintage tape of them growing up as a teenager and was one of her few and prized possessions. The song was soothing and familiar and she felt at home in his arms.

They began to sway. He was leading her, and Rey didn’t even have to put any effort in as they spun together on the ballroom floor in harmony with the melody of the song and the other dancers around them.

As the lights from the strobes shone on Ben’s face she saw the familiar glint in his eyes.

Rey briefly brought her lips to his and at that moment, she felt as if they were the only two people in the room. They basked in the stolen moment in which they allowed themselves to kiss each other with their masks and the dimness of the room to protect them.

They danced through several songs, most of them soft and slow.

Halfway through a song, however, the singer’s voice became muffled and broken. When Rey turned around to see what was going on, she saw that the singer was fighting with someone on stage who was trying to steal her microphone.

Squinting her eyes, Rey recognised the red hair as Armitage Hux. Eventually, he managed to snatch the microphone from the singer and the band stopped the music. Hux swayed on the stage and it was clear that he was quite drunk.

“EXCUSE ME, silence, please! I have an announcement,” he stuttered loudly through the microphone and stumbled off the stage onto the ballroom dance floor.

Rey’s eyes widened, and she tried to make her way towards Hux in order to stop him and Ben followed behind.

Soon, Rey spotted lilac hair and was relieved to see that Holdo was not far behind him near the stage.

“Armitage, what are you doing!?” Holdo shouted at him.

“Stay out of this, Amilyn! I need to do this. People need to hear the truth,” he slurred and then turned his face towards Rey who was standing opposite him now and pointed a long, scrawny finger at her. “Your precious President…” he spat the plosive sounds through the mic as if they were dirty words.

Rey tried to grab the mic but Hux moved swiftly back and began to slur again, “Your precious President and that hopeless excuse of a professor…” he said pointing to Ben now who was stood next to Rey, “EX-professor, Ben Solo I should say, are secretly dating.” Then he lunged forward suddenly and ripped their masks off forcefully without warning.

“Hux, what the hell are you doing!?” Ben shouted at him.

“Leave them alone!” a voice called from the crowd and Rey saw in the corner of her eye that it was Poe with her other friends moving towards the front of the scene.

“She should be punished!” Hux moved forward to Rey again, snarling at her.

“Get away from her!” Ben roared back before Hux could get closer to Rey.

“Shut up, Ben! You’re the reason why the Chancellor was fired. You and _that girl_!” He pointed between both of them and then turned to the rest of the crowd, “Is this the kind of President you lot want? One who’s stuck her tongue down her professor’s throat!?”

“ARMITAGE, THAT’S ENOUGH!” Holdo boomed from behind them and the whole room silently turned towards her. Her lilac hair fell messily around her forehead; she had just unplugged the microphone from the extension cord.

Hux strode up to her and sneered, “Who are _you_ to tell me what to do? You should be condemning them! Wait till the new Chancellor hears that you approve of a student-teacher relationship.”

“I _am_ the new Chancellor,” Holdo’s voice was like soft thunder; poised but powerful to knock Hux back.

The look of panic and horror on his face sobered him almost instantly. “I…” Hux began to stutter incomprehensibly. He frowned, “I had no idea…”

“Perhaps you’ll have more to say to me in my office on Monday morning,” Holdo barked at him, “Now go home, Armitage, before you cause any more damage.”

She moved towards him and grabbed him by the arm, Ben helped her too, dragging him towards the door. They were soon met by the college’s security team who finished dragging him out. Ben and Holdo followed them out of the door to deal with the situation privately.

Rey’s stomach was in the worst of knots as she stood shaken on the dancefloor. It was like she had just experienced one of those humiliating high school nightmares but in real life. Everyone knew now and she dreaded to look up at the people who were probably staring at her. Except at that moment, someone in the crowd yelled something;

“It’s about time we got rid of that Hux!”

And another voice echoed; “Yeah! Made my life hell he did!”

Then, Holdo and Ben returned to the hall and everyone started clapping and cheering at them. Eventually, Holdo put her hands out to quieten their applause.

“Thank you. I think we’ve had enough drama for this evening. So, let’s get back to dancing. Shall we?” she pointed to the singer who was sitting on the edge of the stage, the rest of the band were still holding their instruments.

“The show must go on!” the singer replied, smiling and she grabbed the fallen microphone off the floor and re-plugged it in. “This next song is for the new Chancellor!”

And soon enough, everyone got back to dancing and the world was normal again. Except now, Rey felt another weight lifted off. Her relationship with Ben was no longer a secret.

Soon Holdo came over to Rey to check that she was okay while Ben was chatting with one of the security guards.

“Thank you, Amilyn,” Rey said to her.

“I’ll sort him out on Monday. Ignore what he said, you’re not breaking any rules with me,” Holdo smiled and then leaned closer to her, “You know, my husband was my professor,” she whispered in Rey’s ear and then winked at her before walking away. Rey smiled at her.

For the rest of the evening, Rey danced with Ben and her friends through to the early hours of the morning until they watched the sunrise on the library lawn. She had never felt happier.

*

When the ball finished, after the photographer took a “Survivors Photo” of the remaining guests, Ben decided to walk Rey back to her room. Finn and Rose had already returned to Willow since Rey stayed a little longer to help clear up the ballroom floor.

Ben held Rey’s hand the whole way there; even going up the stairs to her dorm room.

“I have something for you,” he said once they arrived outside her door. He rummaged through his messenger bag and retrieved something.

It was a paper bag. Reaching her hand inside, Rey found a book. When she turned it over, she saw that it was Ben’s poetry collection that he had recently published; the same manuscript she had read all those months ago in December.

“Wow, it’s the real thing,” Rey said as she admired the newly printed book.

“There’s a small addition which I didn’t put in the manuscript. I’ll leave you to find it.” Ben smiled at her.

“Thank you, for this, and for coming to the ball. I had an amazing time,” Rey looked up at Ben.

“Me too,” he said gazing into her eyes, “We’ll see each other soon. Goodnight, Rey,” he whispered leaning in for another kiss. When they parted their lips, he whispered; “Or I should say _morning_.”

Rey laughed softly, “Goodnight, Ben.”

*

Once Rey was in bed with the curtains closed and her nightlight on, she flicked open Ben’s newly published book.

On the third page, there was a dedication;

_To Rey,_

_My darling light._

_It was all for you._


End file.
